Dancing Cranes

Here in Florida we have a lot of really large birds. The sand hill cranes, many of whom migrate here from Missouri, are some of my favorites.

A few weeks ago, I stoped to take a picture of a pair of sand hill cranes. Then, they began their mating dance. I was happy to catch some of it on video.

I am not usually the person who has the presence of mind to snap a picture or take a video when something interesting happens, so this was a really nice moment for me.

I hope you enjoy this as much as I did!

Dancing Sand Hill Cranes, Lutz FL

Video of Dancing Sand Hill Cranes, Lutz FL

What Should Middle Aged Women Do?

Just yesterday, a few weeks after my birthday, I realized how wonderful it is to be the age I am. I’m old enough to have learned a few things, and young enough to have a future that will benefit from those lessons.

This morning, my happy mood was darkened slightly by a listicle on Answers.com, “9 Things Middle Aged Women Should Stop Doing Immediately.” It was silly of me to hope to find helpful information there.

Many middle age women go through a great deal of healing and transformation. We release what no longer serves us, and embrace positive change as we develop the courage and grace that comes with the passage of time.

The listicle even mentioned some of the things we need to release – we should stop smoking, stop eating processed foods, and stop forgetting to exercise. I agree, by the time we have been on the planet for fifty years, we should know how to take care of ourselves.

The list also concerns itself with our appearance. Apparently we should also stop wearing mom jeans and too much makeup.

I understand the fashion dilemma of being an older woman. Who are our icons? Whom can we emulate?  Where can we find fun, flattering clothes? My mother had wonderful fashion sense until she turned forty. On that day, it seemed, every item of clothing in her wardrobe turned beige.

I would love some great fashion advice. A listicle reminding me that I’m not twenty anymore doesn’t really cut it. It also makes me believe that whomever wrote this list couldn’t be more than thirty. So, here’s a clue for you. I l know I’m not twenty anymore, and I’m glad. I like the age I am. The fact that I don’t long for my youth, and I do look forward to my future, shouldn’t surprise you, but apparently it does.

The role of middle aged women in our society is changing. Now, we are not just grannies. Now, we are doctors, attorneys, dancers and artists. But, who tells a doctor or an attorney how to dress? And who thinks it matters what a competent adult wears? Articles such as this work to keep us from experience our lives fully. Middle aged women, apparently, just need to not look too weird. We don’t really contribute anything, we just need to learn how to dress, and how to eat.

I refuse to be marginalized by those who apparently care more about my jeans than my contributions.

Election Day

It’s Election Day. First thing this morning, I walked to the polls to cast my vote for Mosquito Control Commissioner. There were other things on the ballot, too. Jon Stewart has been having a field day with our gubernatorial contest here in Florida; I can’t say I blame him.

Election Day is always somewhat romantic for me. I remember being a child and accompanying my mother in the old-fashioned voting booth. I remember her telling me about the sacred duty that I too, would one day have.

I brought my son to vote with me. He votes now. The other day he told me that young people would decide the future of Florida. It was a proud moment.

My son votes early. Most of my friends use the mail-in ballot now. I appreciate the shorter lines at the polls.

There is something about Election Day, about the actual process of coming together with my community to cast our ballots, which feels sacred to me.

It freaks me out when people chose not to vote. They often take an air of moral superiority, suggesting that the process is so broken they don’t want to sully themselves by participating in it.

I live in Florida. Believe me; I know the system is broken.

However, staying away from the polls won’t fix the problems. Staying away from the polls only makes the problems worse.

Yes, people died fighting for my right to choose between Rick Scott and Charlie Crist. It’s a sad state of affairs.

But it’s sadder still when people chose not to participate.

My New Ukulele

There’s an exciting new trend sweeping the nation. Have you noticed, over the past few years, more ukuleles around you?

In 2011, the New York Times said the ukulele craze had reached a “saturation point.” That’s when Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam released his solo album, “Ukulele Songs.”

