Find Yourself with Divination

Who are you, at your core?

This is a topic I often speak about, and write about, because it comes up so often in readings.

One of the reason that divination is so helpful is that divination is a way to help us discover our true identity – our core.

Sometimes we get stuck trying to be the person other people want us to be.

Sometimes we get stuck trying to become the person we think we should be.

Sometimes our self-perception is marred by low self-esteem or over-inflated ego.

Tarot, astrology and numerology are ways for us to look into a cosmic mirror, and discover things that are true about the self.

The more we are able to understand the core self, the more at peace we will be.

There are some people who misuse tools of divination, like tarot. They use the tool only to make predictions in an effort to assuage anxiety about the future. They never use the cards, nor any psychic tool, to actually question their own behaviors and discover more about the self.

The irony is, this very practice works to dispel anxiety, because once we feel solid in who we are, it is very hard to feel anxious about anything. Anxiety is most often born of a misunderstanding of self.

The significator card in a tarot spread is helpful in discerning “Who am I at the present moment?” Significator cards that we chose to represent ourselves help us discern “Who am I at core?”

If you want to learn about yourself, learn about your birth number, your sun, moon and rising sun, and the tarot cards associated with them.

This information should paint a clear picture of your motivations, your path and your sense of self.

There are those who say that we should not read tarot, or use other tools, for ourselves. They people may think we will come from the perspective of the anxious person using tarot to relieve her fear of the future.

But when we use our tools to understand who we are, we become strong, self-aware and healed.

I will be teaching a webinar on self-reading on July 24. Join us!

(This post is cross-posted on my Tarot Topics Community Blog.)

Getting Real

I’m fascinated by the way we use the word “real.” “Real” can mean “authentic.” We sometimes use the word “real” to describe people who seem honest and unpretentious.

“Real” can also mean “true” and “existent,” as in “Faeries are real.”

“Real” can also mean “exemplary” and “definitive,” as in this Facebook meme I found today.

“A real woman can do it all by herself, but a real man won’t let her.”

A recent blog post gone viral on the Derniere website by E. Mackey, entitled “An Open Letter to Women: What Men Really Want” spoke a great deal about “real men” and “real women.”

I let myself get sucked into the comment war on that post. Along with many, I needed to point out the fallacies E. Mackey was enthusiastically promoting.

The thing I wanted to say, but couldn’t figure out exactly how, was this.
We can’t suggest that a particular behavior or attitude makes a person “real.” When it comes to gender, we can’t even say that physiology reliably denotes reality.

The word “real’ is hurtful in blended families. “But she’s not your real daughter.” “You’re not my real father.”

People have been throwing around the word “real” as a way of creating division for a long time. In church you might be accused of not being a real Christian. The same could happen at a Pagan event; group members might decide that you are not a real Pagan.

I’ll bet this comes up in every community. He’s not a real philatelist. She’s not a real nudist. He’s not a real Republican. She’s not a real feminist.

"Real" and "not real" are categories we use to judge each other.

How do we decide who is real? How is it we are audacious enough to try to rob an individual of their very being, denying them their sense of identity?

Sometimes people ask me if tarot is real. Those are the words they use. “Is tarot real?”

As a joke I usually pick the deck up and examine it. “Yup, it’s real.”

I know that’s not what they are really asking, though. They want to know if the experience that comes from tarot is valuable.

And maybe there’s the problem with the word “real.” It also means “valuable.” “These earrings are real,” means they are highly valued. A “real man” is a man who is valuable.

The problem is, it’s all subjective because we value different things.

We are all real. We all have a right to own the identity that feels real to us. No one should be able to take that way. Real men do all sorts of different things. Real women do all sorts of different things.

We can choose the sorts of people we want in our lives. But we are not choosing between real and unreal. We are choosing what works for us. Everyone has a right to be considered “real,” whether we are behaving in a way that a particular person finds acceptable, or not.

Authentic Voice

Writers struggle to "find their voice." But it is not just writers who need to know and use their authentic voice, it's all of us.

Many of us have different voices for different things we do; a "work voice" and a "mom voice," for instance. But what is your authentic voice?

Many people don't know their authentic voice because it wasn't allowed to develop in youth. Often children are told not to express their feelings, or that their voice doesn't matter.

Many people are shy, and afraid to use their voice.

But what does it mean to know and use your authentic voice? I think it means having the courage to speak what is on your mind and in your heart.

That doesn't mean being mean-spirited, even if you are angry. It does mean being honest.

The question is, is it possible to be honest and kind at the same time? And, if we operate with restraint, are we actually restraining our authentic voice?

As with anything else in life, using your authentic voice takes balance. It is possible to express feelings, even negative feelings, in a positive way. It is possible to be authentic and still have regard for the people around you.

Once in a while you run into a person who confuses meanness with honestly. A person who says "hey, I'm just telling the truth the way I see it," while indeed they are instead using their words as an opportunity to hurt someone.

The way to avoid this is simple. When it comes to communicating your truth, never have a second agenda. Never let it be about ego, or about trying to diminish someone else.

Your authentic voice, whether written or spoken, must be about expressing yourself, not your agenda.

The tarot suit of Swords, associated most often with the element of Air, is all about communication. That's why so many of the Swords cards often have very stark, unpleasant pictures. So often we are hurt by the words of others. Sometimes, the words we speak are hurtful to others.

Authenticity can be revealing - even shocking. But it is never intentionally hurtful.

In the literary world, and in the tarot world, reviews are an important part of our careers. Many of us write reviews of books, movies, tarot decks, and even restaurants. Reviews are important to writers and artists because those reviews help us to be better. One could argue that a bad review is the most helpful review of all. Constructive criticism is helpful when it is authentic.

When reviewers have a second agenda, their review is no longer authentic, and helps no one. Another way to honor our authentic voice is to dismiss the voices of others that are not authentic.

This is true, too, in the way that we see ourselves. We all have an inner critic. When that inner critic is authentic, it helps us to be better. When that inner critic comes from a place of anxiety and bad self-esteem, it is no longer authentic. When we think about the authentic voice, we must realize this refers to what we express to the world, and our inner dialogue that only we hear.

Finding your authentic voice is part of finding your identity. So many adults attach their identity to temporary things - things like raising small children, jobs and relationships. When that part of life is over, suddenly we don't know who we are anymore.

Sadly, sometimes we use the tragedies in our lives to define ourselves as well.

For me, tarot has been a great tool for finding identity, and finding the authentic voice, for both me and my clients.

Another great tool is to have an understanding of the chakras. To directly work with the throat chakra in meditation and breathing exercises is very helpful. To connect the throat chakra and the heart chakra is an amazing way to let the authentic voice present itself.

I often see the Ace of Swords as the "anti-bullsh*t device." I sometimes take this card and hold it to my throat chakra, breathing in its energy, that I may know my truth, speak my truth, and discern the things I hear as either truth or untruth.

This is one of the ways that tarot helps me find my authentic voice.

From my 78 Poems Project

The Ace of Swords

Forged steel of ingenuity
Communication, keen focus, acuity.
No tolerance for thieves in this blade
As Excalibur discerned a kingdom was made.
This Sword seeks no royalty
It 's a common but sacred thing, honesty.
This Sword of Air scourges lies
Reveals truth behind malicious disguise.
Questions ignorance, banishes confusion
And separates reality from delusion.
But do not take this Sword of Air
Without the strength the truth to bear.
And remember with faith, when truth is clear
It's never as dark as what you fear.