Backing Into a Delicate Reading

I still offer free classes and meetups after almost thirty years of being a full-time tarot professional. Informal tarot gatherings offer me the invaluable opportunity to learn how to describe, quantify, and teach the techniques I have developed innately over years of full-time tarot reading.

When I gather with other tarot professionals at conferences like StaarCon I discover that many of my peers have developed some of the same techniques. They may have similar or different ways of naming them and explaining them.

Tarot reading techniques are incredibly personal. No two readers will have the same style, though many of us share similarities in our ethics and approaches.

One way that readers differ from each other in is their ethical comfort and technique in handling delicate questions. Something came up during our recent Cards and Conversation Tarot Meetup at Panera Bread in Palm City. The way we handled it as a group helped me understand a technique that I have used unconsciously for years. The meetup brought this technique into focus for me, so now I can succinctly share it.

What is a delicate question for a tarot reader? Very often, questions related to health, especially in dire or extreme circumstances, can be one area of concern for readers.

Some readers simply refuse to answer any questions related to health. Some readers refuse any third-party questions. That is, questions about people who are not present and did not consent to be part of the reading.

Other readers try to work with every requested topic but may choose to rephrase the question. For instance, “What will be the outcome of my mother’s upcoming surgery?” might be rephrased to “What do I need to know about my mother’s upcoming surgery?” or “How can I best support my mother during her surgery?”

There are also readers who believe that the question should be posed of the cards exactly as the querent asked it, without any rephrasing.

I try to answer most questions client ask me. I will often rephrase, but I will not always make an obvious point of rephrasing.

At the meetup, we were doing readings for each other. One person would ask a question, and then anyone in the group who wanted to ring in would pull one card and give their answer.

The question that came up was regarding a family member in a precarious health situation. I used this as a teachable moment. I asked for a show of hands. If you received this question in a one-on-one setting, how many of you would politely refuse to answer? How many of you would offer prayer or tarot magic instead of prediction? How many of you would do the reading on the question as it was asked? How many of you would rephrase the question?

I tried to conduct this discussion in a way that was supportive of the person asking the question, and supportive of everyone’s thoughts about how they each might approach this delicate question.

Not one person in the group of fourteen people wanted to answer the question as it was asked.

We worked together on rephrasing the question. Then, those who felt called pulled single cards in answer to the rephrased question.

As the process unfolded, I noticed something significant. The cards that appeared in answer to the rephrased question were helpful when interpreted within the context of the new question, just as one might expect.

Yet, each of those same cards also had specific references within them to the original question. Each of the cards pulled to answer the rephrased question, if interpreted in answer to the original question, offered very specific information relevant to the original question. Nicely, these interpretations offered hope, solace, and the possibility of a positive outcome.

What happened here?

We know that we need to interpret cards in the context of the question asked, or the spread position in which they fall. But we also know that the cards we pull can offer additional information. In a positioned spread, cards can pop out of their position to offer extraneous and addition information, advice, and predictions. When answering a specific question, the card can be interpreted to answer the question, and then re-interpreted to offer more insight.

In this case the insight clearly offered the best possible answer to the original delicate question.

In describing what I was seeing and feeling, I realized that this is a technique I have been unconsciously using for years.

Here’s what to do if you want to try this technique the next time someone asks you a delicate question.

Rephrase the question and read for the rephrased question. If the cards that appear seem to speak to the original question, decide if the information they are offering is helpful to the querent. You may relay this information directly, or simply use this new information to adjust your tone, and help them set their expectations.

In the moment at the meetup, I referred to this technique as “backing into the reading”. Rather than answering a potentially upsetting question directly, we set up a circumstance where we could offer helpful information without being predictive. When the cards themselves came up making a prediction, we were able to decide whether to share that prediction, or how to let what we saw in those cards influence what we said to the questioner.

Now that I understand that I have been doing this with delicate questions for years, I am happy to be able to quantify this helpful technique and share it.

Do you ever back into a delicate reading? Is this something you might consider trying?

Holding Space at the Tarot Table

This post is for anyone who reads tarot for others, either professionally or casually.

This post is about some of the most difficult moments we encounter at the tarot table. That is, moments when we see our client’s grief, moments when we must suggest that our client’s perception of something may not be accurate or helpful, and moments when our client exposes an aspect of their personality or belief system that we ourselves find distasteful. There are certainly other difficult moments that might happen in a tarot reading, but we will leave those for another day.