Vedder isn’t the only musician to help spread the fame of the ukulele. The uke may owe much of its current favor to a track recorded in 1988 by Hawaiian musician Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, a medley of Judy Garland’s “Somewhere over the Rainbow” and Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World.” Over the next two decades, that track was featured in numerous movie and television soundtracks, including one of my favorite movies, “Fifty First Dates.”

Here in my community, we have a “Ukulele Orchestra.” That’s not as odd as it sounds. There are countless uke groups, classes and meetups throughout the country.

I play a little guitar. I mean, I play a normal-sized guitar, but only a little bit. I could have gone the easy way and bought a baritone ukulele, which has the same fingering as guitar.  I decided that learning different chord shapes would make me a better musician, so I got a tenor ukulele.

I’m finding that playing uke is a lot different than guitar, but in many ways, easier. Soon, I’ll be joining the uke orchestra for our first meeting of the season. What will it be like to play ukulele with ten or more other people? I can’t help but think it will be silly, and that’s the point.

The uke is a happy, silly, instrument. We could use more happy and silly in the world right now.

I got my uke from Compass Music in Madeira Beach. The owner, Chris Rooney, is a fabulous musician with a soft spot for ukuleles. He helped me narrow down my uke choices by playing old rock songs on each one for me. I have yet to be able to make the uke I chose, a Kala, create any of the sounds he made it make, but I’m hopeful for the future.
Before he put my new uke in its case, he played me one more song on it, accompanying himself with a kazoo. I snapped a picture. You have to love a guy who can play a kazoo with class.

I think the ukulele trend is a good thing for America. Ukuleles are inexpensive, easy to learn and fun to play. Playing music is creative, meditative and social.

My father played ukulele. I remember him in his church pulpit, leading the congregation in old hymns with his uke. At the time, he made me cringe. Now, it’s a sweet memory. Perhaps I can make my kids cringe, too.

I’ve learned a few chords, and am working out the strumming. We’ll see what happens next.

Dancing with Daleks: Time Lord Fest in Tampa

This Sunday I met a mechanical dog, danced with some Daleks and hung out with the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. I purchased an original t-shirt (“Optimus Time”) from the artist himself, met some authors, and attended a costume contest judged by Robert Allsopp, prop designer for both the classic and new Dr. Who.

I did all this in a bizarre storefront event venue in a Tampa shopping plaza. The neighboring bar (sporting a sign that said “Welcome, Time Lords”) and the Mr. Empanada were happy to serve the motley crew of Doctors, Companions, Tardis’ and Daleks, whose cleverly decorated vehicles filled the plaza parking lot. Inside the venue, fans of BBC’s “Dr. Who” eschewed the empanadas for fish sticks and custard, fish and chips and “Hot K-9s.”

The whole scene reminded me of Grateful Dead tour in the 1980s.  All of a sudden, a freaky group of fans in weird clothes with unusual bumper stickers can bring magic to the most mundane of places.

Where was I? It was Ken Spivey’s “Time Lord Fest 2014,” of course.

The venue, Tampa’s Event Factory, was a fanciful and surreal place to hold such a timey-wimey event.  Behind the strip mall doors is a glittery, Styrofoam-looking medieval castle resplendent in fairy lights and bountiful fake flowers. There is an enchanted forest, a Camelot-style courtyard and many sumptuous ballrooms. One might find it either cheesy or breathtaking, but one would have to admit the kitsch added to the ambiance of Time Lord Fest.

One of the things I love about Dr. Who is its diverse audience. Because Dr. Who is a fifty-year old institution; the Doctor has fans of all ages. Dr. Who, and its spinoff, Torchwood, both reflect real inclusivity without being preachy.

That inclusivity showed itself in some of the cosplay. There were recognizable Doctors and Captain Jacks wearing skirts, and folks of all ethnicities playing people of many species. The youngest Tardis I saw was three months old; the oldest was much older than I am.

There were an impressive number of panel discussions and presentations. I especially enjoyed the guest of honor, Robert Allsopp. I was a bit disappointed with the panel discussion of “Supernatural and Occult Elements in Dr. Who.”

