One Commitment for Kindness

I like to write about trends here on my Dark Forest Blog. I think, too, that when we write about trends we are actually promoting them, maybe even making them trendier.

What happens when a trend is actually a shift? Is it possible for a trend to make a permanent shift in the consciousness of the planet? Of course it is!

Recently a tarot colleague, Theresa Reed, started “The Kindness Hustle.” Inspired by that, another tarot colleague, Donnaleigh de LaRose, made a video, “Random Acts of Tarot Kindness.” I used that video as the basis for the “Kindness” of my webcast, “Christiana’s Psychic Café.”

So what happens now?

Now I am going to make a personal commitment to kindness in my own life, by committing to do one thing. Maybe others would like to jump on the kindness bandwagon and do the same thing.

What one thing will you do or change to be more kind?

Here’s mine.

I am going to be more kind by being more patient.

I will be patient when dealing with customer service people who aren’t serving me well. I will learn to firmly and politely ask for what I need without being impatient.

I will cut people some slack. If they didn’t get my order right it’s not the end of the world. I’ll ask them to correct it, but I will do it nicely, and with good humor.

Especially when I am busy, stressed and tired, I will strive to be patient and polite.

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m a perimenopausal redheaded Scorpio. Patience is not my strong suit.

This is only one commitment for kindness, but it’s a tough one for me.

What’s your one commitment for kindness?

The Moon under Water

Sometimes I get so tired of chain restaurants; even the nice ones. There’s a comfort in knowing what to expect and knowing you can get it anywhere, but I love the adventure of trying a creative, unique dining experience. There are just so few of them left!

To celebrate some birthdays, my companions and I traveled to downtown St. Petersburg to try The Moon Under Water, a British Colonial Tavern.

Located right on Beach Drive NE, nestled in with other interesting restaurants and shops, the Moon Under Water looks exactly as you would expect a British pub to look.

It’s been a long time since I’ve dined in England, but I was pleased to see exactly the food I associate with England on the menu. There were pasties, bangers and mash, Indian curries, hummus and taboule.

My dining companions and I each ordered something different. We were each very pleased with our meals, which were plentiful, artistically presented and delicious.

Another delight came at the end of the meal. The Moon under Water provides lovely atmosphere, a unique menu and a great meal at a very affordable price!

A note of caution; call ahead for a reservation. We were there on a Tuesday and waited half an hour for a table. It was worth the wait for a unique dining experience in downtown St. Pete.

Three Great Low-Tech Fads

When I was in elementary school there was a new fad every few weeks. One spring we played jacks at recess every day. The next September we were jumping rope.

When we are young we are encouraged to be social, creative and athletic. As adults we don’t have as many opportunities for that kind of exploration and expression.

Recently I’ve found some gown-up fads that help me honor my inner child. Surprisingly, none of them are high tech. They are all resurgences of things that have been around a while. Here are three of them.

1. Hooping

   “Hooping,” also called “hoop dancing” is hula hooping for fitness, creativity and spiritual insight. Hoops are larger than the ones we had as kids, and are often decorated with reflective tape or LED lights.

2. Lenormand Cards

   Lenormand Cards are a deck of thirty-six cards used for fortune-telling.  They are smaller and simpler than tarot. New Lenormand cards, websites and how-to books are being published every day.

3. Ukulele

   More affordable, and easier to carry and play than guitar, playing ukulele is becoming a popular social activity. There are meetups, jams and classes in virtually every city!

Kids have to challenge themselves to learn something new every day. Adults can pretty much avoid having to stretch out of their comfort zone most of the time.

Why not stretch a little and enjoy something that is both old and new?

Mojo Dragonfly: A Rare Breed

We’ve been in Pasco County, just north of Tampa, for almost a year now. I’m embarrassed to say how little I have explored the local color. Our home is beautiful and my schedule is demanding. I don’t get out much.
This past weekend our community held a band bash; three local bands, beers and BBQ on a Saturday afternoon. There was a time in my life that would have been an average Saturday. Now, it’s something special.

All three bands were wonderful. The one I want to talk about is Mojo Dragonfly.

Mojo Dragonfly has an amazingly line-up. They are two women, three men and more instruments than you can count, including mandolin and flute. They sing five-part harmony. The lead female vocalist, Carolynn Street, has enough rock cred in her voice to carry leads that are traditionally sung by men and make it work, without having to sound overmuch like a Wilson sister.

I’d heard the name of the band a few times in the past year. Many people have said “You’ve got to see Mojo Dragonfly; you’ll really like them.” I didn’t pay attention, because most people don’t really get what makes me like a band.

