Spiritual Bypassing at the Tarot Table

Over the past few months I have found myself thinking about spiritual bypassing more and more. I wasn’t sure why this concept was floating into my field of attention so strongly until I started doing a little research. In an article in Psychology Today I found a list of signs that a person is engaged in spiritual bypassing. The list included an item that drew my attention, ‘engaging in cognitive dissonance’.

Watching people around me embrace obvious conspiracy theories, and watching others give spiritual explanations for their world views which, to me, logically don’t add up, I see an alarming trend.

Spiritual bypassing is something that most people will do at certain points in their lives, and it is not always harmful. Sometimes it is a necessary part of healing and growth. It is only when spiritual bypassing becomes the ongoing default behavior that it becomes potentially problematic.

Spiritual bypassing is a natural reaction to trauma. Right now, most of our nations and all of our planet seems to be suffering from deep trauma. This trauma is caused by a confluence of things, a perfect storm, if you will. We have pandemic, social media, economic turmoil, and the rise of fundamentalism in both Islam and Christianity which is directly in conflict with the rising demand for equality for all.

It occurs to me that, just as individuals may engage in spiritual bypassing as a response to personal trauma, societies will engage in spiritual bypassing as a result of national trauma, and global trauma.

‘Spiritual bypassing’ is a term that was first coined by a prominent Buddhist psychotherapist and author named John Welwood in the 1980s. It’s a term I have become aware of relatively recently, but a phenomenon I have noticed all of my life. It’s good to have a solid term to use to describe a disturbing but hard-to-nail-down series of human behaviors.

Spiritual bypassing is the cause of toxic positivity. Spiritual bypassing is at the root of dangerous philosophies such as ‘Prosperity Gospel’ and over-the-top misunderstanding of the Law of Attraction. These belief systems excuse adherents from the burden of compassion by blaming the sick for their illness, and the poor for their poverty.

In short, spiritual bypassing allows people to feel insulated from misfortune based on their spiritual beliefs and practices. Spiritual bypassing allows people to feel comfort from spiritual practices without truly acknowledging and healing their wounds. Spiritual bypassing serves as an escape from the actual work of healing, and from the actual truth of vulnerability.

Tarotists can be doubly at risk for the effects of spiritual bypassing because we ourselves can fall victim to it, and we can see it in our clients at the tarot table.

Just as religious fundamentalists are inherently involved in spiritual bypassing, so are tarot fundamentalists. Tarot fundamentalists are those who cannot question what they think they saw in the cards, or what they think they were told in a reading.

We tarotists can fall prey to spiritual bypassing when the cards tell us everything will be okay, and so we neglect to do the mundane work we need to do to make everything okay.

Amongst we tarot readers are those who do a lot of predictive reading, and those who don’t. I am a predictive reader. Yet, I am clear in my own mind, and clear to tell my clients, that the future is never written in stone, and that what we do today matters a great deal in what happens tomorrow. When we forget that fact, we give up our power in life, and begin to engage in spiritual bypassing,

I believe that tarot, and that all spiritual practice, is meant to empower us to heal, to help others, and to live well upon the planet. I also know that to do those things is hard work. Our spiritual practice, whatever it may be, must encourage that work, rather than excuse us from it.

In these difficult times, now more than ever, we must be aware of the human tendency to use spirituality as an escape from reality, and an avoidance of truth. Surrounding ourselves with spiritual thought and activity is only helpful if it encourages us to do the work we need to do, and to accept the ultimate truth that we are all at risk for sudden misfortune.

When we see our clients and friends engaged in spiritual bypassing, we need to assess their readiness to be gently prodded toward a more productive healing path. As tarot readers we often have to walk the delicate balance of meeting people where they are without corroborating their unhelpful beliefs.

In this time of great and overwhelming trauma and cognitive dissonance we have a responsibility to use our tools to keep our grounding, and to help others do the same. The Four Elements which figure so prominently in tarot are a helpful reminder, and a helpful tool, in doing that.