The panelists were personable, intelligent and interesting. Two of the three panelists were horror writers. For them, supernatural and occult elements are tools for creating horror stories and nothing more. The discussion may have gotten more informative. I left; frustrated that is was about “scary” storylines and not the occult elements in Dr. Who at all.

I was hoping to hear about true occult symbols and themes used in Dr Who, such as the tarot reading received by the Seventh Doctor. Next years’ Time Lord Fest could use a real occultist who also happens to be a Whovian. I can tell you for sure we exist.

It feels weird for me to be such a fan of a TV show. I don’t even watch broadcast TV! I have often accused big media companies of taking creativity out of the hands of common people and giving it only to the select few. Yet Time Lord Fest was an awesome display of individual and original creativity. Dr. Who, and the rest of fandom, inspires costumes, music, stories and art. Time Lord Fest wasn’t just about a TV show, it was a celebration of art and creativity.

I worry sometimes about the thin line between fan art and copyright infringement. On the other hand, I was thrilled to see so many people inspired by fifty years of Dr. Who.

The final events of the day included a performance by the Ken Spivey Band. The interesting thing about this three-person line-up is they have some actual and impressive musical cred.

I love that the Ken Spivey Band plays “Time Lord Rock,” and that “Time Lord Rock,” or “Trock,” is an actual genre.  I would love to hear more songs inspired by Dr. Who.

The Dalek Dance was one of my favorite moments of Time Lord Fest.

Next year, I’ll come in costume. For the final event, I’d like to see fewer chairs, and more dancing; because if you have a chance to dance with Time Lords, Daleks and other aliens, you definitely should.

Does your Relationship have a Future, and Does it Matter?

There is no denying that we do relationships differently, much differently, than in generations past. Yet, we often trot out our grandmother’s worn-out relationship wisdom to help us understand the complexities of modern life. Sometimes Grandma’s advice is timeless. Some of the time old relationship protocols just don’t translate well to our new world.

One of the standard and unquestioned rules of dating is to make sure your relationship “has a future.” The person you are investing time in must be “marriage material.”

If you want to get married and have kids, this is an essential rule. If you don’t want kids, you might want to rethink this rule. For you, the present may be more important than the future.

Sometimes we meet people who aren’t exactly “marriage material,” but who are really enjoyable to be around. If marriage is what you are looking for, these people are a waste of time for you.

However, if you are not interested in reproduction, or if your kids are already grown, the value of a relationship might be measured more in what it offers you in the present, rather than what it might secure for the future.

Generations ago, people formed relationships to ensure their survival. Now, we are perfectly capable of surviving on our own. Often, the purpose of a relationship can be recreation and enjoyment, rather than sharing work and resources.

These days not every relationship needs to have a future in order to be considered an appropriate relationship. Sometimes it really is ok to just be in the now, as long as everyone is on the same page.

In a rapidly changing world, it’s important to remember that the relationship norms of earlier times may not work for every person. The freer we feel to create the exact relationship that works for our unique situation, the more likely we are to find the simple happiness of love.

Resources for Mercury Retrograde

Mercury is in retrograde from October 4 to October 25, 2014.  Many people are uncomfortable signing contracts, traveling or working with electronics during a Mercury retrograde. While most astrologers will argue that the effects of Mercury retrograde are a real thing, many people don’t understand what Mercury retrograde is and how to work with it.

In case you are concerned about how Mercury might affect your October, here are some online resources to help you understand what’s going on, and what to do about it.

From Zuri, at AskZuri.com, here are “Seven Ways to Successfully Navigate a Mercury Retrograde.”

From Marina Macario at Dark Star Astrology, here is a great discussion of this October’s retrograde.

Here are Gala Darling’s ideas on how to survive a Mercury retrograde.

From Moly Hall, here is a clear understanding of “Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio-Libra.”

Overall, the message of these great astrologers is that we need to prepare for the retrograde and be aware of how it affects us, but Mercury retrograde is nothing to fear.

