One topic that sometimes comes up in our many conversations about how we interpret tarot is how sexual orientation shows up in the cards. I’ve written and spoken about this a few times, maybe most notably in my Answers to Your Questions About Tarot series.

Recently I taught a class on YouTube about the Suit of Cups. It was interesting that a few of the Cups cards garnered comments and questions around the possibility of signifying homosexuality.

I have always resisted the idea that there might be specific cards that speak about gay people or gay issues. Any of the seventy-eight cards might speak of gay people, just as any of the seventy-eight cards might speak of straight people.

Since the suit of Cups, related to Water, is all about feelings, relationships, romance, and emotion, it makes sense that any discussion of this suit would encompass relationships. Yet, never have I been in a tarot class where someone says that a particular card will always be interpreted as a heterosexual person. I am not sure why we would consider that there would or could be such a card to indicate a member of the LBGTQI community.

Is traditional tarot heteronormative? It certainly could be considered that way, since many cards show heterosexual couples, and because the societies of which tarot was borne were themselves heteronormative. There are now many tarot decks that depict same-sex couples as a remedy to this. Yet, we could easily use a deck with same-sex depictions to read for heterosexual people, just as we can use a deck with opposite-sex couples to read for gay people.

When I first became a professional tarot reader my colleagues and I had a strong unfortunate incentive to be able to see in a reading when someone was gay. Back then, the expected life trajectory of a gay person was different than that of a straight person. If the Ten of Cups came up for someone’s unmarried son, suggesting that the son would one day be married with children could send a client into peals of sarcastic laughter. “My son is gay, so that will never happen. You aren’t a very good psychic, are you?”  

A reminder that love is love and love makes a family was usually enough to win back the reading. Yet, the 2015 Supreme Court decision in Obergefell v. Hodges opened the path for anyone’s kids to one day be married and be parents. This made a real difference in the language we could comfortably use at the tarot table. It also made it less important to try to use the cards, or intuition, to understand the sexuality of a client or their family members.

Tarot readers often end up helping people explore their identity or orientation and helping family members find a way to accept or support that exploration. However, none of those sorts of tasks require a specific card to reveal the things that people must always figure out for themselves.

One card that came up in conversation during my Cups class was the Knight of Cups. Several students authoritatively stated that this card could represent a gay man. Of course, it can. And so can any other card in the deck. The Knight of Cups can be a man who is in touch with his feelings. But, suggesting that a male in touch with his feelings is likely to be gay buys into a misandrist culture of toxic masculinity that is best left without oxygen.

There are any number of opportunities to discuss sexuality, gender, identity and relationships at the tarot table. If we understand the nuances of all the cards, and are intuitive in our approach, we can do a good job for any client in any situation. And, we can do this without trying to force an individual card to inform us of a person’s orientation.

And, to whichever ill-informed tarot teacher is spreading the rumor that there are specific cards that indicate sexual orientation, last century called. You know what they said? Even they want you to update your practices to reflect reality rather than you own outdated views. Tarot helps us evolve.