Harness the Power of Words

“This heat is killing me.”

It’s June 2^nd, and summer weather is in full swing here in Florida. I love summer in Florida, but it is hot. My friends, stuck here because of jobs and spouses, wish they could be snowbirds and complain from May to October.

I don’t mind it when my friends complain about the weather, or anything else. But I mind very much when those complaints use exaggerations that invoke death, dismemberment and suffering.

Saying that the heat is killing you won’t actually make you die. The power of words is not such that if you simply speak, an action will occur. Since that doesn’t happen, we learn not to be careful about the energy we invoke.

Affirming over and over that something you can’t control is actually killing you does hurt you, each and every time you do it. It hurts you in two ways.

First, it gives something you can’t control more power over you than it really has.

Second, it surrounds you with negativity.

I get tired of people who avoid negative energy at all costs. Basically, if you live on the planet you will deal with some negative stuff.

But why create more negativity then you need to?

The heat is not killing you.

You won’t die if you don’t get the exact thing you want.

You won’t kill someone you love if they disappoint you.

A part of your body that aches is also not killing you.

We can harness the power of words for healing and empowerment. Why use it to do the opposite?

Hear Without Fear

What if we could consciously put aside our expectations, our prejudices and our cultural conditioning? What if we could really talk with each other and hear each other without an expectation of agreement?

What if we each spoke our truth without the fear of judgment?

What if we were able to hear each other’s’ truths without judging?

What if we stopped categorizing everything as right and wrong, and instead simply listened to each other and honored each other’s feelings, whether or not we agreed?

Elections and demonstrations can’t heal our division. Anger only makes us more divided.

If we could speak and listen in a space of no fear, what might we be able to accomplish together?

Making a Case for Good Manners

There seem to be people who believe that being polite equals being false. These people suggest that it is impossible to be honest and be nice at the same time.

I think these people lack intelligence as well as good manners.

In 2013 manners are not about when to stand and what to wear, or which fork to use.

Modern manners are about compassion, and making people feel comfortable.

Even when we need to give bad news or have an uncomfortable conversation, there are always ways to be kind.

None of us is perfect in this regard. We all are capable of rude behavior from time to time. But striving to be kind and thoughtful is never a sign of weakness or falseness.

Whatever our career or circumstances, interaction with others is a daily necessity. Why not make it a pleasant one?

There are even polite ways to stand up for ourselves.

Years ago my Grandmother gave me a book entitled “The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense.” With humor and intelligence this book gave great ways of effectively and politely standing up for oneself.

Being gentle in our tone, considerate in our actions and compassionate in our phrasing in no way dilutes our message.

If we find ourselves in an altercation the surest way to win is to maintain temper when our adversary doesn’t. Well-chosen, well-modulated words allow us to speak our truth in a way that cannot be easily dismissed.

In any social or business situation we always have a choice about how we present ourselves. When we chose compassion over anger, patience over impatience and kindness over rudeness, we improve our reputation, our own mood and the environment of the people around us. What about that could possibly be weak or false?