When is it Cool to Call People Out?

There is a growing trend in popular culture and social media to encourage people to speak out about the inappropriate behavior of others, and to name names.

I understand the concept of “silence equals consent,” and I understand that calling out bullies and harassers keeps people safer. Bullies and harassers only have power if we give them an environment in which to function.

I also know the courage to it takes to break silence and share our stories of abuse.

Sometimes our voices work to shine needed light into dark places.

Sometimes it is delightfully entertaining to call out hypocrisy, ego, stupidity and greed when we see it in the pompous, and the self-righteous.

I think, however, there comes a time that “calling people out” becomes another form of bullying.

When we decide to tell the entire world about someone’s transgressions, or when we issue an edict that none of our social media friends may also be friends with one who has offended us, I think we need to be clear about our motivation.

Calling people out is a way of protecting others from known dangers. Calling people out keeps bullies from lurking in the shadows and hurting others.

Sometimes, though, we name names because we are hurt, or offended. We want to strike back at someone whom we perceive has harmed us.

I think that is the moral line in the sand. Calling people out as a way of preventing further abuse helps our communities. Calling people out as a way of processing anger or hurt, or as a way of seeking revenge, can be a very low way of handling a problem.

Sometimes it takes courage to break silence. Sometimes it takes even more courage to keep it.

Definitions and Stories, the Fool and the Magician

I believe that most of us spend our entire adult life healing from the first twenty years. This is sometimes true even when we have great parents and few tragedies.

Although childhood is often thought of as a time of exploration, wonder and growth, it can also be a time of bewilderment, misunderstanding and loneliness.

Sometimes, as adults, we use the things that hurt us in childhood to define ourselves in adulthood.

Sometimes we let bullies and abusers shape our sense of self-worth.

Sometimes we let negative people define our limitations.

After a while, it is no longer the fault of the abuser or the bully. It is our own fault for allowing ourselves to become victim to it.

We when tell the stories of our past, we can cast ourselves as the victim, or as the survivor.

In the end, it doesn't matter what has happened in the past. What matters is how we let our past define us.

Like the Fool in tarot, we are always on a journey. We are always the star of our own show, the hero of our own story.

To have the most successful journey, and the happiest story, we can't let others define our character. We can let the limited thinking of others limit us.

When we look at the Fool card, we see him merrily ready to begin his journey by stepping off a cliff. It is that sort of bold faith that makes for the very best journeys in life.

How do you define yourself? How do you count your tools, your abilities and your skills?

When we look at the Magician card, we see that the Magician has the ability to channel power from Heaven to Earth and back again. We see that he has on his table all the tools he needs. We see him committed to the task of wielding his tools, and sharpening his skills.

Both the Fool and the Magician display a sort of life-defining confidence; an ability to chart one's course and create one's own destiny.

Each of us has the ability to do the same.

Don't let others define who you are.

Be the survivor, not the victim.

Tell your story in a way that empowers you.

Manifest your destiny.