Keep Trying or Walk Away?

Keep Trying or Walk Away?

In the face of failure, what will your next step be?

Failure is hard to handle. Very often, though, when we fail at something, or when it feels like something isn’t working the way we had hoped, we are faced with an important decision.

Should I keep trying, or is it time to walk away?

There is not a universal answer to this difficult question; each situation is different.

When we fail, we often wonder if the universe is trying to tell us that we have chosen the wrong pursuit, and that this is a sign to pick a new direction.

There is a belief amongst many in the spiritual community that if we are on our correct path, everything will fall into place easily. Sometimes that may be true, but sometimes I think the universe wants us to fight for what we want, or to learn from our struggles along the way.

Sometimes it’s best not to spiritualize our process, but instead to simply make a decision about what we want our next step to be. It’s hard to make that decision when we are feeling sad or shamed about our failure.

Here’s an example of someone who kept trying and won. I have a friend who needed to pass a test in order to receive a professional certification. She took the test several times, failed and stopped trying. Eventually, she gathered her courage and tried again. On her seventh attempt she passed her test! That’s a true testament to the idea that if we keep trying, we can ultimately succeed.

On the other hand, sometimes we end up feeling like we’ve wasted a lot of time and effort. There is a certain nobility in the idea of never giving up, and sometimes that nobility is well-placed. Sometimes it’s not. I have seen many people struggle to keep unhealthy relationships together because they don’t want to give up on the relationship, when, in fact, giving up is the only sane thing to do.

How can you decide when it’s time to keep trying, or when it’s time to walk away? You’ll find a divination technique later in this newsletter. Beyond divination, there are some logical points to consider in this process.

Of course, we prefer it when we can check in with our intuition and feel our spiritual guidance. Yet, sometimes when we are confused and stressed, guidance doesn’t seem clear. With or without a sense of spiritual guidance and purpose, logic is always an important tool to employ.

The first question to ask yourself is about the cost of trying again. If you are trying to fix an abusive relationship, that cost might be too high. If you are trying to win a competition or pass a test, the cost in time, effort and money might be completely acceptable.

The second thing you must ask is about your skill level. Do you have reason to believe that you have what it takes to hit your mark? In the case of my friend who passed her test on the seventh try, she had good evidence that she had the skill because she had passed a similar test previously.

The third thing you must consider is this. How badly do you want it? Do you really want to achieve this goal? Are you doing it because you want to please someone else? Are you trying to fit into a narrative that doesn’t fit you? Do you have a clear understanding of what this success would actually mean for you?

By asking these questions, and answering them honestly, you can move yourself closer to coming to the decision that will serve you best.

Psychic Gallery Tonight!

join me tonight, Wednesday, July 17 at 7 pm, for a very special evening. I will be presenting a psychic gallery in a small, intimate setting at the Center for Inner Wisdom, 4849 N Dixie Hwy, Suite 2, Oakland Park, Florida 33334.

I love doing psychic galleries because the energy of sacred space, and the energy of a group united for a single purpose, creates the perfect environment in which to receive powerful messages.

In this gallery, every person who attends will receive a reading that offers pertinent information and insight. You may even receive a message from a loved one in spirit!

Group members will hold space and support each other. Everyone will benefit from hearing and witnessing every message.

Ticket price is $30, seating is limited. You can register online now!

 Decision-Making Divination

I have a very simple decision-making tarot technique which I think could be used with any oracle deck. Simply consider your options and pull one card for each option. Sometimes I like to add a card to represent options I haven’t yet considered.

Sometimes when you look at the cards the answer will be immediately clear. Sometimes the cards will give an answer that suggests either path will work out fine. Sometimes you might want more information. Then, pull another card for each option and see how those cards gives clarity.

Often you will find yourself in the process of weighing one card against the other. Which card has a stronger message? Which card fits more clearly with the situation at hand?

Beyond the messages you will receive from the cards, the value of working this process in a meditative way is that it will cause you to calm down and consider things in a different light. Very often, from this process, your answer will finally become clear.

