The Oracle of Music

Years ago, I was given a ticket to see TV psychic John Edward live in Cromwell, Connecticut. It was the first time I had seen a psychic gallery, long before I started doing galleries myself.

It’s funny the things that stick with you after some time passes. The thing I remember most from Edward’s presentation was something he said about the ways in which our loved ones communicate with us. Of course, he listed the usual: aromas, flickering lights, and dreams. Then he said this.

Our loved ones communicate to us through songs on the radio. I don’t know how they do it, but they do.

We all nodded our heads in agreement. How often has an unlikely song come on the radio at just the right time?

I’ve worked in radio. I’ve been the resident psychic of fourteen stations, and morning co-host of three. I know exactly how and why songs get played on the radio. The program director controls what gets played and when, not your dearly departed great aunt Martha.

Yet, we have all felt counseled, consoled and comforted by our loved ones in spirit, or by the Universe in general, when we have heard a specific song at a specific time.

It’s not just the radio. My friend and colleague Marcy Currier refers to her iPod Oracle. Hit shuffle. Whatever song comes up can be interpreted as your message.

The other day I was out on a fitness walk with my Apple Watch. I love to listen to my favorite tunes when I exercise. Five minutes into the walk the music suddenly stopped. No amount of button pressing could get the audio going, although everything seemed to look as if it were functioning normally.

I kept my headphones on because it felt silly to carry them and continued to walk in silence. That’s enjoyable, too. Yet, without the music, my brain usually finds its way to a problem it can chew on, either creative or strategic.

I had resigned myself to a silent walk when suddenly, while gnawing on a quandary, my smartwatch resumed functioning, playing a different song than it had been when it mysteriously petered out.

You may think I am modern and high tech with my Apple Watch and Bose headphones, but the truth is that I haven’t master playlists. All my favorite songs are in one ginormous playlist. This means that the odds of a particular song playing are five hundred to one.

The song that started playing was incredibly relevant to the question I was mulling over as I walked.

Again, I understand technology. Angels don’t operate my Apple Watch. Software does. Yet, one cannot argue the wisdom of an oracle, however it presents itself.

Maybe there is something inherently magical and symbolic about music. Maybe Spirit uses whatever earthly tools it can to get the message through.

Lately, I’ve started to take notice of whatever song is playing in stores and restaurants and look for meaning there.

Whether the images of tarot cards or the riff of a screamin’ guitar, art evokes feeling and energy in humans. Perhaps our guides, guardians, angels and ancestors are equally moved, and share that connection with us.

The Difference Between Saying and Praying

In most religions and spiritual paths there is a practice of reciting memorized prayers, invocations, litanies and chants. When I was a little girl in Sunday School at the United Methodist Church I took pride in having memorized the Apostle's Creed before any of my classmates. I recited it loudly and proudly in church every Sunday.

These days, I still find power in the speaking, singing and chanting of sacred words, and know that their power is multiplied when uttered in unison with others. I know, too, that their power is enhanced with each recitation; that the chant I wrote five years ago has more power now, because it has been used so many times now, by so many voices.

There are also sacred words that we utter privately, in prayer, invocation, incantation, or to create sacred space. Many tarot readers and energy healers have specific prayers that they say before they begin their work.

As a mentor of professional tarotists, readers, healers and psychics, I often field questions from students who feel they aren't making the psychic connections as easily and reliably as they feel they should. Anyone who has been in this situation knows how frustrating that lack of connection can be!

Very often, the problem comes down to a simple root cause. I ask my student how they prepare for a session. The student will rapidly recite the prayer that prepares them for reading with the vigor of my child self in church, saying the Creed.

What generally ensues is a lesson in the ways we can use our words to connect with our will and our focus to move energy around us and through us.

It's the difference between simply saying “I am love” or using that phrase as you actively pull the energy of love from earth and heaven, run it through your body and send it out of your heart chakra into the world.

It's all well and good to affirm that you are, indeed, love, and it is a helpful affirmation. That alone, however, won't sustain you in an emotional crisis, because it's intellectual, not energetic.

The same is true for any affirmation, any invocation, incantation, healing energy work, chant, prayer of protection or preparation for psychic work.

The words we utter are sacred and powerful, but they need our active energy, focus and intention to bring them to life.

The next time you utter sacred words, use meditative breathing and mental focus to make those words more than something you say; let them become something you do.

The added power this brings to your prayer will most certainly make a difference.

Spiritual Single Still Seeking a Soulmate? Here's 10 Thoughts That Aren't Helping!