They opened with some classic rock numbers from the 1970s; Styx and Led Zeppelin.  Then Michelle Basch pulled out her flute and launched into some Marshall Tucker. This got me thinking. They’re playing seventies rock and they have a flautist. Could it be? Is it possible that they might do some Jethro Tull? Anyone who knows me knows that my love for Jethro Tull rivals my love even for the Grateful Dead.

Just as I was thinking this, they launched into a very respectable “Thick as a Brick” that segued into an absolutely rockin’ “Living in the Past.” I was in heaven!

Mojo Dragonfly can’t be pigeonholed as simply an efficient classic rock band with two hot chicks and a bunch of fun instruments. Their rendition of Imagine Dragon’s “Radioactive” was stellar. At one point three band members were playing the drums, laying down beats worthy of Imagine Dragons’ fresh drum style.
That Mojo Dragonfly so competently moved from 1970s prog rock to cutting edge pop impressed me. I think it confused some of the old rockers in the audience. I appreciate a band that can find the best music of each decade, and play it with some depth.

After Imagine Dragons they played another of my favorites from another decade, Prince.

Mojo Dragonfly separates itself from the yawnfest of standard regional cover acts in a number of ways. They’re not a “chick band,” but they leave no doubt that women rock. Each member is uniquely talented and charismatic, although they function together flawlessly. Each band member plays a number of instruments, so the talents of each individual are showcased in a way that is visually interesting. Their combined vocal talent is epic. And, they manage to walk the line between respectful cover and creative interpretation of some of the best music of five decades.
Pasco County is lucky to have such a rare breed of band playing regular live shows. Like them on Facebook, and get to a show!

Finally Falafel in West Palm Beach

Some of you know of my ongoing search for the perfect falafel. After expressing my disappointment in several West Palm Beach Middle Eastern restaurants I learned that different cultures make and serve falafel differently. So, to be clear, here is my falafel litmus.

I am searching for falafel that is as good as what I remember from Mamoun’s Falafel Restaurant in New Haven, CT, circa 1987. With locations in New York and New Jersey as well, Mamoun’s is still going strong, thank goodness.

But I want a Mamoun’s-style falafel in South Florida.

This is where I should probably insert a disclaimer.

Mamoun’s falafel, and other Middle Eastern delicacies, were best enjoyed late at night, after the bars closed, when Mamoun’s was the only restaurant open. Back then you could get a falafel for the few dollars you hadn’t spent on drinks at Toad’s Place. The Middle Eastern music, the Persian rugs and shiny brass and copper décor all added to the flavor, and the experience.

Even so, not everyone enjoyed Mamoun’s. Some of my friends called their falafel “feel-awful,”
 perhaps sometimes with good reason.

But still, in my memory, an entire era of my life smells and tastes like Mamoun’s falafel. 20 years and a thousand miles away, I long for that distinct experience.

The last time I was on Clematis Street in West Palm Beach I noticed that Yankee Dog was gone. I wasn’t surprised. I liked Yankee Dog. The thing was, they advertised an extensive menu and round-the-clock service, and ended up serving a limited menu during unpredictable open hours.

Where Yankee Dog once was, on the corner of Clematis and Rosemary, is now “Keese’s Simply Delicious.” Folks from Fort Lauderdale might know Keese’s first location in Lauderdale-by-the-Sea.

Unlike most places on Clematis, Keese’s doesn’t offer a classy dining room. You can eat at the window counter or on the outdoor tables, or you can take your food to go.

The menu is varied, offering American grill, salads, and Mediterranean and seafood dishes. The Mediterranean options include kafta, shawarma, hummus, babaghanouj, grape leaves and, of course, falafel.

Falafel is available as an appetizer, a dinner plate, a salad and a pita sandwich. After much deliberation, I chose the pita sandwich, and a side of grape leaves.

The falafel pita is made with lettuce, tomato, hummus and tahini. I was impressed with the fresh veggies and the generous portions. I was prepared to be disappointed in the falafel itself, but was pleasantly surprised.

The falafel at Keese’s is delicious. My search for great falafel in West Palm Beach has finally come to a happy conclusion.

My dining companions enjoyed the chicken shawarma and the lemon avocado salad.

Whether you want healthy veggie options or a great burger, or if you are like me and in search of the perfect falafel, Keese’s has everything you need.

_{Illustration: Golden Falafel Balls on a Plate, Creative Commons, by yummyporky.}

Three Things I Learned from Donald Michael Kraig

I am saddened by the news of the death of one of my favorite Pagan authors, Donald Michael Kraig.