In the case of this week’s topic, you might ask, with the first card, “What happens if I try again?” With the second card, you might ask, “What happens if I walk away?”

See Me in the Tampa Bay Area This Weekend!

I will be in the Tampa Bay Area Friday, July 19 through Monday, July 22. I still have a few openings for house calls this coming Friday and Saturday, as well as Monday morning. Please call or text 561-655-1160 if you would like to schedule to have an in-person reading with me.

On Sunday, July 21, we will have our Tarot Meetup at Panera Bread in Lutz, from 3 pm to 5 pm. Join us there for tarot study and fellowship!

 The Week in Review

I am now selling a large assortment of tarot (and a few favorite oracle) decks in my Palm City office and on my website. Here is a description of how I energetically prepare the decks for you, and instructions on the traditional ways to dedicate your new deck.

This week I shared a post about why we shouldn’t fear our tarot cards. You might get a paper cut, but other than that, the practice of tarot reading is completely safe.

Did you catch my Three-Card Reading for the week on Monday? If you missed it, find it in archive on my YouTube Channel, and hit subscribe while you are there.

I’m featured on the Psychic Talk Radio Network with a tip for fellow readers, in a segment called “Rx for Readers…Tips for Self-Care”. You can see my tip here.

From Around the Web

Have you ever noticed that people will stubbornly cling to an opinion, even when presented with facts that prove their opinion wrong? Here’s an article that explains why that happens.

The very talented and generous Benebell Wen has created a new oracle and made it available for download for free! Get your Chinese Oracle Bone Divination Cards!

Here’s an opportunity to learn about and support an interesting and unique divination deck on Kickstarter.

Image from Spiral Tarot by Kay Steventon, published by US Games,copyright 1997. Used with permission.

Cards for Your Consideration

In keeping with our topic this week, I would like you to consider the Two of Swords from Spiral Tarot by Kay Steventon.

Spiral Tarot follows the Waite tradition fairly closely. Much like the Waite Two of Swords, we see the woman is blindfolded, and has crossed off her heart. In this image, though, she is also balancing on a tightrope. For me, the tightrope is a great addition to the symbolism of this card, representing the delicate balance that we must strike when we make important decisions.

The suit of Swords is associated with the element of Air, which is about the powers of the mind. Two is the number of balance and decisions. The blindfold suggests that she must look within and trust her own processes to keep her balance and make her decision. That she has crossed off her heart suggests that she must make this decision without the interference of emotion.

When you see this card in a reading, consider that there may be a need to weigh your options carefully. Do not be swayed by the opinions of others, nor by your own emotions. Look within for guidance.

You can order your own Spiral Tarot directly from my website. This is one of my favorite decks of all time!

Upcoming Events and Tour Dates

Tarot Topics Newsletter
Volume 2 Issue 29
July 17, 2019

Compassionate Detachment

Compassionate Detachment

We all need boundaries.

Years ago, I coined the term “compassionate detachment” to describe the state of mind that a good tarot reader must maintain in order to access intuition, help people, and stay healthy. Over time I have come to realize that this state of mind is actually necessary for everyone, not only those who work closely with others, or who engage in the psychic arts.

Getting to the mental space of compassionate detachment isn’t easy. You have to start from a place of compassion for all people.

Let that sink in for a moment; that’s ALL people. That’s not just people you like, or people who are kind to you, or people who act in a way that pleases you, or people who believe what you believe, or people who haven’t hurt you; that’s everybody.

The easiest way for me to get to that state of mind isn’t by being logical or rational, it’s by focusing on my heart chakra and sending my breath there. It’s a meditative process. Try this exercise so you can see what I mean.

Focus on your breathing. Make your breath as full and as deep as possible. Then, turn your attention, and with it, your breath, to your heart. Picture that you are breathing directly into your heart. With each inhalation, as your chest expands with air, feel your heart expand with love. Imagine that your heart is growing bigger and bigger, just like the Grinch’s heart does in How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

With each exhalation, release the anger, fear and hurt that has built up in your heart.

Then, as you breathe in, focus on holding compassion for all people. Understand that hurt people hurt people, and that those who have hurt you, and those who have hurt the people you love, and those who make decisions with which you do not agree, may be acting out of their own lack of love.