There’s a particular stereotype about professional diviners that suggest we have at our tables a never-ending parade of lovelorn women seeking hope for their disastrous romantic situations.

The truth is, people at my table are just as likely to seek connection with loved ones in spirit, business advice, and understanding of family dynamics as they are information about their love lives. However, it is fair to say that some reference to romance appears in virtually every reading.

That’s because our intimate relationships are so definitive of, and connected to, our experience in life.

It’s not only heterosexual women who seek insight from diviners. Over the course of my career I have read for people of all genders in all sorts of relationship configurations.

While no two situations, relationships, people or problems are the same, there are some threads of commonality that have become very clear to me over a quarter-century of full-time professional divining.

One demographic amongst those who bring me questions about love seems to have a great deal of commonality. That group is spiritual singles who are hoping to find love. They may be male, female, gay, trans or straight – what they seem to have in common are some particular perceptions about love, dating and spirituality.

Some of those perceptions are helpful, others may be so damaging as to become a barrier from finding the love they so desperately desire.

If you are a single spiritual person hoping to meet someone special, or afraid you won't, see if you are harboring any of these dangerous perceptions. 

1. It’s too late. 

Other variations of this are, I’m too fat or I’m too old.

One thing that is true about love is that love has no limitations. But, if your thinking about the possibilities of love is limited you’ll have a harder time finding what you want.

2. There are no good single people around me. 

Yes, sometimes the dating pool is shallow. When every visit to Bumble or Match shows you the same gallery of the same usual suspects, and every trip to the local watering hole delivers the same, it’s easy to believe that there are just no good candidates to be found. Thinking that way, though, isn’t helpful. If the old haunts turn up the same old faces, it’s time to find new haunts! 

3. Relationships aren’t worth it anyway.

If you don’t know the profound value of a relationship, it’s because you haven’t yet had a good one. Have faith in the power of love. Really.

4. I can’t be happy until I find love.

If you can’t be happy without a relationship you will never be happy with a relationship. Cultivate your happiness now, as a single person, and you will have happiness to share with someone special.

5. I know this new relationship is THE ONE because we share a birthday.

Variations on this can include any sort of synchronicity, spiritual sign, omen or intuitive feeling.

The fact is, we often feel a sense of spiritual connection and rightness at the beginning of a relationship. Sometimes that is a sign of good things ahead. Sometimes it’s not. This is important because single people often waste a lot of time trying to make bad relationships work, or mourning the loss of relationships, because they have over-spiritualized those relationships. The more time we spend on folks who aren't right, the less time we have to find the one who is.

6. I’ve never felt this way about someone before, so I know it must be right.

A new feeling, or a new experience, does not necessarily translate into permanence. There could be many other reasons for your feelings, including infatuation, chemistry, horniness, or even  growth in your own capacity to make a connection.

7. He’s a Scorpio and I’m an Aries so we can’t be together.

Please, please don’t let sun signs keep you from exploring a relationship! A good astrologer can look at your charts and see what the compatibility, and potential problems, might be. And, any good astrologer will tell you that one can’t possibly assess compatibility based on sun signs alone.

8. I love my ex so much, I don’t think I can ever love anyone like that again.

Love is infinite in its capacity. You may not be able to imagine yourself with someone right now, just like you can’t imagine eating food after you’ve had a big meal. In a while, though, you’ll be hungry again.

9. I need to tell the Universe exactly what I want in a partner.

This can actually be a good exercise, but it’s not a necessary one. There are many common advices about what one must do to find a great partner. Some say you have to make that list, others say you have to actively date, others say the right one comes when you stop looking. All of these things will be true for someone, so do what feels right for you!

10. I am sure I will know my soulmate when I see her.

Love at first sight is a real thing, but we can’t know if it’s really love or just attraction until some time passes.  Assuming you’ll know it when you see it could cause you to miss a good opportunity, or to waste time with a bad one.

Additionally, the term “soulmate” can be counter-productive because sets up a lot of expectations. The fact is, there are very likely a few people on the planet who could be a good match for you. Often, we over-spiritualize the concept of love and partnership to the point that we make it feel more impossible than it is.

Love is all around us, yet often feels dishearteningly elusive. Ironically, when we see dating in a practical, logical way we can increase our chances of finding the amazing spiritual connection we seek.

The Power of Hope in Harrowing Times

Recently it’s felt like every day brings with it a new disaster. We have storms, floods, fires and earthquakes, along with mass violence, terrorism, political instability and threats of war.

