Why I’m a Lousy Gardener

It was one year ago when I first put the flowering house plant into the ground. Now it’s a huge, pink tree. It, and its new offspring, are a favorite feast of snails. I know this because last spring snails were the bane of my existence.

Gardening experts told me I could get rid of the snail problem, once and for all, by baiting the snails very early in the springtime. I bought my bait and waited.

Then, in February, little holes in the yard began to appear. Hundreds of young armadillos were venturing out in the night to feast on snails. The armadillos had cute little pink snouts. How could I deprive them of their snail delicacies?

Now the armadillos have grown up and, for the most part, moved on. My garden is ravaged by snails. As I go to the shed to get the snail bait, a snail is climbing on the screen door.  The snail and I are face-to-face. The snail is so cute, with its little antennae.