Many times people are taken by surprise when their new relationships fail.

“I just know this is the one for me. We have a connection.”

The belief that you just lost your one chance at true love makes it hard to heal and move on.

The fact is this. Every new relationship has a phenomenal chemistry. Ever new relationship has an energy and a sense of destiny. That’s how relationships happen. Without that “new relationship energy” there would be no relationships at all.

We make a mistake when we assume that amazing feeling of being newly in love inherently means the relationship is meant to me.

Fifty years later, if you are telling the story of how you fell in love at first sight, then you know that “new relationship energy” held the promise of a future.

Here’s another thing. That couple that has been together for fifty years had some red flags about each other back in the beginning. Knowing that comes in handy when we are angry that we went ahead with a doomed relationship even though there were some red flags.

Just as every new relationship has that high-octane chemistry, every new relationship has some red flags. If you wait for a relationship that has no questions and no concerns, you will wait a lifetime.

The bottom line is this. Enjoy your new relationship, and see what happens. Make note of the red flags, and don’t attach to a particular outcome.  And, if you relationship ends, don’t kick yourself. Sometimes we have to explore opportunities that don’t work out.

Finding the right relationship is a numbers game. There are bound to be some that don’t work out. If you can simply enjoy getting to know another person without the pressure of worrying about the future, you will more easily find the person who is right for you.