It’s a big planet. On any given day, there are plenty of places where people suffer. Sometimes we forget that, and it feels like disaster only happens to other people. We watch it on TV, and, if we feel moved, we crack open the wallet, just as we are cracking open a beer to watch the game. Now, even the world of sports is dominated by an argument much bigger than which team to root for, or which team will win.

Now, we watch as our friends on social media lose their homes, their loved ones, and their livelihoods. Rarely does a tragedy happen that we don’t immediately think of those we know who may be impacted.

Most of us are compassionate people. We care about what happens to others, and want to help when we can. Some of us are empathic people. We feel the suffering of others, even across the distance.

Those of us who so far have been lucky enough to stay largely unaffected have been deeply moved when we see stories of heroism. Even as folks are attacking each other with words and memes on social media, people in disaster zones are helping each other survive.

For those who have been directly impacted by this recent wave of disasters, life will never be the same. Whether personal tragedy is suffered by a single individual or by a group, in a private disaster or a public one, the need for healing, for finding a new normal, and finding spiritual peace in the face of loss, is the same for everyone.

The rest of us, we lucky ones, are suffering, too. One can never compare the wounds of a nation with the wounds of a bereaved individual. Yet, it must be said that, after storms, fires, shootings and terrorism, we are all hurting right now.

We are hurt by the threat of violence, and we are hurt to see so many suffer, and so many still in harm’s way.

The Uranus-versus-Pluto political divide that is expressing itself all over the globe hurts us too. Here in the US, and in many places abroad, we are divided in our opinions and beliefs, but all hurt by the lack of civility and our recent inability to find common ground.

If you are lucky enough to have your home still standing and your family safe, you may feel a bit silly for feeling anything but gratitude for your good fortune. You may even feel a sense of “survivor guilt” as you go about your daily activities while others are longing for a return to normalcy that may never come.

None of that denies the truth that it can be difficult to live your normal life and work your normal job and enjoy your normal activities when it feels like the world is in chaos.

At the same time, those of us who are able to continue normal life have a responsibility to do so. It’s in everyone’s best interest to keep the fabric of normal life intact.

I’m not a sports fan by any means, but waking up to the news that the Houston Astros had won the World Series filled me with a sense of spiritual joy. That’s because the win reminds us all that we could be underwater one day, and champions the next.

Sometimes dire circumstances give us a special kind of courage, and a deep desire, not only to survive, but to thrive. Our ability to have hope in the face of disaster is a strong weapon against defeat.

Whether we are grieving private loss or a public one, the bravest thing we can do in any grave situation is to keep on going. Our greatest defense is to live, to laugh, to plan for the future and to play to win in the face of doubt and uncertainty.

Staying positive isn’t about being grounded in denial, it’s about knowing the powerful force that positive, proactive energy always is.

Even when we feel powerless to make a difference, and even in the face of grief and tragedy, we must stay focused on a better future because that focus is the greatest light we can bring to any dark situation.

Sometimes the light we bring is a donation of resources for those in need. Sometimes it’s a kind word, or a smile. Sometimes it’s the willingness to work a little harder and try a little more.

Always, the light we bring is hope – the knowledge that, just as great tragedy can strike at any time, wonderful blessings are always equally possible. Even better, the energy with which we respond to tragedy can set the stage for great victory.

Girl Jerry Brings the Tunes to South Florida

I must admit that I think about the Grateful Dead every day. I find spiritual meaning in the music, and the community.

I also find spiritual meaning, and my livelihood, in my work with tarot. Often, the latter leaves little time for the former.

As much as I regret missing shows, I love the life I’ve chosen, and would not have had the courage to choose my tarot life without my Grateful Dead life prior. The fact is, I learned to read tarot on Dead tour.

Before going to see Girl Jerry a week and a half ago, I hadn’t had a Dead fix since seeing the John Kadlecik Band at Skipper’s Smokehouse in Tampa in February 2016. When I saw that it was Grateful Dead night at Terra Fermata, just a few miles from my new home in Stuart, I was excited to put on my dancing shoes and check out the local scene.

Girl Jerry separates itself from most other local Dead cover bands in the way the band’s name suggests; the lead guitarist and two lead vocalists are female.

Lest folks assume that the hippie vibe of Deadheads always translates into gender equality, or any other equality-based values, let me be clear that it doesn’t, and that Girl Jerry is brave to replace the parts traditionally played by “the boys” with women, no matter how talented. Just look at the backlash against a female Dr. Who – no community, no matter how seemingly enlightened, is immune to sexism.