Obviously, when dealing with many of these sorts of issues, a good tarot reader will strongly and firmly suggest counseling, therapy, or other mental health services. Very often we tarot readers are the first line of defense when it comes to emotional well-being. We can’t diagnose or treat our clients. We can help them see and normalize the fact that they might need treatment and encourage them to get it.

Holding Space for Grief

It is good and healing for readers to offer hopeful perspectives. Readers who see danger and despair at every turn and insist that their clients are in denial if they don’t see things this way can do real damage. At the same time, toxic positivity is pretty damaging, too. A good reader will not sugar-coat. However, a good reader will have difficult conversations with finesse and a delicate touch.

Very often, though, the most grievous things we see at the tarot table are not future potentials, but real tragedies which have already occurred. We may work with a client who has suffered a recent loss, or who has just received a devastating diagnosis.

A good example of a card that can let us know such a thing has occurred is the Five of Cups. This image often shows a person grieving over three spilt cups, when two remain standing. There are times this card can suggest a poor attitude, a victim mentality, or crying over spilt milk. Yet, over the years I have learned that when we see grief at the tarot table, whether in this card or others, we must acknowledge the pain rather than minimizing it. Accusing a person of being negative before we discover the circumstances is a newbie mistake no good tarot reader wants to make.

Some clients will be victims of their own spiritual bypassing and refuse to acknowledge their grief. When that happens, we can’t be pushy, but we can suggest that a time might come when they will need to experience their grief. Some of what we say in a reading may not be helpful initially. Sometimes pieces of a reading will stick with the client and be recalled at the right time, long after we ourselves have forgotten the reading.

Some clients will be holding on to a story of grief and loss from which they refuse to heal. In this case we need to acknowledge their pain before we offer strategies to help them move past it.

When clients are in real grief, we have to be careful to not minimize what they are feeling. When a loved one is recently deceased, we need to hold space for their pain and loss. We cannot offer comfort until we acknowledge how hard the process is. We cannot give clues for the way forward until we help them feel strong enough to walk that path. We cannot offer messages from the deceased without acknowledging that, while a mediumship experience is comforting, it is not the same as enjoying a meal in person with a loved one.

Many tarot readers are empaths. We must be able to experience a client’s grief with them without taking on so much that we impair ourselves, or let it stick with us after the reading is over.

Managing the energetic aspect of the reading is super important when the reading contains grief and sadness. We do that by having good psychic protection techniques in place throughout the reading process.

Holding Space for Truth

We see a lot of denial, anxiety, and fantasy at the tarot table. Many times, people come to us with a particular story. Over time I have learned to pull cards to check in on everything a client might tell me that could possibly be subjective. For example, ‘My boss hates me’, ‘My husband is a good man’, ‘I’m not very smart’, ‘I know this is the right relationship for me’, and so on.

Sometimes people build their entire life on a belief that turns out to be false. Sometimes they discover that belief is false in a tarot reading. When we are about to disturb the belief structure upon which a person’s life is currently built, we have to be very, very sure and very, very careful.

When we do this correctly the client ends up feeling free, empowered, and hopeful. When we humans lie to ourselves there is always a part of us that knows we are lying, even if it is deeply buried. For example, if my client believes her husband is a good man, but I see in the cards that he is behaving inappropriately in some way and the client confirms what I see, a golden opportunity presents itself.

“So, you and I both agree that you are abused in your marriage. If this is true, how does hanging on to the idea that your husband is ‘good’ help you?”

Once disabused of the story that her abuser is ‘good’, the client is free to decide how to best move forward. Then, we can pull cards on all the possibilities that are now accessible.

Imagine a client who believes himself to be less than intelligent. His understanding of his career and relationship possibilities are limited by that belief. The cards that you see in the reading tell you that your client is quite smart. The hard time he had in school was for reasons related to his environment, rather than his abilities. You can ask questions of the cards to help you build a case to your client that offers logical examples of his ability to learn and to process information. Now you and your client are free to explore new possibilities for his future.

The tarot techniques that work best in these situations involve asking many questions of the cards. Allow both logic and intuition to guide those questions. Use as many cards as you need in order to clearly find the information that will help you help your client best.

Holding Space for Growth

We don’t have to like all of our tarot clients. We don’t have to share the same political views, or the same taste in music or fashion. It is inevitable that we will find within some of our clients severe personality differences or character traits that we find distasteful.