The element of Air reminds us to seek the logical truth and avoid that which masquerades as truth.

The element of Fire reminds us to stay active and motivated in the pursuit of our goals, rather than waiting for good things to simply happen to us.

The element of Water reminds us to stay in a place of compassion, and to hold space for our own grief, and the grief of others.

The element of Earth reminds us to stay grounded, proactive, and practical in our thoughts and actions.

Tarot in My Life: New Growth & Celebrations

I had been confused for several months with regard to a series of emotional lows. Was it hormones? Was I homesick? Was I just sick and tired of apartment life and boat work? There were a few days last spring when I didn’t even get out of bed. I tried my best to not let the ebb and flow of my emotions keep me down.  Skype calls with my parents and other family members did wonders to boost my spirits, a regular dose of morning yoga was just the medicine I needed for my mood swings, and a day at the beach took my mind off of the boat yard and our myriad of projects.

“The crisis has passed, your work has produced good results and something good is on the way. Your talents and sensitivity lie hidden just beneath the surface - allow your metaphysical interests to develop.”*

During that time, my dreams were full of interesting symbolism around birth and celebrations.

In one dream, on my way to a family celebration, I stopped by a quarry where a toddler was playing precariously close to the rocky ledge. Suddenly, she fell into the cold murky water. I tried and tried to reach her and when I did, she was no longer breathing. I tried to resuscitate her to no avail. She was gone. Still, in the dream, I attended the celebration where I was greeted by my mother and aunts, sisters and female cousins and to my surprise no one blamed me for the death of the baby.

When I awoke the next morning thinking about the dream, it occurred to me that the baby was actually me!

“Open your heart – deep fulfillment is realized through love - give and receive it. Love is a relationship – share your ideas, your touch, your projects and your growth.”

The raw and sometimes rough emotions that overtook me during that time, I now realize, were actually giving birth to a new chapter in my life as I journey through my 50’s. This chapter, although, still being developed, is re-awakening my body, mind and spirit on a path toward recognizing more fully the abundance of the gifts of the universe – especially the gifts of appreciating the time I am gifted with to experience and cherish the love of family and friends, old and new.   

“Follow your heart and you will know joy, your hopes will be complete and there will be a happy conclusion.

I found my new chapter in tarot’s Three of Cups. This card is not only about celebrations, love, joy, exuberance, and happy times with loved ones, friends, and sometimes, especially woman friends, but it is also about new growth, birth, and giving and receiving in the circle of life. It is about “the beginning of a new lifestyle and the commencement of a love which is mutual.”

We are living aboard again. The best part of this life is meeting new friends, catching up with old friends, creating new bonds with sister sailors, happy hours by the sea, and music jam sessions on the docks. The best part of seeing my family on my annual visit to the states is just “being” in their lives and making the most of our limited time together. My lesson in this new chapter, I believe, is to learn how to be at peace with my chosen life path, while celebrating its lessons of give and take.

The traditional tarot card images in the Three of Cups (of three women intertwined, dancing joyfully) remind me of the feelings of sisterhood, jubilation and exuberance in my college sorority when we would sing a song called “The Loving Cup”…

We'll pass the loving cup around

We won't pass a sister by

We all drink from the same old cup,

In dear old AOII.

Oh you and I shall never grow old

While this fair cup is nigh.

Here's health, here's wealth,

Here's life, here's love......

In Alpha Omicron Pi   

Here’s to the abundance of friendship found in the celebrations of life. Here’s to the new paths on our journey in life and the abundance found in new growth along the way. Here’s to the Three of Cups! Cheers!

*All quotes from the Three of Cups, Crystal Clear Reflections Tarot Divinations at http://crystal-reflections.com/tarot3/

Linda and her life partner, Chris, have been traveling and living in the Caribbean for three years, on their sailboat, Troubadour. Read about their journey at http://sailingtroubadour.blogspot.com/