The rock world in general has been a hostile place for women, but there was no hostility at Terra Fermata when Girl Jerry took the open-air stage.

I was thrilled with my fellow heads, who braved the heat and humidity and danced from sound check to the final song. The crowd was appreciative and supportive of the band, and of each other. I felt at home after having been too long at sea.

The material selection for the evening leaned a bit toward the traditional and western stuff. Me and My Uncle, Jack-a-roe, Goin’ Down the Road Feelin’ Bad and I Know You Rider had everyone up and dancing, and had me just a wee bit tired of the bright, folky beat, when I long for the deeper tunes I loved in my youth.

It’s important to remember that precision was never highly valued by the Grateful Dead, or by we Deadheads. Typically, Dead cover bands are tighter than the boys themselves often were. I can’t quite say that about Girl Jerry; there were some moments when the rhythm seemed off, or a chord didn’t quite happen as it should. The second set was better than the first, but this Deadhead had no complaints; Girl Jerry totally provided my long-overdue Dead fix.

The few off moments were nothing compared to the many, many legitimately brilliant moments. The band showed their unique vibe when they rolled out a couple of non-Dead jams, including an unlikely but workable mash-up of Pink Floyd’s The Wall with Shakedown Street.

The lead guitar and vocals were on point. There is no way to play guitar “like a girl”, it’s either good or it isn’t, and, it was very good. Vocals are another story. We got used to female voices on Dead tunes with Joan Osborne and Susan Tedeschi, sure, but a whole night of Dead tunes sung by women? Could it work? Oh, yeah. It worked beautifully. The blues, the soul, the folk and the straight-ahead rock all happened without benefit of a lead tenor, baritone or bass vocalist.

The other band members are male. I’m sad that I didn’t catch the names of any of the musicians. I also didn’t keep set lists – I was too busy dancing. I guess that says it all, doesn’t it? The band plays well together, works well with the crowd, and plays my favorite tunes. I hope they play together for many years!

My favorite songs of the night were a really inspired Eyes of the World, a soulful Stella Blue, and an out-of-the-park Morning Dew. The Morning Dew, apparently, was new for the band, and had not been performed before outside of rehearsal. Obviously, the band was feeling what I was feeling that night – the crowd was with them.  And, clearly, they were with us.

The Scarlet Begonias and Fire on the Mountain were joyful and uplifting. My friend, Suzie, who loves to dance but isn’t a deadhead, burned it up on the dance floor with me. At one point, she asked me, after telling me how much she was enjoying the music, “Is this band good?” She was looking for my discerning deadhead opinion, of course.

I answered unequivocally. Yeah, they rock.

This weekend begins “Jerry Week” or, “The Days Between” Jerry’s birthday and the anniversary of his joining the band in rock and roll heaven. There will be plenty of opportunities to check out local Dead bands where ever you happen to be, or to join your friends for the “Grateful Dead Meet-up at the Movies” by Fathom Events.

If you happen to be in South Florida, make sure you check out Girl Jerry, as well as our other wonderful local acts.

As much as we appreciate the national acts that keep the music going, my heart is with the local acts who keep the spirit alive close to home. Not all of us enjoy the health and wealth it requires to follow bands across the country as we did in our youth.

Girl Jerry is such an act – they rock, not despite their gender, but, in part, because of it. Soul, rhythm and musical depth are both and neither male and female, and the wisdom of the Grateful Dead belongs to us all.

Girl Jerry delivered that wisdom in a way that reminded me where my church is, and has always been.

The Bunny in the Bramble Patch

The Blog March is on! Organized by Robin Renee, we are blogging in celebration of freedom of expression, knowledge and information.

Each Day in May, a new writer will join the March. Visit Robin Renee’s blog to read more about the Blog March, and find the master list of blog marchers.

May 1 is Kevin Patterson, and May 3 will be Domino Valdano.

I’m the marcher for May 2. Thanks for marching along with me.

Yesterday was May First. Celebrated as International Worker’s Day, it’s the cross-quarter day between the Vernal Equinox and the Summer Solstice.

When I was a child, we celebrated May Day by creating paper “May baskets” and hanging them on the doors of neighbors and loved ones. Later, I discovered this tradition was a holdover from the Pagan celebration of Beltane, or Beltaine.

As a young adult, I began celebrating Beltane with my friends, complete with a Maypole. When my son was born on May 4, Beltane became a time to celebrate his birthday, too.