It only makes sense to gently point out these areas of concern if you determine that they are negatively impacting your client’s own experience of their life.

For example, you might notice that your client is overly talkative and then discover they are having problems at work because of their communication style. At that point it might make sense to use the cards to explore why your client is so loquacious and to give them ideas on how to make changes.

Your client’s homophobic comments might understandably make you angry. Yet, it may not be helpful to enlighten them about your opinion of their belief system. However, you might see in the cards that their attitude is hurting them because it is hurting their relationship with a family member. Then, you might be able to pull some cards to help them find a different way to process what they have so far refused to understand. When you are able to do this, you can make a lifelong difference for an entire family.

We may not always like or enjoy our clients. Yet, we can hold them in compassion, and hold space to help them find a way to grow.

Very often, people seek tarot readings because they are going through difficulties. We tarot readers must be prepared to hold space for people who are not at their best. We need to be our best selves when others are at their worst. By doing so, we can offer the opportunity for healing, and a hopeful way forward.

Psychic Protection for Empaths and Readers

Psychic Protection for Empaths and Readers

We hear the term ‘psychic protection’ quite often. Less often do we receive clear information on what that means and how to create it for ourselves.

You might wonder, who needs psychic protection?

The two categories of people who most urgently need psychic protection are empaths and psychic readers.

Empaths are people who naturally feel what others feel, often both emotionally and physically. Empaths need to develop two important skills. The first is to be able to differentiate their own feelings and sensations from those of others. The second is to learn to protect themselves from other people’s energies.

Because empaths so often and easily pick up other people’s thoughts and feelings and read them as their own they are incredibly easy to manipulate. This makes empaths the natural prey of narcissists. That means that empaths need to learn to have good boundaries in all their relationships, and a good sense of self, self-esteem and self-love.

Truly, psychic protection is just another type of boundary that we need to have in our interactions with people.

Psychic readers are those who do psychic work for others, either professionally or casually, using clairvoyance, mediumship, and tools like tarot and other oracles. Psychic readers need to utilize psychic protection for two reasons. First, in day-to-day life, naturally psychic people need to shield themselves from picking up information when it’s not helpful or appropriate so to do.

Second, in a reading we need to be able to give information without taking on the emotional and energetic burdens of our clients.

The difference between empaths and psychics (some people are both) is that empaths feel what others are feeling, and psychics know and see information about others.

Both need to be able to utilize psychic protection every day, and especially when interacting with others.

The psychic protection method that works best for me is quite all-purpose; it’s good for daily life and also for formal readings. I call it the “Fountain of Light” because that is the visualization of the energy we raise and use to cloak ourselves.

Often methods of psychic protection are called things like a ‘bubble’ or a ‘shield’. I don’t like either of those terms. A bubble is too flimsy, and a shield is too war-like. Honestly, the best analogy for this type of protection is a condom because it allows us to safely interact with others in a pleasurable way.

While we may use things like prayer, incense, essential oils, crystals and stones to enhance the protective energy around us, all true psychic protection comes from the energy we raise. Wearing a crystal or reciting a prayer may help, but it won’t do the job completely if we don’t do the energy work.

All energy work begins with conscious breathing, and that is how you want to begin your Fountain of Light meditation. Bring your attention, and your breath, to your root chakra. From there, send your energy into the earth to ground yourself.

Bring energy from the earth back into your root chakra. Then, move that energy up your spine until it gathers at your crown chakra. Open your crown and send the energy out of the crown in all directions like a fountain, falling around you and creating a moving layer of energy around you. Send that energy into the ground, and cycle it back up into the root chakra and once again up the spine and out of the crown. Keep the energy moving around you and through you throughout the day, and throughout your interactions with others. Give the energy a color that feels protective and comfortable.

Once you get comfortable with this quick meditative technique you will find that, throughout the day, you can check in with your energy field and feel the energy moving around you, grounding you, refreshing you, and protecting you.

Hard Tarot Truths: The Death Card, Death, What We Sometimes Don’t See, and What it all Means

When I present a psychic gallery, I begin with a list of rules.  One of those rules is that I am willing to take questions about other people who aren’t in the room - living or dead. (Yes, tarot ethicists, I do third-party readings, but that’s for another discussion.)

The rule has a second part. I am willing to talk about other people living or dead, but you must tell me which they are. To me, the dead look a lot like the living, only happier.

This usually gets a laugh from the group. I don’t say it for the laugh, although I certainly use humor as a tool in giving readings in both individual and group settings.

