Just yesterday, a few weeks after my birthday, I realized how wonderful it is to be the age I am. I’m old enough to have learned a few things, and young enough to have a future that will benefit from those lessons.

This morning, my happy mood was darkened slightly by a listicle on Answers.com, “9 Things Middle Aged Women Should Stop Doing Immediately.” It was silly of me to hope to find helpful information there.

Many middle age women go through a great deal of healing and transformation. We release what no longer serves us, and embrace positive change as we develop the courage and grace that comes with the passage of time.

The listicle even mentioned some of the things we need to release – we should stop smoking, stop eating processed foods, and stop forgetting to exercise. I agree, by the time we have been on the planet for fifty years, we should know how to take care of ourselves.

The list also concerns itself with our appearance. Apparently we should also stop wearing mom jeans and too much makeup.

I understand the fashion dilemma of being an older woman. Who are our icons? Whom can we emulate?  Where can we find fun, flattering clothes? My mother had wonderful fashion sense until she turned forty. On that day, it seemed, every item of clothing in her wardrobe turned beige.

I would love some great fashion advice. A listicle reminding me that I’m not twenty anymore doesn’t really cut it. It also makes me believe that whomever wrote this list couldn’t be more than thirty. So, here’s a clue for you. I l know I’m not twenty anymore, and I’m glad. I like the age I am. The fact that I don’t long for my youth, and I do look forward to my future, shouldn’t surprise you, but apparently it does.

The role of middle aged women in our society is changing. Now, we are not just grannies. Now, we are doctors, attorneys, dancers and artists. But, who tells a doctor or an attorney how to dress? And who thinks it matters what a competent adult wears? Articles such as this work to keep us from experience our lives fully. Middle aged women, apparently, just need to not look too weird. We don’t really contribute anything, we just need to learn how to dress, and how to eat.

I refuse to be marginalized by those who apparently care more about my jeans than my contributions.