For my son’s third birthday, my friends and I agreed to gather at Kettletown State Park in Connecticut for a celebration. There would be birthday cake and games for the kids, guitars, drums and wine for the adults, and a pot luck picnic for everyone.

We all brought colorful ribbons, and my friends who had a truck brought a large pole.

The Maypole dance was the focal point of the day. We laughed, danced, drummed and chanted our way around the pole, weaving the ribbons in and out. Kids blew bubbles and pulled their younger siblings in wagons around the outer circle, joined by our family dogs, gleeful to be part of the festivities.

Afterwards, a few of us walked up to the meadow beyond the space we had claimed, where we saw another group also celebrating Beltane.

This group was dressed all in black and white robes.  Their Maypole was a solemn affair, with black and white alternating ribbons. They moved with precision, creating an equal balance of light and dark as they danced silently with each other.

We marveled that, in this small Connecticut town, there were two groups celebrating Beltane in the same park. Our two groups could not have been any more different. One, somber, precise and traditional, in black and white. The other, playful and colorful, in tie-dye.

At the end, one Maypole stood woven in black and white, the other was a mishmash of rainbows.

Neither of these was the right way to celebrate Beltane, nor was either the wrong way.  One way appealed to my friends and me, the other way appealed to our new friends.

Our two groups enjoyed a conversation and a beverage together, and then we each continued our own celebrations.

We didn’t argue about the one true way to celebrate Beltane, nor suggest that anyone’s deities or ancestors might be offended. We shared a drink, enjoyed our commonalities and honored our differences.

Folks all around the world seem to have a hard time doing what we so naturally did that day nearly 23 years ago – enjoying the things we have in common and finding ways to work together despite our differences. In some ways, our divisions seem to have a dangerous new intensity. Worse, those divisions seem to be fueled by the proliferation of fake news and alternative facts. When truth is only a matter of opinion, it’s easy to confuse people into swallowing a party line rather than making reasoned decisions.

There are many unprecedented components that seemed to have contributed to our current state of division, as a nation and as a planet. Digital media, the 24-hour news cycle, and significant wage disparity all seem factors in our growing division and distrust.

There is also a longstanding aspect of human nature that may require some evolution if we are going to become a peaceful planet with a sustainable future.  

That aspect is our binary world view. We are trained to view everything in terms of good versus bad, and us versus them.

Binary is a basic concept of our existence. As young people, we learn about opposites in absolute terms. The black and white ribbons and robes of the Maypole express this energy of balance between opposites.

When we look at today’s problems, and perhaps, our problems throughout history, we see that much trouble may come from that polarity of our thinking which naturally divides us.

Sometimes we don’t find solutions in the black and white, we need to look to the full spectrum for answers.

We see the obvious problems with a binary world view in our own American two-party political process. Perhaps America is too complex to be labeled as simply “conservative” or “liberal”, “red” or “blue”.

That polarity led us to our unwinnable election. With all the talent and intelligence in the United States, we ended up with a choice between the Pumpkin and the Pantsuit. It may as well have been a choice between Zap Brannigan and Mom from Futurama, or President Snow and President Coin from The Hunger Games. South Park echoed our frustration with a plot line about an election between “Giant Douche” and “Turd Sandwich”.

Maybe the system of absolutes, where your only options are on or off, one or zero, male or female, up or down, doesn’t always work in a diverse world.

Perhaps as we evolve as a species, binary needs to break down. Perhaps we need more than two major political parties. Maybe we need to find fluidity between two poles, rather than being stuck on one end or the other.

That fluidity can be helpful in navigating the wide set of human experiences. When it comes to separating fact from fiction in our world of fake news and alternative facts, though, fluidity doesn’t seem to serve truth.

One of the greatest of all binaries is true versus false. It also the one to which people are most likely to add artificial fluidity when it serves their agenda.

There are different kinds of truths, too.

There are quantifiable truths, such as how many people attended an event.

There are philosophical truths such as “all people are created equal” which, clearly some do not hold as truth.

There’s the truth of what happened in a particular moment, where each person’s perception colors their version of the event. We see this on a grand scale when we watch the news-as-entertainment cable stations each highlight and present news stories in a way that obviously favors their political leaning.

We all experience things differently, and perceive things differently.

Pete Seeger used say that truth was like a “rabbit in a bramble patch.” You can point at it, you can circle around it, you know it’s in there somewhere, but it’s impossible to get your hands around it’s furry, squirmy body.

That we can’t always identify truth scares some people. Those people often find comfort in dogmatic religions and authoritarian leaders – the very things that suppress the truth by feeding us doctrine.