I met Don a couple of times in the late 1990s, when we both were presenters at American Tarot Associations conventions in Albany. At the time, he was already a well-known author.

Over the years we had a few phone conversations and exchanged a few emails. I had always assumed our paths would cross again one day.

That Don passed on March 17^th strikes me. Many modern Pagans celebrate March 17^th as “All Snakes Day,” in recognition of the stories of St. Patrick’s atrocities toward Irish Pagans.

Although there are reasons to doubt the historical accuracy of those stories, All Snakes Day has become something of a modern Pagan holiday. I don’t know if Don celebrated it or not. I do bet that, over the next years and decades, many Pagans will take a moment to honor the life of Donald Michael Kraig each and every March 17^th as part of their All Snakes Day celebration.

I often quote Don in my classes. Although we didn’t spend any significant time together, I learned a lot from him. Here are three things I learned from Donald Michael Kraig.

1. It’s human nature to act against the advice of divination, and that’s ok.

   Readers so often bemoan the fact that clients don’t take our advice. Don assumed and accepted that we have the prerogative to do what we want, regardless of the information we receive from divination. To me that has always been very freeing and affirming. It allows us to use divination in a more proactive way.

2. Divination and magick are linked.

   Don’s books really helped me understand the way magick and divination work together, and the way tarot fits into all of that. Without his work I would not have been able to do mine.

3. Teach with your whole self.

   Don was a truly great teacher. I was fascinated by his stories. When Don taught a class, all of his body, mind and spirit was focused on the task. He would jump up and down and wave his arms around, gesturing wildly. He managed to be funny, grounded and wise. I try to do the same.

I’m grateful that I had a chance to meet Donald Michael Kraig. I know that through his books, and through the people he taught, his wisdom will continue on forever.

During Don’s struggle with pancreatic cancer a fund was established to help with expenses. Please considering making a donation in his memory.

The Best Hair in Florida

Finding the professionals you need is one of the hardest tasks of moving. I know, I’ve moved a lot in my life. I’m also picky, and not opposed to driving many miles for the right dentist, doctor or salon.

Of all the hard-to-find-professionals, for me the most difficult to find is a great hairdresser.

I have hair that many stylists find challenging. I am also very particular about my hair. I have little interest in being fashion-forward. I would rather simply avoid the salon for a few years than find myself in the chair of a perky scissor-wielding twenty-year-old who wants to know what I want to do about “all this grey.” Please don’t chastise me when I refuse to let you give me a new hairstyle, straighten my curls or change my hair color!

I know a lot of women love going to the salon. For me it can be as anxiety producing as a trip to the dentist.

I’ve been in Florida for six years now. Early on I was lucky to find a hairdresser I loved. One day the salon in which she worked was just gone, and I had no idea where to find her. I tried a few other places after that, from cheap chain mall shops to high-end luxury salons. Finally, I gave up, until this past weekend when I discovered Kerri Olah-Brennan in Lake Worth.

Kerri is the owner and operator of @The-Hair.Net, a cute one-chair salon at 506 Lucerne Avenue in downtown Lake Worth. If you go to @The-Hair.Net, there is no chance that you will be sloughed off to a lesser hairdresser due to a busy schedule. If you go to Kerri’s shop, it’s Kerri who will take care of you.

Kerri has been doing hair since she was a teenager. Now she has teenagers of her own. She’s down-to-earth, friendly and funny. Most importantly, she listens, and asks questions to make sure she understands what you want.

As much as Kerri is respectful of my desire to keep my hair natural, she keeps current with new techniques, styles, products and tools. I’ve also had the privilege of seeing Kerri’s artistry with special-occasion up-dos. Kerri is a good person to have on your team when it comes time for weddings and proms.

Whether you need maintenance, a new look or a do for a special occasion, call Kerri at (561) 358-1237.

Awesome Breakfast in Tampa!

I love going out for breakfast, but I don’t really like eggs, or most standard American breakfast food.

Thank goodness we found Brunchie’s!

Conveniently located on Dale Mabry in Carrollwood, Brunchie’s serves breakfast and lunch. Their extensive menu is a delight to read, but it might take some time to make a choice!

Brunchie’s has plenty of healthy options that include some vegan and gluten-free fare. They also have some unusual dishes for culinary adventurers, like “duck bacon.”  Brunchie’s offers all sorts of eggs benedict dishes and pancake and waffle dishes for those who want a treat. I appreciate niceties like real maple syrup, and an assortment of teas - Brunchies has all that and more.