A quarter century as a full-time reader has shown me my truth. To me, the energy of those in spirit and those still living is virtually indistinguishable. Except, as I said, the dead seem wiser, lighter, and happier in general.

Many people who fear tarot and choose not to get readings cite their worry of hearing about death (their own or someone else’s) as their primary reason for avoiding the cards.

Many fearful first-time clients implore me not to tell them “anything bad”. The unspoken request is that I avoid any conversation about impending death.

There is an actual “Death card” in tarot; Major Arcana 13, situated between the Hanged Man and Temperance. Many clients are quick to say, “Oh, I hope I don’t get the Death card!” not realizing that very often Death is the predictor of happy things like marriage, pregnancy and job change.

Tarot teachers generally preach that “Death doesn’t mean death”. Even the writers of The Simpsons episode “Lisa’s Wedding” knew this. When Lisa draws Major Arcana 13 prior to drawing the ‘Happy Squirrel card”, the reader dismisses Lisa’s concern about Death as we are all taught to do, saying simply that it “just means change”.

Many tarotists feel that whether or not Major Arcana 13 can speak of physical death, we readers shouldn’t. Because of this, we get very little training or practice in dealing with issues surrounding death unless we choose to seek training outside of our tarot community.

This is an odd dichotomy, since many tarotists are also psychic mediums (me included), in regular communication with the spirit world.

Moreover, our clientele expects us to be able to deftly handle issues around death and dying. It’s assumed we have special knowledge where these delicate matters are concerned.

The fact is, many of us do have special knowledge and ability regarding death and the spirit world. Many readers become aware of their gifts after a trauma or near-death experience gives them a peek at the ‘other side’.

Many psychic people are tormented by natural gifts which force them to see the death of those around them before it happens. Typically, these folks do not pursue psychic development, rather, they try to block their dark visions, generally with little success.

We tarotists seem to be mired in this dichotomy, in one breathe insisting that the Death card can’t mean actual death, and in the next referring to Major Arcana 13 as “THE DEATH CARD”. Do we call Major Arcana 11 “The Justice Card”, or Major Arcana 5 “The Hierophant Card”?

We seem to speak of Major Arcana 13 in exactly the ominous tones we claim it doesn’t merit. What our conversation dismisses our inflection highlights.

This is emblematic of our need, as tarot readers, to get more comfortable with Death the card, and death the conversation.

Each reader has a specific set of skills, and a personal relationship with the cards. One primary goal of a reader is to figure out exact how Spirit, and the cards, speaks to them uniquely.

It makes sense that we are taught to avoid discussion of physical death as we learn to read tarot. Regardless of what we feel psychically or might see in the cards, predicting someone’s death generally seems neither healing nor helpful.

Yet, death is a part of life. Our clients come to us to get help understanding all aspects of life, especially those things that are most mysterious and painful. Like death.

Somehow, we as readers must each navigate these issues in ways that feel ethical and helpful.

For me, helping a client process a death that has already happened, or even a diagnosed terminal illness, is a loving process for which I feel qualified. My sense of the spirit world is clear. My connection with those in spirit seems undeniable.

The harder issues for me come up around the prediction of death, or even prevention of death.

In my lengthy career, I have had a variety of different experiences around death. Some are exactly what you would expect of an experienced professional like me. I have been able to see and predict the timing of death when appropriate, or note a problem that, in retrospect, foreshadowed a death.

 However, on some occasions, I just didn’t see it. It feels frustrating that, in a few readings, I can clearly see a person’s career problems and find in the cards and from the voice of Spirit brilliant workable solutions - but fail to see the profound tragedy that is looming just around the corner.

It happened in my own life.

There are quite a few people who have credited me with saving their lives by telling them to get to a doctor, or an auto mechanic, when I saw something dangerous in their cards.

Yet, my own mother’s lung cancer was stage 4 before it was diagnosed.

Why didn’t I see THAT coming early enough to do something to save her?

In my professional life the question is the same. How is it that I sent Client A to the doctor and her cancer was caught in the very early stages, but I didn’t see Client B’s impending heart attack? Why did I see that Jane’s daughter would drop out of school but didn’t see that Mary’s brother would be murdered?

When it comes to the actual cards that appear, for me death can show up in numerous ways, and rarely is it Major Arcana 13. I’ve seen death heralded by The Sun, the World, the Four of Swords and numerous other cards. But sometimes, I haven’t seen death at all, even when it was only days away.