As a society, we complicate our search for truth by raising our children to confuse myth with fact, training generation after generation to believe the fantastic over the logical.

There is something within us that causes us to long for answers, to feel safe identifying with a group, and to cling to stories that support our beliefs, even if neither the stories nor beliefs reflect actual truth.

In the end, our survival as a species may depend on our ability to move beyond our “us and them” mentality, and to understand that we will never all share the same perspective, and we will never agree on what is true. Yet, we can still find a way to live and work together.

As black and white breaks into the spectrum of rainbow possibilities, there is only one binary set that remains. It’s not the eternal struggle between good and evil – that has always been a false construct based on perspective.

The one binary that becomes defining of our precarious future is love versus fear. These are true opposites.

If we focus on fear, those loose boundaries will terrify us, perhaps, ultimately, to the point of our own extinction.

If we focus on love over fear, we can maybe agree on the important truths, like basic human rights. We can learn to tolerate our differences around the smaller truths, like how we worship and what we value.

Some of us had, at one time, imagined and longed for a future in the crunchy granola world that Marlo Thomas sang about during the 1970s; that land where we were all free to be you and me.

That future vision turned out not to be so one-size-fits-all.

Now, when we look to the future, our vision of utopia needs to be replaced with a new paradigm where we simply get along and respect each other.

Perhaps, If we each strive to love more than we fear, we can end this time of division, and all agree that the bunny is alive and well in the bramble patch. 

Thanks for joining Blog March 2017! Make sure you march along each day this month to see what all the contributors have to say!

An Open Letter to Holy Clothing: Please Rethink Your Word Choice!

Dear Folks at Holy Clothing,

I am sure you know how much we in the tarot, Pagan, artistic and musical communities appreciate you.

We are grateful for your knowledge that beautiful women come in all sizes and ages.

We count on you to provide our ritual regalia, our work uniforms and our stage costumes.

We rely on you for the clothing that allows us to feel like ourselves.

You call yourself “Holy Clothing” because you know that many of us use your garments for spiritual work. Is it wrong then, for me to think that you should hold yourself to the highest possible standards?

My concern, originally, was for your use of the “g-word” in your marketing for the beautiful Talia skirt. When I visited your website, I saw that you use the word “Gypsy” quite frequently to describe your fashions.

In the ad that caught my attention and earned my ire, you encourage us to express our “inner Gypsy”.

In the 1970s, many of us used the g-word to describe people who travel a lot, and people who are free-spirited. There were songs, like Stevie Nicks’ “Gypsy” and Max Creek’s “Gypsy Blue” that made it seem acceptable to use the word “Gypsy” to describe a lifestyle, a fashion choice, or an aesthetic.

I’ve been a fulltime professional tarot reader for the past quarter century. During that time, clients have required me to “dress like a Gypsy”.  This never felt comfortable to me, but the word-Gypsy-as-aesthetic was common in our popular culture. In the 1990s, people looked at me like I had two heads when I suggested to them that we shouldn’t name our spiritual group “Gypsy Grove” because the word “Gypsy” is an ethnic slur.

Eventually, I gave up, embraced my “Gypsy costume” and decided I had been overly sensitive.

Social media allows us to connect with people from all over the world, and to learn about their struggles first-hand. Over the past few years, I have recognized that it was indeed wrong of me to call my costume a “Gypsy costume” rather than a “fortune teller costume”.  I had been right all along to bristle against the use of the g-word, and the idea that “Gypsy” is an aesthetic.

Your use of this word is unintentionally rude and inaccurate. The only people who have an “inner Gypsy” are the Romani, or Roma.  Even then, use of the g-word is problematic.

It’s true that some Roma use the g-word to describe themselves. That puts it in the category of the n-word. There are some words and phrases that can only be spoken by the people whom the word originally maligned. When they speak it, they take their power back.  There is nothing empowering about the way you are using the g-word. Quite the opposite, really.

Please, read some history. Understand how brutally the Roma were treated by Hitler. Learn why the word Gypsy IS an ethnic slur, and IS NOT a description of an aesthetic.

In 2017, when ethnic-based hatred is a revealing itself all over the planet, doesn’t it make sense for us to be extra-special careful with our words?

Don’t we magickal folk understand the power of words on a deep level?

When you ask us to embrace our “inner Gypsy”, what you are really asking us to do is embrace our inner free spirit, our inner hippie, our inner mystic, our inner artist, our inner dancer…

Why not say something like that, instead of using a slur? And, beyond that, there is absolutely nothing about the lovely Talia that is even slightly reminiscent of actual traditional Romani attire.

