Three Rules for Writers

Recently, my first book, "Fortune Stellar," was chosen as the book of the month on a BlogTalkRadio show. My second book, "Tarot Tour Guide," has received great reviews as well.

I’m not sure that either of those facts makes me a great writer.

One thing I know for sure, I am a better writer now than I used to be, and I plan on improving. My next book will be my best book, I’m sure.

I keep a number of blogs, and publish an ambitious tarot newsletter each week.

Aside from a high school diploma, I am a self-taught writer. I hope that fact isn’t entirely apparent to my readers.

I have received some advice over the years; advice that I credit with my success as a writer so far.

Since I am seemingly successful as a writer in my field, I will share the three pieces of advice that helped me get there.

I won’t tell you which piece of advice came from which person, but here are my three sources. One bit of advice came from my Creative Writing teacher in High School. Another came from a tarot teacher, many years ago. A third came from my editor.

I hope these help you as much as they helped me.

1. Learn the Rules.

   It doesn’t matter if you are a rebel, or want to be modern, or hip, or whatever. It’s fine to break the rules, and it’s fine to write informally, as long as you have a grasp on formal writing first.

2. Write for Fifteen Minutes Every Day.

   It doesn’t matter what you write about, or even if what you write is any good. What matters is that you make it your daily habit to write, and that you never, ever say you “don’t have time” to write.

3. BICHOK, or BIC HOK

   This one is well-known in online writers’ circles. It stands for “Butt in Chair, Hands on Keyboard.” Much like the second item in this list, a lot of being a good writer comes simply from writing. If you suffer from writer’s block, forcing yourself to sit and write will chip away at the block quite quickly.
   Don’t wait for inspiration. Just write and the inspiration will eventually come.

A Grammar Cop Turns in her Badge

Although my writing is full of hasty typos, my inner Grammar Police is pretty vocal. Sometimes it is everything I can do to keep from spray-painting road signs to encourage motorists to drive slowly, rather than slow.

I was raised that way. When I brought my new husband home to meet my grandmother her first words to us were that I was pronouncing his last name (now mine) incorrectly. I wasn’t – but that’s a good example of the tree from which my apple fell. My own apples (now trees themselves) are careful speakers and writers, too.

I understand the intentional use of bad grammar for emphasis, as in “That ain’t gonna happen!”

I understand poetic license. “He don’t love you like I love you” sounds better than “He doesn’t love you like I love you” in the cira-1975 pop tune.

And now, finally, I understand something else about language. Usage changes. The rules change. And that’s not always a bad thing.

If language didn’t change we would still say words like “forsooth” and “verily.” When I was a girl I read a manners book that instructed polite young ladies to acknowledge a kindness with “I thank you.” The curt “thanks” was rude.

In modern casual writing we now use terms like “ok” and “cool.”

Nonetheless, I have often railed against the changes in our language, fearing that when we lose the form of language we lose some of its function. I worry that that our language is becoming less beautiful and less precise.

Recently I read something that changed my understanding. The evolution of our language is not always about apathy, laziness and stupidity. Sometimes it’s about brilliance and creativity.

One of my favorite writing blogs is “Daily Writing Tips.” Recently Maeve Maddox shared “The New, Delightful use of Because” which outlines and praises a new slang way of using the word “because” as a preposition. For example, “I’m going to the movies because, popcorn!” Or, “I signed up to take senior citizens to the theatre because, hey, free plays!”

Maddox admits that not all grammarians will dig this new use of “because,” but it seems she does, and so do I, because, hey, clever sentence structure.

Communication needs to be precise. But words are also the material of creativity. The evolution of language is not always about dumbing down. Sometimes it’s about lightening up. Sometimes it’s about our cultural agreement of what things mean.  Sometimes new language trends are smart, sassy and descriptive. And that’s cool because, innovation!

Note:
While Maddox was clear to point out the obvious - that the "because" preposition should not be used in formal writing, I didn't get that her use of the word "delightful" in the title was actually sarcastic. She doesn't like it. but I still do.

