The Difference Between Saying and Praying

In most religions and spiritual paths there is a practice of reciting memorized prayers, invocations, litanies and chants. When I was a little girl in Sunday School at the United Methodist Church I took pride in having memorized the Apostle's Creed before any of my classmates. I recited it loudly and proudly in church every Sunday.

These days, I still find power in the speaking, singing and chanting of sacred words, and know that their power is multiplied when uttered in unison with others. I know, too, that their power is enhanced with each recitation; that the chant I wrote five years ago has more power now, because it has been used so many times now, by so many voices.

There are also sacred words that we utter privately, in prayer, invocation, incantation, or to create sacred space. Many tarot readers and energy healers have specific prayers that they say before they begin their work.

As a mentor of professional tarotists, readers, healers and psychics, I often field questions from students who feel they aren't making the psychic connections as easily and reliably as they feel they should. Anyone who has been in this situation knows how frustrating that lack of connection can be!

Very often, the problem comes down to a simple root cause. I ask my student how they prepare for a session. The student will rapidly recite the prayer that prepares them for reading with the vigor of my child self in church, saying the Creed.

What generally ensues is a lesson in the ways we can use our words to connect with our will and our focus to move energy around us and through us.

It's the difference between simply saying “I am love” or using that phrase as you actively pull the energy of love from earth and heaven, run it through your body and send it out of your heart chakra into the world.

It's all well and good to affirm that you are, indeed, love, and it is a helpful affirmation. That alone, however, won't sustain you in an emotional crisis, because it's intellectual, not energetic.

The same is true for any affirmation, any invocation, incantation, healing energy work, chant, prayer of protection or preparation for psychic work.

The words we utter are sacred and powerful, but they need our active energy, focus and intention to bring them to life.

The next time you utter sacred words, use meditative breathing and mental focus to make those words more than something you say; let them become something you do.

The added power this brings to your prayer will most certainly make a difference.

Spiritual Single Still Seeking a Soulmate? Here's 10 Thoughts That Aren't Helping!

There’s a particular stereotype about professional diviners that suggest we have at our tables a never-ending parade of lovelorn women seeking hope for their disastrous romantic situations.

The truth is, people at my table are just as likely to seek connection with loved ones in spirit, business advice, and understanding of family dynamics as they are information about their love lives. However, it is fair to say that some reference to romance appears in virtually every reading.

That’s because our intimate relationships are so definitive of, and connected to, our experience in life.

It’s not only heterosexual women who seek insight from diviners. Over the course of my career I have read for people of all genders in all sorts of relationship configurations.

While no two situations, relationships, people or problems are the same, there are some threads of commonality that have become very clear to me over a quarter-century of full-time professional divining.

One demographic amongst those who bring me questions about love seems to have a great deal of commonality. That group is spiritual singles who are hoping to find love. They may be male, female, gay, trans or straight – what they seem to have in common are some particular perceptions about love, dating and spirituality.

Some of those perceptions are helpful, others may be so damaging as to become a barrier from finding the love they so desperately desire.

If you are a single spiritual person hoping to meet someone special, or afraid you won't, see if you are harboring any of these dangerous perceptions. 

1. It’s too late. 

Other variations of this are, I’m too fat or I’m too old.

One thing that is true about love is that love has no limitations. But, if your thinking about the possibilities of love is limited you’ll have a harder time finding what you want.

2. There are no good single people around me. 

Yes, sometimes the dating pool is shallow. When every visit to Bumble or Match shows you the same gallery of the same usual suspects, and every trip to the local watering hole delivers the same, it’s easy to believe that there are just no good candidates to be found. Thinking that way, though, isn’t helpful. If the old haunts turn up the same old faces, it’s time to find new haunts! 

3. Relationships aren’t worth it anyway.

If you don’t know the profound value of a relationship, it’s because you haven’t yet had a good one. Have faith in the power of love. Really.