As you breathe in, feel gratitude for your own capacity to love. Recognize that you have enough love in your heart to share with those who haven’t enough.

Now, as you exhale, release your need to care about, or control, what happens next, in your life, and in the lives of those you care about.

Wait, doesn’t that sound like a contradiction?

Of course, we need to care about ourselves, and about others. Of course, we need to be engaged in our future, and the future of our planet. But for this one moment, release your need to care and control. Breathe in love, and as you breathe out, release your attachments. Recognize that you can pray, hope and wish for good things, without being attached to the outcome. Know that in this one moment, all that matters is your breath, and your ability to hold love for all.

As you breathe, come to a place where you can trust that whatever happens, the world will continue to turn. Come to a place where you can trust yourself, no matter what happens.

Now, affirm your right to say no to whatever doesn’t feel good and right to you. As you breathe in, feel your own power to make decisions for yourself. As you breathe out, release any attachment to the opinions of other people. As you exhale, let your breath surround you to create around your energy field a boundary of safety and protection.

It is from this loving, detached, protected place that we are best able to help others, and to help ourselves.

Boundaries are super important. So many of us feel guilty when we say no. Yet, we feel even worse when we let people walk all over us. It is impossible to be a compassionate person without maintaining healthy boundaries.

When someone tries to make you feel guilty, hold them in compassion, detach from your desire to please them, and keep your boundaries firm. Forgive people for their manipulation, but, at the same time, don’t let yourself be manipulated. Recognize that your boundaries serve not only to make you safe, but also to make safe the very people who try to push past them. When you stop another person from hurting you, you are helping them as much as you are helping yourself.

Practice this meditative breathing exercise and remember to use compassionate detachment in your interactions with people. This will make you more effective, healthier and happier, no matter the nature of your relationships with others.

Mercury Retrograde in Leo and Cancer

This summer’s Mercury retrograde is from July 7 through August 2. Its shadow is felt for two weeks prior, and two weeks after. Each Mercury retrograde is different, and this one has some particularly interesting qualities. We will experience its energies playing out nationally and internationally as the drama of Leo collides with the sensitivity of Cancer, while Mercury retrograde’s tendency for miscommunication could reflect many of us feeling thrown into a righteous tizzy over small things that seem to take on an overblown sense of importance. The emotionally charged reactions to a Disney movie, and the misremembered history that made airports central to revolutionary war strategy give us a small taste of what could be in store for us over the next few weeks.

I’ll leave politics, arts, and culture to the pundits. My job during this summer’s Mercury Retrograde is to help you make the most of the opportunity this time affords you. This particular Mercury retrograde is a time to heal your heart, soothe your soul, and remember who you are. This summer, you can learn to use your energy where you can be most effective, release unnecessary drama and emotional attachments from your life, and harness your creativity in a way that will bring you lasting success and satisfaction.

I’ve developed a special tarot session at a special price to help you work with the unique energies available during this Mercury Retrograde. Your Summer 2019 Mercury Retrograde session is a half hour in length, and available at the discounted price of $50. During this time, we will work together to help you remember who you are and what is important to you, reclaim your creativity, release your attachments and motivate you to move forward on your important projects.

A Mercury Retrograde session with me is only available July 7 through August 2. Don’t miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for healing and insight! Call or text 561-655-1160 to book yours!

Compassionate Detachment Tarot Spread

Here is a spread you can try with your tarot deck, or any other oracle, to help you get to your place of compassionate detachment.

You can arrange the cards in any pattern that feels good to you.

Card 1: My current ability (or resistance) to have compassion for myself.

Card 2: My current ability (or resistance) to have compassion for others.

Card 3: What I need to know or do to cultivate more compassion for myself and others.

Card 4: What I need to know or do to help me release my attachment to the actions of others.

Card 5: What I need to know to help me release my attachment to outcome.

Card 6: My natural ability to hold healthy boundaries.

Card 7: What I need to do to hold and maintain proper boundaries.