Mean People

I read an article yesterday called “Are we too Quick to Cry Bully?” The article pointed out something I have been thinking for a long time. There are lots of ways to be mean that aren’t bullying. Bullying is specific. Bullying is when a person who has power picks on someone who doesn’t. 

The article was about bullying as it pertains to young people. Middles schoolers and teenagers bullying each other is a special kind of torture – one that sometimes ends in suicide. The concern of the article was that by referring to simple acts of meanness as “bullying” we are diluting the horror of actual bullying, and empowering the true bullies.

Recently I have heard grown-ups talk about adult-on-adult bullying. Adult bullying happens. Bosses bully their employees. Wealthy HOA members bully their less fortunate neighbors. Misguided adults use race, religion, gender and sexuality as reasons to bully, much as children do.

I’d like to believe that adults have more resilience to bullying than young people do, but that’s not always the case, especially when one’s livelihood or home might be threatened.

The internet offers a new platform to bullies of all ages. But not every mean person on the internet is a bully. Somehow the internet can bring out the worst in all of us. We feel empowered to say things we might not in real life. There is even an internet term for mean-spirited people who say rude things online. We call them “trolls”.

There is a huge difference between a troll and a bully. A bully is someone who has actual power over you and uses that power to hurt you. A troll is simply someone who says mean things. Some people feel bullied by trolls. Artists consider not making art, writers considering giving up writing and sensitive people suffer depression because of the power they give to internet trolls.

I’ve dealt with my share of trolls.  Sometimes the most effective tactic is to call them on their meanness; to flatly accuse them of doing exactly what they are doing. I’ve elicited some very heartfelt apologies that way, and even become friendly with a few of them. Sometimes people just don’t think about what they are saying until you reflect it back to them – not in anger but in rational terms.

Some internet trolls hide behind other titles. They are “reviewers” or “speakers of the truth”. As a writer I’ve received my share of bad reviews. Sometimes a bad review is a gift that makes your next work better. There is a transparent difference between using a review to give needed constructive criticism and using a review as a platform to hurl insults. But, even in the latter case, once those insults are hurled, how we react to them is completely in our control.

Mean words can hurt, no matter who says them. It is impossible to have an online presence and not attract some negative attention. Over the past few years I have written a few blog posts that struck nerves I didn’t expect. I was surprised by the number of mean, rude comments I received, and the fact that those commenters followed me around on social media for a while. It was a little chilling that such unkind people could seemingly reach into my living room any time of the day or night.

I was also surprised by the number of people who reached out to me in sympathy. I really appreciated the kind words and support of people; both friends and people I had never met. But I was not as upset by the trolls as those supportive people expected me to be.  The trolls’ comments made me wish I had been clearer in my posts; there were a few things I hadn’t understood until I saw the backlash. And I was proud that something I wrote could elicit such a response. Writers want to touch nerves.

I didn’t feel bullied because these people had no power over me. There was nothing they could really do to hurt me. They could say mean things about me. They could spread lies about me. None of that really hurt me. In the end they were trolls, not bullies. Bullies are dangerous, trolls are irritating.

Speaking out is often the right defense against both bullies and trolls. Recently a writer’s unflattering photo went viral with an even more unflattering caption. She contacted the rude posters and made them deal with her as a human being. She shared her surprising results in an inspiring post.

In the case of bullies it is important to expose them for what they are. Shedding light on their activities may not take away their power in terms of money and position, but it will take away some of their authority. Trolls have no inherent power. The only power they have is the power we give them. If we want to give trolls the power to make us feel depressed or to contemplate giving up our talent, that’s our bad choice.

Eleanor Roosevelt lived and died before social media existed. Her immortal words are maybe more important now than they ever were. Eleanor is credited with saying “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

If we don’t give the trolls consent to make us feel badly they really can’t hurt us. They don’t have the power to hurt us without our help. I’m concerned, too, that if we, as adults, allow our feelings to be hurt by thoughtless and mean-spirited people, how will we be able to inspire our children to stand against their own mean peers?

Mean people suck, and they are everywhere. Mostly they are mean because of their own misfortunes. I have compassion for mean people. I hold them in love and light. But I do not give them consent to make me feel inferior.  You don’t have to, either.