4. I can’t be happy until I find love.

If you can’t be happy without a relationship you will never be happy with a relationship. Cultivate your happiness now, as a single person, and you will have happiness to share with someone special.

5. I know this new relationship is THE ONE because we share a birthday.

Variations on this can include any sort of synchronicity, spiritual sign, omen or intuitive feeling.

The fact is, we often feel a sense of spiritual connection and rightness at the beginning of a relationship. Sometimes that is a sign of good things ahead. Sometimes it’s not. This is important because single people often waste a lot of time trying to make bad relationships work, or mourning the loss of relationships, because they have over-spiritualized those relationships. The more time we spend on folks who aren't right, the less time we have to find the one who is.

6. I’ve never felt this way about someone before, so I know it must be right.

A new feeling, or a new experience, does not necessarily translate into permanence. There could be many other reasons for your feelings, including infatuation, chemistry, horniness, or even  growth in your own capacity to make a connection.

7. He’s a Scorpio and I’m an Aries so we can’t be together.

Please, please don’t let sun signs keep you from exploring a relationship! A good astrologer can look at your charts and see what the compatibility, and potential problems, might be. And, any good astrologer will tell you that one can’t possibly assess compatibility based on sun signs alone.

8. I love my ex so much, I don’t think I can ever love anyone like that again.

Love is infinite in its capacity. You may not be able to imagine yourself with someone right now, just like you can’t imagine eating food after you’ve had a big meal. In a while, though, you’ll be hungry again.

9. I need to tell the Universe exactly what I want in a partner.

This can actually be a good exercise, but it’s not a necessary one. There are many common advices about what one must do to find a great partner. Some say you have to make that list, others say you have to actively date, others say the right one comes when you stop looking. All of these things will be true for someone, so do what feels right for you!

10. I am sure I will know my soulmate when I see her.

Love at first sight is a real thing, but we can’t know if it’s really love or just attraction until some time passes.  Assuming you’ll know it when you see it could cause you to miss a good opportunity, or to waste time with a bad one.

Additionally, the term “soulmate” can be counter-productive because sets up a lot of expectations. The fact is, there are very likely a few people on the planet who could be a good match for you. Often, we over-spiritualize the concept of love and partnership to the point that we make it feel more impossible than it is.

Love is all around us, yet often feels dishearteningly elusive. Ironically, when we see dating in a practical, logical way we can increase our chances of finding the amazing spiritual connection we seek.

The Bunny in the Bramble Patch

The Blog March is on! Organized by Robin Renee, we are blogging in celebration of freedom of expression, knowledge and information.

Each Day in May, a new writer will join the March. Visit Robin Renee’s blog to read more about the Blog March, and find the master list of blog marchers.

May 1 is Kevin Patterson, and May 3 will be Domino Valdano.

I’m the marcher for May 2. Thanks for marching along with me.

Yesterday was May First. Celebrated as International Worker’s Day, it’s the cross-quarter day between the Vernal Equinox and the Summer Solstice.

When I was a child, we celebrated May Day by creating paper “May baskets” and hanging them on the doors of neighbors and loved ones. Later, I discovered this tradition was a holdover from the Pagan celebration of Beltane, or Beltaine.

As a young adult, I began celebrating Beltane with my friends, complete with a Maypole. When my son was born on May 4, Beltane became a time to celebrate his birthday, too.

For my son’s third birthday, my friends and I agreed to gather at Kettletown State Park in Connecticut for a celebration. There would be birthday cake and games for the kids, guitars, drums and wine for the adults, and a pot luck picnic for everyone.

We all brought colorful ribbons, and my friends who had a truck brought a large pole.

The Maypole dance was the focal point of the day. We laughed, danced, drummed and chanted our way around the pole, weaving the ribbons in and out. Kids blew bubbles and pulled their younger siblings in wagons around the outer circle, joined by our family dogs, gleeful to be part of the festivities.