Psychic Gallery at Center for Inner Wisdom

On Wednesday, July 17, 7 pm to 9 pm, please join me for a very special evening. I will be presenting a psychic gallery in a small, intimate setting at the Center for Inner Wisdom, 4849 N Dixie Hwy, Suite 2, Oakland Park, Florida 33334.

I love doing psychic galleries because the energy of sacred space, and the energy of a group united for a single purpose, creates the perfect environment in which to receive powerful messages.

In this gallery, every person who attends will receive a reading that offers pertinent information and insight. You may even receive a message from a loved one in spirit!

Group members will hold space and support each other. Everyone will benefit from hearing and witnessing every message.

Ticket price is $30, seating is limited. You can register online now!

The Week in Review

This week I was happy to review a really interesting new tarot book, Tarot for Troubled Times, by Shaheen Miro and Theresa Reed. You can read the review on my website.

If you missed my Three-Card Weekly Reading on Facebook Live this week, you can catch the archive on my YouTube channel.

From Around the Web

Brene Brown has a lot to say about boundaries. Check out this video, any many more of her wise words on YouTube.

Fake positivity is dangerous and gets in the way of true healing! Spiritual bypass is a tricky way to deny your issues and avoid the healing you need to do.

This article uses different words to describe compassionate detachment, but the ideas are the same. Check out these 10 Rules for Reading Tarot for a Friend.

Cards for Your Consideration

This week let’s consider some alternative meanings for two cards. Both of these alternative meanings have become operative in my reading practice. Once I saw these possibilities for these cards, I couldn’t unsee them.

The first is Major Arcana Eight, Strength. Typically pictured as a woman and a lion, we often see this card as affirmation of our own strength to bear what we must and do what we need to do. This can be a card of tempering our wild nature, and that is where my preferred meaning comes in to play. The woman has tamed the lion not with brute force, but with love. Because of this, one of my favorite keywords for Strength is compassion. We must have the strength that the woman has, to recognize the lion’s wild nature, and not fear it. We must recognize our own inner lion, yet when that lion wants to roar, we very often must subdue its angry nature, and instead respond with gentleness.

The second card is the Four of Pentacles. Widely known as the card of the miser, this is often interpreted as selfishness, or a need for frugality. Very often, though, the Four of Pentacles can instruct us to be self-full, and to keep good boundaries. Many times, this card figures prominently in readings for people who come from families with poor boundaries. This card advises us to keep healthy boundaries without guilty or regret.

The next time you see these cards in a reading, consider if these interpretations might add value to your reading!

Upcoming Events and Tour Dates

Tarot Topics Newsletter
Volume 2 Issue 28
July 10, 2019

There Is No Failure

There Is No Failure

Lessons on the Way to Success

How we handle ourselves when things don’t go our way says a lot about our character. It’s also very predictive of what is likely to happen next.

If we blame others, we are likely to not make the self-corrections needed to create a win in the future.

If we blame ourselves, we are likely to stay in a place of low self-esteem rather than rising to meet our goals at the next opportunity.

No one likes to lose. No one enjoys failure. Yet, on the way to achieving our goals it is inevitable that we will make some mistakes, and that not everything will go the way we want.

Very often people decide not to even try to set goals for what they truly want because they fear the possibility of failure so much.

Many people have childhood trauma based on the way their parents, teachers or peers dealt with their academic, social or athletic losses. These childhood losses, and the scars they leave, very often determine how willing we are to take risks and fight for our success in adulthood.

I think the best way to process failure is to decide that failure doesn’t really exist. In the absence of success there is the opportunity to learn in order to create future success. Alternatively, sometimes when we fail at something, we can take it as an opportunity to make a different choice. If we fail an important test, it might mean that we need to redouble our efforts, study harder and pass it next time. Or, it might mean that we are better suited to take a different path. In either case, we can see that failure as a win because it moves us closer to finding our path and achieving our goals.

Sometimes we deal with people in our families and at work who make us feel like a loser. Sometimes we do this to ourselves with negative self-talk. Yet, our language is full of expressions that remind us that we can’t always expect a win.

“You can’t win them all!”