This restaurant gets busy, especially on a Sunday morning. Get there early, or be prepared to wait. Since there is no place like Brunchie’s anywhere, it is probably worth the wait.

More Lessons from the Garden

One of the great things about living in Florida is the ability to garden all year long. Of course, this is only my first year as a gardener, but I have already had some great successes.

It occurred to me that, at this point, I have yet to actually buy a plant. All of my current plants are propagated from plants that other people didn’t want or couldn’t take care of.

Some of my plants were here when I got here. There were two straggly hibiscus bushes in front of our house. At one time they might have been lovely. When I inherited them they looked hopeless. In fact, my neighbors told me they were hopeless.

It was more that I didn’t want the hassle of removing them that made me nurture them. I didn’t have any real love for them. I like unusual plants, and red hibiscus is pretty common here in Florida. They are also messy plants; they drop a lot of leaves.

Even though I was motivated by laziness and unenthusiastic about the flowers, I nurtured the hibiscus for almost a year. I pruned and fed, and waited.

As little as a month ago I was telling my neighbor I was getting ready to get rid of them. They just weren’t worth the trouble. But I didn’t give up. I continued to nurture them.

This morning they greeted me with huge, healthy blooms. They’ve boomed before, but the blossoms were sparse and small. Today’s blossoms are magnificent.

I learn so much from gardening. Today I learned that, regardless of the initial motivation, diligence and patience pays off.  I learned, too, that even common things can be uniquely beautiful. I learned that health and beauty go hand in hand. I also learned not to give up easily on living things.  We can often respond to nurturance. Sometimes it just takes a while!

A Mean Meme

I am usually the first one to defend social media when it comes under fire from those who see it as a harbinger of the end of the world as we know it.

Do I think that social media keeps us from interacting with each other? Do I think social media isolates us? No, I don’t. I am in touch with literally hundreds of people who, without social media, would be only vague memories. Now I know the names of their kids, their grandkids and their cats.

I also don’t think the end of the world is near. I don’t think our recent harsh weather is somehow sinister or “unnatural” or that a deity is punishing us for letting gay people get married.

Just because I’m a tarot reader doesn’t mean I’m superstitious. Just because I eat organic foods doesn’t mean I want to return to the eighteenth century.

Once in a while, though, I wish the “share” button on Facebook came with a disclaimer, or a warning.

Something like “Did you really read that meme? Do you really agree with it? Do you really think propagating this is helpful to the world?”

Many of the memes we wantonly share on Facebook contain inflammatory statements presented as facts. One trip to Snopes can save us from spreading lies and creating confusion, but it’s so much easier just to hit “Share.”

The meme that has my garters in a twist today isn’t factual, or even very political.  Well, to me it’s political, but most people won’t see it that way. It’s really just a cute, funny thing that means no harm at all. It’s from EMZKIE at Poopsie. It goes like this.

Yes, I'm a woman. I push doors that clearly say pull. I laugh harder when I try to explain why I'm laughing. I walk into a room and forget why I was there. I count on my fingers in math. I ask for food and then don't eat it when I get it. I fall in love too fast with someone who doesn't actually love me back. I hide the pain from my loved ones. I say it is a long story when it's really not. I cry a lot, more than you think I do. I care about people who don't care about me. I try to do things before the microwave beeps. I listen to you even though you don't listen to me. And a hug will always help. Yes! I am a woman! And I am proud of who I am.

Am I the only person for whom reading this is like sliding down a razorblade into a pool of salt? Ouch!

I’m all about gender pride in the face of oppression and all that, but let’s take a look at how this meme defines women.

Women are delightfully stupid. Women are giddy and silly. Women can’t do math. Women suffer in silence. Women are overly sentimental. Women are industrious in the kitchen. Woman do not require reciprocity. Women are comfortable being defined this way, because women are just featherheads with big hearts!

Who shares this meme on Facebook? Women do!

All I can do is shake my head.

There are so many great quotes about being a woman. What about Maya Angelou’s acclaimed poem, “Phenomenal Woman?”

When I see intelligent women hitting the Share button on the “Yes I’m a woman” meme, I want to respond with the words of Mary Wollstonecraft, from 1792 (that’s more than two centuries ago, if anyone’s counting).

In her “A Vindication of the Rights of Women,” she said, “My own sex, I hope, will excuse me, if I treat them like rational creatures, instead of flattering their fascinating graces, and viewing them as if they were in a state of perpetual childhood, unable to stand alone.”

I think Mary might have been inclined to poo-poo Poopsie, just as I am!