Once I was reading for a person who is a good client and friend. We were discussing a relationship I didn’t see going anywhere for her. Just as the reading was ending she received a call on her cellphone telling her that the person we had just been discussing was killed in an auto accident.

Granted, I said the relationship wasn’t going anywhere, but…geez.

I know I am not the only reader to occasionally be confused around the energy of death. In January 2007 Sylvia Browne, on the Montel Williams Show, told the parents of missing child Shawn Hornbeck that their child was dead. In fact, he was later recovered alive, having been held prisoner not too far from his home.

That Shawn’s parents kept looking for their son after the psychic suggested he was no longer living was a blessing, and a reminder to all of us to never lose hope, regardless of what we perceive, or what we see in the cards.

Yes, the cards never lie, and intuition is always a voice of truth. However, sometimes we interpret those cards, voices, and impressions poorly. And sometimes, the information is just not delivered to us.

These rare experiences where big-energy occurrences fail to register for us are valuable because they foster deeper exploration.  They ask us to consider carefully our powerlessness to pick and choose the information that is given to us in a reading.

These experiences, though not the norm at my tarot table, can be perplexing. These experiences ask us to contemplate what is true about tarot, and about when tarot allows us to perceive death, and when it doesn’t.

Here are six things I have come to believe to be true.

1. Each person has their own capacity to sense death approaching, or not, just as each person has their own capacity for mediumship and other psychic skills. The ability to sense or predict approaching death is not an easy skill to cope with. It’s equally possible to be a very gifted psychic and not have the ability to sense death with any reliability.

2. The Universe ultimately decides how much we need to know. In processing what I saw as my own failure to prevent my mother’s death I realized I hadn’t failed – it was neither my task nor my ability to prevent my mother’s death. However, sometimes it IS my task and ability to give someone information that could save their life. It’s not up to me when that happens. Like life and death itself, that power rests in hands greater than my own.

3. Major Arcana 13 really doesn’t specifically predict physical death, nor does any other card with any reliability. However, sometimes we do see death predicted in combinations of cards or single cards that strike us that way in a single reading.

4. Those who have passed on can often speak through the cards, allowing tarot readers to delve into mediumship experiences and deepen their skills. While death itself can be hard to pin down, the spirit world is most often very willing to share with us.

5. We tarot readers need to find better and deeper ways to train for and talk about all aspects of our clients’ lives, including the most difficult and dire. Our job is not just about prediction, entertainment and strategy. Often, we function in the capacity of priest or priestess, offering spiritual comfort and wisdom to those who are bereaved, and to those who are facing the challenges that make faith hardest to have.

6. The future isn’t always set. Some things are fixed, others are mutable. That we will all die is fixed. The how and when of it is sometimes changeable, sometimes not. Sometimes we are given the tools to change a potential future, other times we are not. Sometimes we are made aware of a potential future, other times not.

I’ve come to believe that in each reading, the cards, our own skill, and the Universe work together to give us the information that is needed. We can muse and puzzle over why some information is given, and some is withheld.  From that rumination greater wisdom can be revealed.

Sometimes our own desire to not want to see something, or our own fear about how we might handle something difficult could block us from seeing an impending tragedy for ourselves or a client.

I think it is best to work toward compassionate detachment where we can see everything that is revealed without fear or judgement. I think we need to study and practice and learn how to handle the most difficult readings with skill and compassion.

However, I also know that sometimes it is hard to figure where our lack of skill ends and the Universe’s choice to reveal or hide information begins.

I think a good tarot reader must practice, study, meditate and learn as much as humanly possible in order to be worthy of the trust our clients place in us.

At the same time, we have to honor and accept our own humanity, and the power that always belongs with the Universe, and not with us.

We who seek to glimpse the spirit world, to peek at the future and hear the whispers of the angels are often amazed at the verifiable clarity and truth we reveal. When that doesn’t happen around something small we can write it off as unimportant. When that doesn’t happen around something big it’s harder to understand, and impossible to write off.

I guess the bottom line is this. We see what we see. We can’t know why the Universe shows us some things and not others, but we can trust there is a reason. We can work to improve our skills and remove our biases and fears so that we can see all that is possible to see, and deliver it in a way that give help and comfort.

One great comfort I get from these experiences is this. If, very often, the spirit of a living person and the spirit of a dead person feel the same to me, death can’t really be that much of a big deal.