“You win some, you lose some.”

“It’s not who wins or loses, it’s how you play the game.”

Whether we are thinking about sports, business or politics, our culture is often focused on winning, and on valuing competition over cooperation. Yet, very often, when we cooperate with each other, everyone has an opportunity for success.

The best way to create success for all is to consider that our personal wins do not necessarily mean besting another, they mean doing our personal best. When we fail to meet our mark, rather than feeling badly about the loss, we need to discover what we have learned, and use that to move us forward, toward our future success.

See Me in the Tampa Bay Area!

I will be back in the Tampa Bay Area July 19 through 22. I will be available for house calls and parties while I am there. As usual when I visit the area, we will have a Tarot Meetup! Join us Sunday, July 21, at 3 pm at the Panera Bread in Lutz.

Please reach at to me at 561-655-1160 to schedule your in-person reading, and make plans to join us for our free informal tarot workshop at Panera!

Divination to Find the Win

The term ‘FTW’ often means ‘For the Win’ in gaming. Here, we will use it to mean ‘Find the Win’, because that is the best way to process something that feels like failure.

When something doesn’t go your way, the best thing to do is to consider what positive things you can take away from the experience.

What did you learn?

How did this experience help you?

What caused things not to go your way, and what can you learn from that?

How can you mitigate problems that come from your less-than-desirable results?

These are questions you can ask yourself in reflection and meditation, but also in divination.

Simply shuffle your tarot or oracle cards and pull one card to answer each of these questions.

Consider if there are other questions you want to know about what happened, how you can process it and what comes next. Pull a card for each of these questions.

Continue this process until you have found a way to frame your experience that is helpful instead of hurtful.

Use this process to find the win anytime you have an undesirable outcome. This way, you will spend less time mourning your losses, and more time getting yourself on track!

The Week in Review

This week I shared a post about reading for people who are not present. In the tarot world we call this ‘third-party reading’. There are many ethical considerations when doing these sorts of readings. In this post I share my personal ethics and ideas about this thorny issue.

If you missed my Three-Card Reading for the week on Facebook Live, you can find it in archive on YouTube.

From Around the Web

T. Susan Chang is exploring astrology and tarot in her blog. It’s definitely worth reading her posts to help understand the way astrology associates with the tarot cards.

The Tarot Blog Hop happened on the Summer Solstice. Here is the Master List. You can follow the links to see what eleven tarotists had to say about handling timing with tarot.

Here is one tarotist’s take on cards of success and failure.

Cards for Your Consideration

There are many cards in tarot that can speak of competition, wins and losses. My three favorites are the Five of Swords, the Five of Wands and the Six of Wands.

In the Five of Swords we see an unavoidable battle. There will definitely be a winner and a loser. Very often I see this card as a warning to gird your loins, rise to the battle and fight to win.

When reversed or ill-dignified, there is a sense of cooperation, diplomacy and negotiation.

The Five of Wands shows a conflict that might be playful, or creative, or acrimonious, depending on the situation. It may be that too many cooks are spoiling the meal, or that we have too many ideas on how to proceed.

When reversed or ill-dignified, we may be avoiding a necessary conflict.

In the Six of Swords we see a hero riding home from battle, victorious. To me, this card predicts success, and urges us to believe in our own possibilities for achievement. This card can speak to the positive side of a competitive nature.

When reversed or ill-dignified, there is a feeling of not winning. Sometimes, when I see this card reversed, it seems like my client is feeling like a loser.

In which cards do you see winning, losing and competition?

Upcoming Events and Tours

Tarot Topics Newsletter
Volume 2 Issue 27
July 3, 2019

Past, Present and Future

Past, Present and Future

Our Personal Timeline

There is a traditional three-card tarot spread where the first card represents the past, the second card represents the present and the third card represents the future. We’ll talk more about the tarot spread and how to use it later in this newsletter. These three words are often used together to advertise psychics who want to give you information about all aspects of your life, the past, the present and the future.

Even outside of the world of oracles, there is a great deal of focus on dealing with the past, living in the present, and looking to the future.