Afterwards, a few of us walked up to the meadow beyond the space we had claimed, where we saw another group also celebrating Beltane.

This group was dressed all in black and white robes.  Their Maypole was a solemn affair, with black and white alternating ribbons. They moved with precision, creating an equal balance of light and dark as they danced silently with each other.

We marveled that, in this small Connecticut town, there were two groups celebrating Beltane in the same park. Our two groups could not have been any more different. One, somber, precise and traditional, in black and white. The other, playful and colorful, in tie-dye.

At the end, one Maypole stood woven in black and white, the other was a mishmash of rainbows.

Neither of these was the right way to celebrate Beltane, nor was either the wrong way.  One way appealed to my friends and me, the other way appealed to our new friends.

Our two groups enjoyed a conversation and a beverage together, and then we each continued our own celebrations.

We didn’t argue about the one true way to celebrate Beltane, nor suggest that anyone’s deities or ancestors might be offended. We shared a drink, enjoyed our commonalities and honored our differences.

Folks all around the world seem to have a hard time doing what we so naturally did that day nearly 23 years ago – enjoying the things we have in common and finding ways to work together despite our differences. In some ways, our divisions seem to have a dangerous new intensity. Worse, those divisions seem to be fueled by the proliferation of fake news and alternative facts. When truth is only a matter of opinion, it’s easy to confuse people into swallowing a party line rather than making reasoned decisions.

There are many unprecedented components that seemed to have contributed to our current state of division, as a nation and as a planet. Digital media, the 24-hour news cycle, and significant wage disparity all seem factors in our growing division and distrust.

There is also a longstanding aspect of human nature that may require some evolution if we are going to become a peaceful planet with a sustainable future.  

That aspect is our binary world view. We are trained to view everything in terms of good versus bad, and us versus them.

Binary is a basic concept of our existence. As young people, we learn about opposites in absolute terms. The black and white ribbons and robes of the Maypole express this energy of balance between opposites.

When we look at today’s problems, and perhaps, our problems throughout history, we see that much trouble may come from that polarity of our thinking which naturally divides us.

Sometimes we don’t find solutions in the black and white, we need to look to the full spectrum for answers.

We see the obvious problems with a binary world view in our own American two-party political process. Perhaps America is too complex to be labeled as simply “conservative” or “liberal”, “red” or “blue”.

That polarity led us to our unwinnable election. With all the talent and intelligence in the United States, we ended up with a choice between the Pumpkin and the Pantsuit. It may as well have been a choice between Zap Brannigan and Mom from Futurama, or President Snow and President Coin from The Hunger Games. South Park echoed our frustration with a plot line about an election between “Giant Douche” and “Turd Sandwich”.

Maybe the system of absolutes, where your only options are on or off, one or zero, male or female, up or down, doesn’t always work in a diverse world.

Perhaps as we evolve as a species, binary needs to break down. Perhaps we need more than two major political parties. Maybe we need to find fluidity between two poles, rather than being stuck on one end or the other.

That fluidity can be helpful in navigating the wide set of human experiences. When it comes to separating fact from fiction in our world of fake news and alternative facts, though, fluidity doesn’t seem to serve truth.

One of the greatest of all binaries is true versus false. It also the one to which people are most likely to add artificial fluidity when it serves their agenda.

There are different kinds of truths, too.

There are quantifiable truths, such as how many people attended an event.

There are philosophical truths such as “all people are created equal” which, clearly some do not hold as truth.

There’s the truth of what happened in a particular moment, where each person’s perception colors their version of the event. We see this on a grand scale when we watch the news-as-entertainment cable stations each highlight and present news stories in a way that obviously favors their political leaning.

We all experience things differently, and perceive things differently.

Pete Seeger used say that truth was like a “rabbit in a bramble patch.” You can point at it, you can circle around it, you know it’s in there somewhere, but it’s impossible to get your hands around it’s furry, squirmy body.

