No Fries with That

Recently I have been doing some traveling. That means rest stops at America’s favorite fast food restaurants. I don’t generally eat the food, but I can’t help noticing the terribly unappetizing marketing techniques. As if the food weren’t bad enough!

We all remember the McDonald’s billboard campaign from a few years back. A man looked longingly at a Big Mac. The caption read “I’d Hit That!”

Apparently no one told the advertiser that the term “hit” in that context is sexual. So, for a short time, America was treated to the image of a man who wanted to have sex with a sandwich.

Now, McDonald’s has unveiled two aptly-named new products. First we have the McWrap. Go ahead, say the word “McWrap.” There is no way you can say it without having it sound like “McCrap.” Which is, in the end, what it really is.

Or, if you enjoy seafood-like substances, you could try the new “McBites.” I am sure that they do, in fact, bite.

If McDonald’s is just too McCrappy for you, you might enjoy KFC. Their new ad campaign is for a new boneless product. The tagline is “I ate the bones.”

How in the world is that an appetizing slogan? Is the chicken so unremarkable that we can’t tell if it is boned or boneless? Are we expected to be so mindless as we eat that we are in actual danger of eating bones and not realizing it?

Fast food chains like McDonald’s and KFC have huge marketing budgets. And what do they come up with? McWraps and eating bones. Yuk.

Thanks for your marginally-clean rest rooms. I’ll just take an iced tea and be on my way.