Very often, the things that happened in the past seem to affect our present in ways that don’t serve us. It’s also true that we are taught to worry about the future and plan for the future in ways that sometimes make the present seem less important than the mythical future we are working toward.

Sometimes we get stuck in the past, feeling a longing for days gone by, or regret for something that we can’t find a way to make right.

It’s interesting to consider how the past influences the future. Anxiety comes from worrying about what might happen in the future. Sometimes remembering our past successes can quell our fears for the future. Sometimes the opposite is true. Past trauma can cause us to live in fear, thinking the same things might happen again.

There are ways in which the past might predict the future, but other ways in which it is better to think that it can’t and won’t.

The recent trend toward mindfulness teaches us to live in the present moment; not looking ahead to the future, and not staying stuck in the past. This is a good practice, to a point.

The truth is that the past is always with us, and we have some ability to try to take control of our future by thinking about what we want to manifest and taking those steps.

I think truly successful people learn from the past, enjoy the present and look forward to the future, all at the same time. Keeping that balance can feel like mental gymnastics, but the results are always worth it.

Back in Palm City!

My June 2019 Northeastern Tour is over, and I am back in my Palm City office. Thanks to everyone who had parties, came to workshops and had private readings with me. Once again, thanks to True Bikram Yoga for hosting me.

I’ll be back on tour in the Northeast in August. In July I will spend a little time in the Tampa Bay area, as well as in Fort Lauderdale.

I miss my office when I travel and am happy to be back for a few weeks. Make an appointment to see me while I am here!

How to Make the Past, Present, Future Spread Work for You

Whether working with tarot, runes or any oracle deck, the three-card Past, Present, Future spread is one of the first we learn.

Often, I see newer readers employ this spread with poor results. This is usually because the spread doesn’t fit the question. If, for example, you are wondering about a new relationship, there is no ‘past’ to see.

If you want to use this spread, make sure you phrase your question in a way that utilizes the timeline of your life. With the example of the new relationship, the question should instead be about love relationships in general. Then, we can see what was in the past, what is now, and what may be in the future.

Another confusing aspect about this spread is that it’s hard to sum up one’s past in only one card. The same can be true about the present and the future. Phrase your question and set your intention so that the card reflects some important component of each time frame that is pertinent to your question.

When you perform your reading, it is helpful if you use the names of the positions aloud. Say, “In the past, this is what was true. Now, I am experience this. In the future, I must be prepared for this”. Put the three cards together to tell a story.

Finally, remember that the ‘Future’ card might be a prediction, or it might speak to an energy that will be available to you, or something you should work to either manifest or avoid.

When used thoughtfully, the Past, Present, Future spread can help us understand our past, manage our present and manifest our future.

The Week in Review

This week I shared a tarot exercise that I used in my presentation for Tarot Tuesday at the Book and Bead Outlet on June 4.

Did you catch my Three-Card Weekly Reading for this week? I do this every Monday on my Facebook business page, Christiana Gaudet. You can find it in archive on YouTube.

From Around the Web

StarCat Tarot has shared a post about my favorite card, the Eight of Cups.

On Tarot Awakenings, you can read a comparison between the Four of Wands and a Beatles song!

Here’s an interesting article on Using Tarot to Work Through Trauma.

Cards for Your Consideration

This week I would like you to consider some cards that can speak to your timeline, and about time in general.

The Six of Cups can be a card of looking to the past, longing for the past or processing the past.

The Two of Wands can invite you to consider what you would like to manifest for the future.

The Four of Cups can ask you to consider if your present is what you want it to be, and, if not, what you might like to do differently.

Every tarot card can speak about any moment in time. Some of the cards have a particular relationship with time. The Hermit, Temperance, and the Nine of Wands can all ask us to be patient. The Knight of Pentacles can suggest things will move slowly. The Knight of Swords, and the Eight of Wands, suggest swift motion.

Whenever you work with the cards, consider if they might be speaking about issues regarding your past, present or future, or your relationship with time.

Upcoming Events and Tour Dates

Tarot Topics Newsletter
Volume 2 Issue 26
June 26, 2019