Bufalina: Not Your Usual New Haven Pizza

“New Haven Style Pizza,” or “apizza,” is so much of a thing it has it’s own Wikipedia listing. For the record, I choose Modern Apizza when I’m back in New Haven.

During my recent summer trip to Connecticut I discovered a new pizza restaurant in Guilford that really stretched me outside of my pizza comfort zone in the most delectable way.

Bufalina Wood Fired Pizza on Boston Post Road is in a charming quintessentially old Connecticut building, with outdoor seating in season. The dining areas are rustic but comfortable.

You can bring your own wine. Bring your own wineglasses, too, if you don’t want to drink out of the plastic cups they are happy to provide.

The menu is limited, and changes seasonally. I just read their new fall menu with a tear in my eye. Where is that fabulous white pizza with fig and gorgonzola and bacon?  I guess if I make it back before the menu changes again I will have to try the “Zucca,” which is a pie with roasted autumn squash, sage oil, fontina and sausage. That sounds good, too.

My friend and I ordered two pies to share, and a salad. Everything was fresh and delicious. We had a few slices left over to take home for breakfast.

No matter how it changes, the Bufalina menu seems to offer something for the pizza traditonalist, something for the vegetarians and vegans, and something for the culinarily adventurous. For me, fig on a pizza was a pretty big leap, but fig with gorgonzola and bacon was too crazy not to try. When would I ever get another chance to taste something like that?

Now my question is, when can I have it again?

I will make sure to visit Bufalina the next time I’m in Connecticut.

Beyond Anger and Activism

I have always been an activist. I have marched, chanted, demonstrated, picketed, canvassed, petitioned, fundraised, organized and spoken out about things that matter to me.

My family and my church taught me that being vocal about my beliefs was my patriotic duty, and my spiritual duty.

My friends told me it took courage to speak out against things that I don’t like.

My heroes are people who took a courageous stand, like Rosa Parks or Miep Gies.

Years ago, I worked for political organizations as a fundraiser and organizer. One respected organizational director often said that activism is fueled by a slow burning anger.

These days, there are lots of activists, and lots of anger. There is no doubt that activism plays a vital role in creating social change.  I’m getting a little tired of the anger, though.

I think I am going to need to find a new way to fuel my desire for a more perfect society. Instead of fueling my vision with anger, I am going to fuel my vision with love.

What would it look like, I wonder, to be an activist for love?

From now on, every time I hear or see something that arouses my righteous activist anger, I am going to consciously send love to the source of my anger.

Instead of ridiculing those who thinking differently than I, I will keep them in my prayers.

Instead of staying away from those who fear and misunderstand me, I will make an effort to find some common ground.

When I see people behaving in ways of which I don’t approve, I will be an example of a different way to behave.

Instead of complaining about the problems in the world, I will use my energy to make a positive change in some small way, for somebody.

As an angry activist, I was often frustrated. I felt the work we were doing only held back the evil tide, and never conquered it.

There will always be angry activists, and that’s a good thing. Someone has to hold back that evil tide, whatever that tide may be at any given time.

But what if those of us who have become too tired, too busy, too cynical or too happy to be angry could find a new way to create change on the planet?

What if the way to do that was simply to follow that Biblical directive from the book of Matthew, “love your enemies?”

While there was plenty of reason to be angry, I am pretty sure it was love, and not anger, that caused Miep to risk her own life to try to say the lives of Anne Frank and her family.

What if anger can hold back the tide, but love is the power to conquer it?

It’s worth a try.

Staying at Peace

“Don’t let anyone steal your peace.” That’s a quote from Bikram Choudhury, although many people have adapted the concept to suit their own belief systems.

I like it. In a world where anything can happen, it’s nice to know that we can keep our balance, and maintain a sense of inner harmony.

Fear, uncertainty and doubt are peace-stealers. So often, those who would steal our peace do it by sowing seeds of fear.

To keep our peace, we must reject fear.

To stay at peace, we must accept uncertainty.

If we could each commit to maintaining our own peace, and resisting fear, what would the world look like then?