That we can’t always identify truth scares some people. Those people often find comfort in dogmatic religions and authoritarian leaders – the very things that suppress the truth by feeding us doctrine.

As a society, we complicate our search for truth by raising our children to confuse myth with fact, training generation after generation to believe the fantastic over the logical.

There is something within us that causes us to long for answers, to feel safe identifying with a group, and to cling to stories that support our beliefs, even if neither the stories nor beliefs reflect actual truth.

In the end, our survival as a species may depend on our ability to move beyond our “us and them” mentality, and to understand that we will never all share the same perspective, and we will never agree on what is true. Yet, we can still find a way to live and work together.

As black and white breaks into the spectrum of rainbow possibilities, there is only one binary set that remains. It’s not the eternal struggle between good and evil – that has always been a false construct based on perspective.

The one binary that becomes defining of our precarious future is love versus fear. These are true opposites.

If we focus on fear, those loose boundaries will terrify us, perhaps, ultimately, to the point of our own extinction.

If we focus on love over fear, we can maybe agree on the important truths, like basic human rights. We can learn to tolerate our differences around the smaller truths, like how we worship and what we value.

Some of us had, at one time, imagined and longed for a future in the crunchy granola world that Marlo Thomas sang about during the 1970s; that land where we were all free to be you and me.

That future vision turned out not to be so one-size-fits-all.

Now, when we look to the future, our vision of utopia needs to be replaced with a new paradigm where we simply get along and respect each other.

Perhaps, If we each strive to love more than we fear, we can end this time of division, and all agree that the bunny is alive and well in the bramble patch. 

Thanks for joining Blog March 2017! Make sure you march along each day this month to see what all the contributors have to say!

An Open Letter to Holy Clothing: Please Rethink Your Word Choice!

Dear Folks at Holy Clothing,

I am sure you know how much we in the tarot, Pagan, artistic and musical communities appreciate you.

We are grateful for your knowledge that beautiful women come in all sizes and ages.

We count on you to provide our ritual regalia, our work uniforms and our stage costumes.

We rely on you for the clothing that allows us to feel like ourselves.

You call yourself “Holy Clothing” because you know that many of us use your garments for spiritual work. Is it wrong then, for me to think that you should hold yourself to the highest possible standards?

My concern, originally, was for your use of the “g-word” in your marketing for the beautiful Talia skirt. When I visited your website, I saw that you use the word “Gypsy” quite frequently to describe your fashions.

In the ad that caught my attention and earned my ire, you encourage us to express our “inner Gypsy”.

In the 1970s, many of us used the g-word to describe people who travel a lot, and people who are free-spirited. There were songs, like Stevie Nicks’ “Gypsy” and Max Creek’s “Gypsy Blue” that made it seem acceptable to use the word “Gypsy” to describe a lifestyle, a fashion choice, or an aesthetic.

I’ve been a fulltime professional tarot reader for the past quarter century. During that time, clients have required me to “dress like a Gypsy”.  This never felt comfortable to me, but the word-Gypsy-as-aesthetic was common in our popular culture. In the 1990s, people looked at me like I had two heads when I suggested to them that we shouldn’t name our spiritual group “Gypsy Grove” because the word “Gypsy” is an ethnic slur.

Eventually, I gave up, embraced my “Gypsy costume” and decided I had been overly sensitive.

Social media allows us to connect with people from all over the world, and to learn about their struggles first-hand. Over the past few years, I have recognized that it was indeed wrong of me to call my costume a “Gypsy costume” rather than a “fortune teller costume”.  I had been right all along to bristle against the use of the g-word, and the idea that “Gypsy” is an aesthetic.

Your use of this word is unintentionally rude and inaccurate. The only people who have an “inner Gypsy” are the Romani, or Roma.  Even then, use of the g-word is problematic.

It’s true that some Roma use the g-word to describe themselves. That puts it in the category of the n-word. There are some words and phrases that can only be spoken by the people whom the word originally maligned. When they speak it, they take their power back.  There is nothing empowering about the way you are using the g-word. Quite the opposite, really.