When you ask us to embrace our “inner Gypsy”, you sound as terrible as if you were asking us to embrace our “inner Jap” or “inner Chink” or “inner Mick” or “inner Spic”.

Why reduce an entire ethnicity to an inaccurate and insulting aesthetic?

The 1970s called, and they want their insensitive language back.

You make beautiful clothing. Couldn’t the words you use to market it be equally lovely?

You pride yourselves in your ethics, and your hand-crafting. Please, let your words match your stated ethical commitments.

Find Yourself in a Magic Mirror!

When I say “magic mirror” you probably think of a smartass talking mirror from a Disney movie.  However, the idea that we can get information from a mirror, or that a mirror can be enchanted, is not just a thing of fantasy.

The “mirror, mirror on the wall” has its origins in ancient magical practices. Today, people all over the world practice mirror magic, with excellent results.

As with any magic that turns a mundane item into a magical tool, the power comes from the Hermetic law “As Above, So Below”. Whatever task that item performs on a mundane level, so it does on a spiritual or energetic level.

So, what does a mirror do?

A mirror reflects.

We see evidence of the magical nature of mirrors in many cultures and practices.

When I was a young girl being initiated into my first Brownie troop, our ceremony involved looking into a mirror as we recited a chant:

“Twist me and turn me and show me the elf, I looked in the mirror and saw myself”.

In that ritual, we used the mirror to find within us the Brownie we were becoming.

Many people use mirror-gazing, or scrying, as a divination method to reflect truth.

A mirror becomes a focus point for concentration and inner reflection in group practices such as dance, and Bikram Yoga.

In Feng Shui, a mirror reflects a noisy neighbor’s disruptive energy back to them.

We can energetically send a psychic mirror to folks in need of enlightenment. This will cause them the painful-but-necessary experience of seeing the truth about themselves that they have been avoiding.

We can also use a mirror to help us heal from self-doubt, uncertainty about our skills, low self-esteem and lack of confidence.

If you are not aware of, and confident in, your skills and abilities, or if you can’t see your own awesomeness, try a magic mirror to help you see your own beauty and value, and to help others see it as well!

You’ll need a small compact or hand mirror. You can use a treasured heirloom, a cheap mirror from Walmart, or a leftover mirror that came with makeup.

If you like, you can decorate your mirror with symbols that resonate for you, and represent you.

To begin, you must “charge”” your mirror. Other words to describe this process include “enchant” or “dedicate”.

You can do the charging ritual as formally or as casually as you like. If you choose to perform a formal ceremony to charge your mirror, choose candles, incense and colors that support self-esteem, self-love, personal enlightenment and general success.

The core of the ritual, and the only truly necessary part, is that you must write a dedication for your mirror, and speak the dedication as you hold your mirror.

Your words will charge the mirror with your intention. Your intention is to look into the mirror and see within it your skills, your talents, your beauty, your connection to Spirit and your purpose on the planet.

Your words can be simple or elegant. You may write a rhyming dedication if you like. What is important is that you clearly state, see and feel your intention.

Here is a rhyming dedication, or incantation, you can use if you like.

I charge this mirror with an awesome task
To without delay do as I ask.
When I gaze, allow me to see
All that is valuable within me.

Once you have charged you mirror, you may use it in meditation whenever you feel the need for a confidence boost. Use you mirror to help you find the courage to pursue your dreams and desires.

Simply sit quietly and breathe. Ground yourself to the earth, and set your intention in your mind.

Now gaze into the mirror, and quiet your mind.

Focus on your breathing, and allow your gaze to soften as you continue to stare into the mirror.

What thoughts or inspirations come to you?

What do you see about yourself that you didn’t see before?

As you gaze into the mirror in a meditative state you may ask questions about your life, your journey toward self-acceptance and success. Wait for the answers to present themselves to your heart.

Let your magic mirror help you see what is special, unique and precious about you!

Uncommon Business Advice: Let Your Niche Find You!

“I can’t succeed in my business until I find my niche!”

How often I’ve heard that statement from talented but frustrated entrepreneurs.

Often, these hardworking hopefuls have paid huge money to “business coaches” to help them find this elusive niche.

So, let’s talk about the niche. First of all, it’s pronounced neesh, not nitch. There is no such thing as finding your “nitch”.

Merriam-Webster defines “niche” as a place, employment, status or activity for which a person or thing is best fitted.