Of course, the death of a loved one is life-altering and tragic. Yet, on a spiritual level, the ripple a soul makes while passing from one world to the other is often so gentle as to not be perceived.

May our eventual passing, and that of our loved ones, be distant, and equally smooth. And, while we are here, may we tarotists work to give comfort and well as information, and to inspire faith rather than fear.

Pro Tarot: When Compassion Makes You Crazy

Many years ago, in my office in Central Village, CT, I had a client who asked me a question that stuck with me for years.

The question was, “My boyfriend just got out of jail for allegedly molesting a child. I need daycare. Do you think I should let my boyfriend watch my child while I work?”

I found the question shocking and scary. I answered it without consulting my cards.

“Of course not! Why take a chance with your child?”

Years later, I’ve come to believe that I handled this situation badly. I should have kept an open mind, and done the reading.

Somehow, at the time, honoring the question with a reading seemed like participating in, and propping up, a certain kind of unhealthy thinking.

Just this week, in a conversation online, I was reminded of this when another reader posted about a seemingly obvious question that she refused to read on, for much the same reason that I had refused to read on that question so many years ago.

Most professionals have specific go-to analyses and advices. If a doctor sees your jaw is swollen, she will automatically assume you have a dental issue. If a police officer sees you driving erratically, he will automatically assume you have been drinking. A marriage counselor may always advise communication. A physical trainer may teach the same exercise routine to people of similar age and gender.

Sometimes these assumptions do turn out to be erroneous. Nonetheless, these assumptions allow professionals to efficiently serve their clientele.

These sorts of assumptions do not often help tarot readers.

While we tarot readers develop theories about life and spiritual beliefs that inform our practices, I think we need to avoid those professional go-to assumptions. If we catch ourselves talking about cards, people or situations in definitive, sweeping terms like “always” and  “never”, we have stopped being oracles and have started simply vomiting common wisdom.

I once knew a reader (thankfully no longer practicing) who, every time she read for a young girl in love, would put down the cards and launch into a pre-canned lecture about hormones, pheromones and neurotransmitters, and how the existence of these things proves there is simply no such thing as true romantic love.

While I have certainly met those who needed to understand the role biology was playing in their feelings and actions, this couldn’t have been sage wisdom for each and every young girl she read for.

Clearly, this older reader was coloring her readings with her jaded and unhealthy view, that love is impossible and nonexistent.

When I refused to do an actual reading for the client who wanted her ex-con BF to babysit, I was also inappropriately coloring my interaction with a client.

The social media friend who posted about refusing a reading said something that made me think. She said that the question she was asked made her angry out of concern for the client’s wellbeing.

This made me ponder the very few times in 25 years I have gotten angry at the tarot table. It happened, much to my dismay, just this past week, for the first time in many years.

Reading my friend’s comment made me consider something I had not thought of before.

It may be that we tarot readers, in our process of empathy, intuition, divination and communication, develop a strong desire for our clients’ happiness and wellbeing, perhaps because we can so clearly see their possible happy outcome.

When we see a client thinking or behaving in a way that feels unsafe and unwise, we sometimes get mad. I have often questioned what the trigger is for that anger. Now I realize it is compassion for the client, and frustration that we see they are making things harder on themselves.

While we are all human, becoming angry with a client for any reason doesn’t seem conducive to a good process. I know I have felt terrible the few times it has happened.

My desire for my client’s wellbeing and happiness is a good and natural thing. Most readers share that desire. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t do the work we do.

I think the mistake happens when we let our empathy for our clients become an attachment. Much like the physician who must accept their patience’s nicotine addiction, perhaps we must meet our clients where they are. We can suggest changes they can make, we can offer new perspectives, but we mustn’t attach to the idea that they have to change, or listen to us, or take our advice.

Many readers have complained to me about the clients who never seem to listen to them, but always come back with the same questions and problems.

It occurs to me that, not only must we release attachment to the hope that our clients will allow themselves to make positive changes, we must also never give up hope that they will, one day, heal.

Sometimes an addict must go to rehab many times before they really enter recovery. It took me many tries to quit smoking successfully.

Healing takes time and false starts, and people can’t heal until they are ready.

I think we tarot readers are at our best when we strive to be patient with people, and speak in gentle tones, rather than angry ones.

At the same time, the fact that our compassion for our clients is great enough to spark anger may be an important part of the psychic and energetic connection we make with them.

As in all things, balance is the key.