Please, read some history. Understand how brutally the Roma were treated by Hitler. Learn why the word Gypsy IS an ethnic slur, and IS NOT a description of an aesthetic.

In 2017, when ethnic-based hatred is a revealing itself all over the planet, doesn’t it make sense for us to be extra-special careful with our words?

Don’t we magickal folk understand the power of words on a deep level?

When you ask us to embrace our “inner Gypsy”, what you are really asking us to do is embrace our inner free spirit, our inner hippie, our inner mystic, our inner artist, our inner dancer…

Why not say something like that, instead of using a slur? And, beyond that, there is absolutely nothing about the lovely Talia that is even slightly reminiscent of actual traditional Romani attire.

When you ask us to embrace our “inner Gypsy”, you sound as terrible as if you were asking us to embrace our “inner Jap” or “inner Chink” or “inner Mick” or “inner Spic”.

Why reduce an entire ethnicity to an inaccurate and insulting aesthetic?

The 1970s called, and they want their insensitive language back.

You make beautiful clothing. Couldn’t the words you use to market it be equally lovely?

You pride yourselves in your ethics, and your hand-crafting. Please, let your words match your stated ethical commitments.

Find Yourself in a Magic Mirror!

When I say “magic mirror” you probably think of a smartass talking mirror from a Disney movie.  However, the idea that we can get information from a mirror, or that a mirror can be enchanted, is not just a thing of fantasy.

The “mirror, mirror on the wall” has its origins in ancient magical practices. Today, people all over the world practice mirror magic, with excellent results.

As with any magic that turns a mundane item into a magical tool, the power comes from the Hermetic law “As Above, So Below”. Whatever task that item performs on a mundane level, so it does on a spiritual or energetic level.

So, what does a mirror do?

A mirror reflects.

We see evidence of the magical nature of mirrors in many cultures and practices.

When I was a young girl being initiated into my first Brownie troop, our ceremony involved looking into a mirror as we recited a chant:

“Twist me and turn me and show me the elf, I looked in the mirror and saw myself”.

In that ritual, we used the mirror to find within us the Brownie we were becoming.

Many people use mirror-gazing, or scrying, as a divination method to reflect truth.

A mirror becomes a focus point for concentration and inner reflection in group practices such as dance, and Bikram Yoga.

In Feng Shui, a mirror reflects a noisy neighbor’s disruptive energy back to them.

We can energetically send a psychic mirror to folks in need of enlightenment. This will cause them the painful-but-necessary experience of seeing the truth about themselves that they have been avoiding.

We can also use a mirror to help us heal from self-doubt, uncertainty about our skills, low self-esteem and lack of confidence.

If you are not aware of, and confident in, your skills and abilities, or if you can’t see your own awesomeness, try a magic mirror to help you see your own beauty and value, and to help others see it as well!

You’ll need a small compact or hand mirror. You can use a treasured heirloom, a cheap mirror from Walmart, or a leftover mirror that came with makeup.

If you like, you can decorate your mirror with symbols that resonate for you, and represent you.

To begin, you must “charge”” your mirror. Other words to describe this process include “enchant” or “dedicate”.

You can do the charging ritual as formally or as casually as you like. If you choose to perform a formal ceremony to charge your mirror, choose candles, incense and colors that support self-esteem, self-love, personal enlightenment and general success.

The core of the ritual, and the only truly necessary part, is that you must write a dedication for your mirror, and speak the dedication as you hold your mirror.

Your words will charge the mirror with your intention. Your intention is to look into the mirror and see within it your skills, your talents, your beauty, your connection to Spirit and your purpose on the planet.

Your words can be simple or elegant. You may write a rhyming dedication if you like. What is important is that you clearly state, see and feel your intention.

Here is a rhyming dedication, or incantation, you can use if you like.

