There is no denying that we do relationships differently, much differently, than in generations past. Yet, we often trot out our grandmother’s worn-out relationship wisdom to help us understand the complexities of modern life. Sometimes Grandma’s advice is timeless. Some of the time old relationship protocols just don’t translate well to our new world.

One of the standard and unquestioned rules of dating is to make sure your relationship “has a future.” The person you are investing time in must be “marriage material.”

If you want to get married and have kids, this is an essential rule. If you don’t want kids, you might want to rethink this rule. For you, the present may be more important than the future.

Sometimes we meet people who aren’t exactly “marriage material,” but who are really enjoyable to be around. If marriage is what you are looking for, these people are a waste of time for you.

However, if you are not interested in reproduction, or if your kids are already grown, the value of a relationship might be measured more in what it offers you in the present, rather than what it might secure for the future.

Generations ago, people formed relationships to ensure their survival. Now, we are perfectly capable of surviving on our own. Often, the purpose of a relationship can be recreation and enjoyment, rather than sharing work and resources.

These days not every relationship needs to have a future in order to be considered an appropriate relationship. Sometimes it really is ok to just be in the now, as long as everyone is on the same page.

In a rapidly changing world, it’s important to remember that the relationship norms of earlier times may not work for every person. The freer we feel to create the exact relationship that works for our unique situation, the more likely we are to find the simple happiness of love.