Not everyone is happy during the holidays. Sometimes the many references to joy and glad tidings can make people feel worse, not better.

There is something in our culture that people refer to as ‘toxic positivity’. Not just during the holidays, but at any time of the year, there are those who try to police emotions, and feel that the only emotions we should have are happy ones.

This is especially so in spiritual communities who over-zealously believe that we attract the energy we cultivate. The belief is, if we are happy, we attract happy things, if we are sad, we attract more sadness. There can be some truth to this. Yet, like all things, it is a truth best applied in moderation.

I believe in the power of positivity. I believe that optimism is healthy and helpful. Yet, I also know that we need to be authentic in our feelings, even if our feelings are not so positive. To shame ourselves or others for feeling down is hurtful, and ends up making everyone feel worse.

It’s often easier to heal when we acknowledge our hurt, rather than trying to mask or deny it.

Sometimes, when someone we care about is sad, our goal shouldn’t be to ‘cheer them up.’ Rather, our goal should be to acknowledge and hold space for their feelings.

There is a difference between being authentic in grief and sadness and being a victim. Sometimes people hang on to their grief and refuse to heal. I think it is that behavior that positivity enthusiasts like me want to call attention to and heal. When we live in grief and victimhood, we often create more grief for ourselves and others. When we authentically experience our full range of emotions without judgement, we have an easier time working through the difficult feelings and getting back to a more positive attitude.

It’s also possible to feel a wide range of emotions in a single day, or even in a single hour. When we are in a place of grief, we still have room for positive feelings interspersed in between our moments of pain.

Sometimes we feel guilty for feeling happy during difficult times, or for feeling sad during happy times. I think we do better when we acknowledge our feelings, and the feelings of those we love, without judgment.

During the holidays, we often get stressed by the extra demands on our time and resources, along with expectations that things be a certain way. I think we have more fun and joy when we can experience our gatherings and events by simply being present in the moment, and in the season.

Holiday Open House This Sunday

This Sunday, from 12 to 6 pm, will be our annual Holiday Open House. Please make plans to stop by anytime during our open hours with your donations of nonperishable food items. Bring a holiday treat for the snack table and enjoy some holiday cheer! Have free mini readings with our staff of talented readers who volunteer their time and skill for this event.

We even have a reader, Steve Homesack AKA Fast Horse, flying in from Pennsylvania to volunteer with us!

The Open House has been a tradition of mine for decades. It started in Putnam, Connecticut. For many years I was the only reader. Then, I asked students and friends to join me.

Now, I enjoy hosting the event and letting my students, friends and colleagues share and develop their skills.

I’ve held the Holiday Open House in six different locations in Connecticut and two in Pennsylvania. This will be my fifth location in Florida, and the first time in my new Palm City office.

You can see some pictures and read about some past Open Houses on my website. Here are pictures from 2010 in West Palm Beach, 2015 in Lutz, and 2016 and 2017 in Palm City.

Here is the write-up for last year’s event.

Please, be part of my special holiday tradition and join us on Sunday, from 12 to 6, at my new office at 3559 SW Corporate Parkway, Palm City. If you have questions, don’t hesitate to call or text at 561-655-1160.

Healing with the Dark Cards

While I believe that all tarot cards can mean welcome or unwelcome things in readings, it is true that some cards have happier images and tend to carry more positive messages. Often people fear working with tarot because they fear the messages in those darker cards. Truly, when we see a dark card in a reading, or when we choose to contemplate and meditate with a dark card, we have a real opportunity to heal.

When we receive a dark card in a reading, we can use the image as a jumping-off point in a healing journey. We can ask ourselves (or the cards) questions such as, ‘How does this image reflect my feelings and experiences?’ and ‘How can I tell my story differently to change what this looks like for me?’ and ‘What will my life look like when I am able to process this differently?’ and ‘What lessons can I learn from this?’

We can also feel a sense of validation that the universe sees and acknowledges our pain.

In contemplation and meditation, we can look at the image and imagine changing the image to reflect healing. The act of mentally removing the swords from the Three of Swords, for example, can be incredibly freeing and healing.

One of the reasons tarot is so powerful is that it reflects every aspect of life. Life, in all its aspects, is a miracle. Tarot can teach us to appreciate the miracle of life even when we are in pain and grief. Tarot does that by using the darker cards to expose our pain and offering solutions for survival and recovery.

The Week in Review

This week I shared a video with a sample tarot reading using Ciro Marchetti’s new Encore Tarot!

Did you catch Your Three-Card Weekly Reading on Facebook Live? If not, you can watch it on my YouTube Channel.

From Around the Web

New York Magazine shared a gift list for astrologers! I bet tarot readers would like these gifts as well.

Do you change tarot decks as the seasons change? If so, you might be interested in these tarot decks selected specifically for winter.

Christine-Claire Mallet is a French-speaking tarot reader who has shared her first post in English. Check out her blog, and learn more about this multilingual tarot artist!

Cards for Your Contemplation

This week let’s try a tarot exercise for your contemplation. Look through your tarot deck and remove all the cards that strike you as scary, dark or negative.

Now, look at each one of these cards deeply, and ask yourself the following questions.

How does this card make me feel?

Why does this card make me feel this way?

Does this card remind me of something going on in my life, past or present?

Does this card reflect something about me that I don’t like or don’t want to see?

Can I think of something positive or pleasant this card might signify?

How could I use this image in my own healing?

The more that we contemplate and consider the darker images, the less we fear them, and the more they can bring us healing.