I charge this mirror with an awesome task
To without delay do as I ask.
When I gaze, allow me to see
All that is valuable within me.

Once you have charged you mirror, you may use it in meditation whenever you feel the need for a confidence boost. Use you mirror to help you find the courage to pursue your dreams and desires.

Simply sit quietly and breathe. Ground yourself to the earth, and set your intention in your mind.

Now gaze into the mirror, and quiet your mind.

Focus on your breathing, and allow your gaze to soften as you continue to stare into the mirror.

What thoughts or inspirations come to you?

What do you see about yourself that you didn’t see before?

As you gaze into the mirror in a meditative state you may ask questions about your life, your journey toward self-acceptance and success. Wait for the answers to present themselves to your heart.

Let your magic mirror help you see what is special, unique and precious about you!

Stop Trying to be a Good Person!

We often mentally divide our world into “good people” and “bad people.” We want to be good people. We fear bad people. We try to raise children that turn into good human beings.

We struggle with self-esteem, worried that those around us will discover that, underneath our attempts at goodness, a bad person lurks.

When our kids are small, we teach them good behavior, but “being good” and “good behavior” are not the same thing as being a good person.

The idea that people, rather than behaviors, can be good or bad, is a harmful myth that is long overdue for busting.

What makes a person good, or bad, in our opinions? It’s pretty subjective, and entirely related to culture and context.

You can’t be good or bad at being human. You simply are human, capable of amazing courage, creativity, kindness, generosity, greed, callousness and cruelty.

There will always be people we like, and people we don’t like.  There will always be people who do things we like, and people who do things we don’t like.

There are hurt people, ignorant people, and fearful people. We call these “bad people.” Sometimes they do things we don’t like. Sometimes they do things that hurt others.

There are healed people, thinking people, and charitable people.  We call these “good people”. These people do things we like, and try to help people.

 We can be good at the things we do. We can do good things for the world. We can handle situations badly. We can do things that have bad consequences.  We can have good intentions that result in bad outcomes. None of that is the same as being a good person, or a bad person.

Instead of striving to be good, and worrying that we are bad, let’s strive to be authentic. Let’s work to release the things that hurt us. Let’s cultivate joy. Let’s raise our children to be curious, appreciative and responsible.

Rather than fearing the people that we believe to be bad, or fearing that we, ourselves, are bad, let’s recognize that fear itself is the source of most of the badness in the world.

We are all good humans, because to be good at being human, you simply have to be born.

Perhaps we would all do better at living on the planet if we accepted the flawed beauty of our humanity as the miracle that it is. Perhaps if we stop trying to be “good” and instead focus on being “healed” we’ll have fewer hurt people in the world.

“Good” and “bad” are subjective judgments that don’t mean much of anything, especially in describing people.  When we strive to be good, we are striving for a meaningless and unattainable goal. When we strive for healing and growth, when we work to be authentic, to be kind, to be strong and to be creative, we become capable of doing great things.  We succeed, and we become the people that help the world evolve.

An Open Letter to Self-Published Creatives

Dear Artists, Authors and Inventors,

I am writing from my perspective as a member of the tarot community. However, I believe most communities function in pretty much the same way. If you are a self-published creative in any community, or want to be, please pay attention.

Twenty years ago, we called self-publishing “vanity press.” To pay to publish your own work was usually a waste of time and money. Technology changes everything. Today, self-publishing is a viable option for a wide range of creative people.

The success of your self-published project depends a great deal on your ability to market your project. To do that, you will need to reach out to members of a community. You will need to connect with other entrepreneurs who produce podcasts, webcasts, vlogs and blogs. You need interviews, and you need reviews.

We vloggers, bloggers and reviewers need you, too.

At a certain point, I realized I had gained some notoriety for my webcasts and reviews, because my inbox began filling up with introductions from creative people, essentially asking me to promote their work.