In business, the “market niche” is the small, profitable segment of the public that you specifically target.

Niche marketing goes way beyond the study and understanding of demographics. Niche marketing advises us to narrow our services, and our demographics, so we are not trying to be all things to all people.

That makes sense, and in many cases, is really good advice for a lot of reasons.

However, with some careers, like mine, it doesn’t necessarily hold true.

My greatest success has come from casting my net wide, and seeing what happens. For instance, I didn’t set out to be a reader and mentor for other professional readers, but a publisher asked me to write a book of lessons from my lengthy fulltime tarot career. Suddenly, I had found a niche as a mentor, that I didn’t expect or chose, but enjoy very much.

Early in my career, I was the go-to tarot entertainer for the local LGBT community. That was because I happened to land a great gig in a gay bar. I love reading for drag queens in the club environment, and I love being a trusted, supportive consultant to those who have not always received the support they need.

Those were two niches that found me, and there have been many others.

Before you pay a business coach to help you find your niche, think about what you might need to do to let your niche find you.

It can simply be that we find our niche by avoiding certain types of work that we don’t enjoy, and pursuing the gigs we like.

I think, too, over time, our niche can change, as our needs change.

Sometimes, it feels that a niche is more like branding, like a tarot reader only doing relationship readings, or a counselor only working with children.

Finding your niche can mean finding a place where you a truly comfortable and happy. Looking for your niche can be frustrating and disheartening.

If your niche isn’t obvious, maybe it doesn’t need to be. Cast you net wide, and see what happens. Don’t let an inability to narrow your services or demographics keep you from hanging your shingle.

Dating as a Shopping Experience: How Online Dating Can Make It Hard to Build Relationships

I’ve been lucky to be married to the same partner since before internet dating was a thing, so I've never built a dating profile, or been stood up for a coffee date.

I do know some things about internet dating, though. My job as a professional tarot reader over the past quarter-century has given me an interesting perspective.

In a world where it has always been easy to feel isolated, the ability to meet new people is definitely a good thing, although I'm not sure most people actually enjoy online dating, After all, maintaining a dating profile can feel like a second, arduous job.  Nonetheless, the internet dating success stories out there are enough to to keep single people winking and swiping, and sprucing their profiles.

I believe internet dating is basically a good tool to help people meet each other. Ideally, it weeds out people who are obviously incompatible, and lets you see how well a person communicates in written language. On a spiritual level, it tells the Universe you’re serious about meeting someone.

As online dating has become the norm, rather than something to giggle about behind closed doors, I have to admit I have seen some disturbing shifts in our overall culture of dating and relationships. 

We are all used to the convenience of online shopping, and the ease of returning an item that arrives less than perfect, or different than desired. When we purchase something, we don’t want to make do with it if it is not exactly right, and perfect in every way.

With online dating, we choose from a catalog of people. What if swiping right and left on dating profiles plays into our desire to purchase the perfect item, rather than to meet an interesting person? Can we ever be happy with the person we’ve chosen, if we’ve been trained to view them as a product, or a commodity, rather than an actual human being? What if there is a better model available on the next screen?

If, when we meet for the first time, the person we’ve chosen is a little shorter, fatter or poorer than their profile reflected, our shopper genes may kick in to say “This is not the relationship I ordered”, and we easily move back to the catalog to start again.

Worse, when we start to think about eligible people as commodity, and dating as shopping, we may mistake the common irritations in any relationship for deal breakers.

That profile matching avoids anyone who does not share our interests or possess our favorite characteristics may cause us to miss that inspirational moment when we fall in love with exactly the person we thought we never would. Sometimes, chance makes room for magic when it comes to love. I’m not sure the precision of internet dating always leaves room for that chance.

Most couples who meet online spend a good deal of time in conversation, sometimes even falling in love, before they actually ever meet in person. This can offer a false sense of intimacy and compatibility that can make building a normal, healthy relationship a bit tricky.

The very nature of the dating profile assures that our first introduction to our potential partner will be somewhat tainted by dishonesty. It’s not that everyone lies on their profile. It’s that everyone paints a very limited picture of themselves.

That limited picture, and the phone marathons that lead up to that initial meeting, may cause us to fall in love with a profile, rather than a person.

Overall, internet dating may be the single best way to be proactive about finding love.  Still, it’s important that in our desire to shortcut the traditional introduction process, we don’t change the human courtship ritual to the point that we no longer know how to have meaningful relationships.

Perhaps most importantly, we need to remember the difference between ordering a product and meeting a partner.