That’s not as bad as it sounds. I need interesting people to interview, and new products to review. Every professional community is symbiotic in that way. We have to work together. We can support each other, and lift each other up, or we can tear each other down.

When you approach members of a professional or hobbyist community to ask for support for your project, everyone’s experience will be better if you keep a few things in mind.

First, we are a community. Many of us have known each other for years, even though many of us have never met in person. If you send an impersonal cut-and-paste form letter to each of us, we will know. If you want to send an email blast to people you don’t know to announce your new project, just don’t.

If you want my time, take some time to build a relationship with me. You don’t have to buy me dinner or send me flowers. You do have to send me a personal email, not a copy-and-paste request. Understand the value of community, and of relationships. If I like your work, I will introduce you to my friends. That is how it has always worked IRL (in real life). That is how it works in cyberspace, too. We all want and deserve this basic human courtesy.

Here’s a true story. Recently, many of us received the same email request regarding a new project. My friends and peers smelled a spammy rat right away. My reaction was different. I was excited about the project and forgave the heavy-handed approach. Well, without any further contact, and without my request or permission, they added me to their official spam mailing list! I had no choice. I withdrew my support from a project that had really excited me. My friends had been right all along. Yum, yum, crow.

Ultimately, whether your bad internet manners are a result of naiveté or intentional spamming doesn’t matter. Your poor results will be the same. You see, we all have mailing lists, too. We are very careful to make sure we don’t spam people with our mailing lists. That you don’t show this same courtesy and restraint shows us we don’t want to work with you. Behavior matters.

Here’s another true story. I was doing weekly webcasts on a Livestream channel. Over the course of a week, I received two emails, each from people hoping to promote their self-published creation. One was very demanding about his requirements for the interview; even though he was the one requesting it! I expressed my enthusiasm for his project, and explained the constraints of my production schedule. The reply I received was abusive, beginning with the phrase, “You are an idiot.” To this day, I have heard nothing more about this project.

The other person who approached me was very polite in his initial email. When I responded by inviting him to be a guest on my show, he was appreciative. We had a wonderful interview. His project has become a successful reality, and he is now working on a follow-up project. This time I’ll reach out to him with a request for an interview.

Please don’t misread me. I am not saying that my webcast is a star-maker. I am saying that the attitude of the artist matters. To promote your work, you have to make the rounds. There are more shows looking for guests than you can imagine. Bring a good attitude, and you will be on every show and in every blog. Bring a bad attitude and very few of us will want to talk with you.

In any community, there can be a few talented people with difficult personalities. Most people are forgiving enough to appreciate talent and excuse a few social faux pas, thank goodness. However, for most of us, there is a saturation point. If you irritate enough people, you will have a hard time finding any peers who are interested in your work, no matter how good you work might be. This isn’t usually an organized community-wide blacklist, it’s just something that happens. What you learned on the elementary school playground remains true to this day. If you don’t play nicely, no one will want to play with you.

The ability to interact with creative people is one of the great perquisites of my job. Like many of my friends and peers, I will gladly review your project and promote your Kickstarter. We are all in this together.  I can support a friend. I can support a community member. I can support great art. I can’t support an egomaniac, or a spammer. I can’t support an entrepreneur who doesn’t take the time to learn basic internet courtesy. I think you will find many of us feel the same way.

Trikes for Grownups!

Are you looking for something interesting to put on your holiday gift list? Adult tricycles are becoming more popular for the boomer generation.

Unlike the trikes we rode when we were toddlers, adult trikes have three wheels that are all the same size. Most adult trikes have a sizable basket in the back. That’s my favorite part. I use that basket for laundry, tarot cards, musical instruments, and anything else you can imagine.

I first noticed adult trikes when we moved to Florida. Immediately I knew I wanted one. As I did some research, I learned that the adult tricycle is not a new phenomenon. In fact, I spent $5 at a yard sale to buy the carcass of a “Western Flyer” from the 1950s.

After much consideration, I decided it would be easier to get a brand new trike than to try to rehabilitate the antique Western Flyer.

There are a surprising number of adult trikes from which to choose, and seemingly more on the market every day. You can get a three-speed, a six-speed or a fixie. You can get wheel sizes from 20 inches to 26 inches. You can even get a canopy to shade you from the fierce Florida sun as you pedal to your water aerobics class.

The trike I chose for my first trike (yes, there will be others) is a Schwinn Meridian in Wild Cherry Red. I understand these are very popular in third-world countries for basic transportation to work. We could learn a lot from third world ingenuity.

We ordered the trike online, so it needed assemby. In the picture, you can see my dear husband added some bows and balloons to his stellar assembly job. The trike was waiting to great me when I arrived home from my trip to Connecticut.

It is also possible to purchase high-end trikes from bike shops. The top of the line is the Miami Sun, but there is a wide range of other options, too.

Adult trikes are perfect for those who need to carry more than a two-wheeler will allow. They are also great for folks whose sense of balance isn’t quite what it used to be.

For fun, transportation and exercise, the adult trike makes a lot of sense!

Holiday Season, Florida Style

Here in Florida, “season” is much more important than “the seasons.”  Season begins as the weather turns cooler. Folks start arriving from Canada, Michigan, New York, Ohio and all points north. Florida roads have almost as many RVs on them as they do cars.

Season doesn’t come in to full swing until January, but there is a moment when the seasonal season and the holiday season coincide. Christmas barbeques and holiday boat parades become the order of the day. Colored lights wrap around palm trees, and people wear their Santa hats to the beach.

In the years I contemplated making the move from the Northeast to Florida, I wondered how the holiday season would be, in a land that doesn’t snow. It turns out, we have snowfall events that feature soapflake snow and ice skating on plastic “ice”. We even ironically wear sweaters that say “Let it Snow.”

As the snowbirds arrive to begin our Florida winter season, the excitement in the air is palpable. There are stories to share, friendships to renew and people to meet.

There is a whole season of activities to plan; the first of which involve the celebration of the holidays, Florida style.

This is my seventh holiday season in Florida. I’ve been to Winter Solstice drum circles on the beach, and celebrated the New Year by jumping into the ocean. I’ve eaten Christmas Dinner on a picnic table.

It’s not the holiday season of my youth, and hot chocolate doesn’t have the same allure when it’s not freezing out, but I’ll take it.

If you need me, I’ll be stringing colored lights on my adult-sized tricycle, getting reading for the holiday golf cart parade.

Food from the Sky

After moving to Florida, my family started joking that avocados were the “zucchini of the South.” Up north, at a certain time of year, people’s gardens produce so many zucchinis they have a hard time finding homes for all of them.

As it turns out, avocados are only one of the luscious treats that literally fall from the sky here in Florida. We also have loquats, mangos, coconuts, carambola, and papaya.

Just the other day I ate a papaya that I grew myself. In my front yard is a papaya tree laden with fruit. When we first moved here a little over a year ago, a neighbor gave me a small papaya tree – just a stick to put in the ground, really. I made my daughter’s boyfriend dig the hole for it. I didn’t expect much.

Now I see what a gift a fruit tree really is. The tree has grown tall and is producing shade, fruit, and admiration from the neighbors.

I actually didn’t have the courage to eat the fruit myself. I am trained to only eat things that come from stores. My friend was happy to try one of my papaya for breakfast. When it didn’t kill her, I decided it was worth a shot.

I am sure there was a time in history when most people had the experience of eating something we grew with our own hands.  Now, this is a rare thing for many of us.

The sense of satisfaction and connection to the great cycle of life that comes from eating food directly from the tree is immense.

Here in Florida, we have corrupt politicians and crazy news stories. We also have food that grows year round in our yards.  Living in Florida can be a struggle in some ways. There are things, like papaya trees, that seem to make it worthwhile.