My Favorite Restaurant in Orlando: Whole Foods

I love Whole Foods Market. I know it’s fashionable to mock Whole Foods, even while nomming on an organic salad topped with nine-dollar-a-bottle handmade vegan salad dressing.

I know Whole Foods isn’t perfect, but for now it’s the best alternative I have. I have to admit I’m a food snob. But I’m also pretty healthy and I think there might be a connection.

Recently I spent the week in Orlando. Orlando is filled with tourist traps and restaurants. I love fine dining but living in a hotel for a week sends me into a food panic. I don’t want to spend too much money on food, I don’t want to eat fast food and I don’t want to miss out on nutrition or consume too many calories.

I was thrilled to find the local Whole Foods to be the biggest and most complete Whole Foods I had even seen. The salad bar and hot bar were bigger than many, but that’s not all. There was a sushi bar, a shrimp bar, a granola bar (I mean, literally, a place to mix your own granola from a variety of grains, nuts, seeds and fruits), a soup bar, and even a beer and wine bar.

The cafeteria was a lovely place to eat and the food was scrumptious.

Years ago I would shop at Edge of the Woods in New Haven, Connecticut. I remember how strongly I protested that they wanted to start selling meat there (I don’t know if they ever did). I’m no longer a vegetarian but I didn’t try any of the meat products on the hot bar – I was too enthralled with the tempeh, dolmades, salads, eggplant and other veggie offerings.

In the cafeteria I noticed a gentleman really enjoying some ribs while his companion was eating hummus. I decided it’s a good thing to serve a wide variety of foods – there is something for everyone to enjoy. One thing I love about Whole Foods is the meat department. Everything is labeled according to its cruelty-free and free range production techniques.

There are some really fine restaurants in Orlando. But for the savings in money and calories and the opportunity to eat a wide variety of healthy and delicious food I would choose Whole Foods every time.

The Crystal Controversy

It would be hard to be involved in metaphysics or New Age philosophy and not learn the power of crystals. Crystals and gemstones are a cornerstone of New Age and metaphysical thought, practice and business. We use crystals and gemstones for empowerment, healing, chakra balancing, storing energy, meditation, divination, magick and manifestation. We use them for personal adornment as well, but most of us believe our jewelry serves a double purpose. Our crystal pendants are lovely to wear and also provide healing and support. Every New Age merchant stocks crystal and gem jewelry, as well as some pieces for healing, divination, magick and collections.

I first learned about the power of crystals and gemstones in the 1980s when the New Age movement was in full swing. I would use adhesive tape to affix gemstones to specific parts of my body and would swear they brought me healing. I would make medicine pouches for my friends complete with stones to offer the specific type of healing I thought they needed. I learned to make jewelry and, for a while, supported myself by stringing beads and wrapping crystals.

I went to Arkansas to mine crystals a few times. When I first arrived at the mines I was shocked at the damage we were doing to the Earth. It is, after all, a mining enterprise like any other. I learned from the locals that we had another choice. The local sheriff was also the preacher. On a Sunday morning we could break the law and go into the woods to mine crystals as the Native Americans had. Since the sheriff would be preaching there would be no one to arrest us. While the idea of mining in a more natural way appealed to me I understood the reason to protect the forests. I declined and went back to the commercial mines.

Unlike the “rockhounds” who were simply fans of geology my friends and I prayed and meditated before, during and after the mining process. We believed the crystals we mined were healing to those who would buy them, even as we hurt the Earth to get them.

Years after my time as a crystal miner and jewelry maker I successful pursued the calling that would become my life-long career – tarot. When, in the 1990s, I ran Christiana’s Psychic and New Age Fair I was happy to have a few wonderful vendors of crystals and gemstones, including the well-known Ed Mondazzi of Discount New Age Books.

When Ed heard I was planning surgery to be a living kidney donor he gave me a beautiful and very large quartz crystal. I still have that crystal today and I treasure it. After the surgery the crystal was by my bedside. Its energy was so strong it disturbed the machines that were attached to me. One nurse wanted to take the crystal away. The doctor (an internationally known transplant surgeon) wouldn’t let her. “Shield the machine.” The doctor ordered. “That’s her healing crystal. She needs it.” Whether the doctor truly believed in the healing power of crystals or was simply pandering to my belief system I do not know. The nurse shielded the machine and I recovered.

I believe in the power of crystals and gemstones. I believe in their ability to help us be healed and balanced. I believe that crystals store power. I believe that crystals and gemstones attract positive energy to us.

Indigenous people all over the planet used the medicine of stones in one way or another. But indigenous people did not rape the Earth wholesale to procure the stones. I’ve come to wonder if we are really in our integrity as spiritual people when we contribute to the destruction of the planet so that we can have this particular medicine.

There are other problems, too. Over the years we learned that the politics in certain countries were such that some gemstones came to us figuratively soaked in blood. Of course we knew that about South African diamonds, but some of our healing stones might be similarly tainted.

I love my small but potent collection of crystals and gemstones. I use them regularly. Many of my friends are jewelry makers. I treasure the gifts they have given me and wear them with pride. But I don’t go to the gem shows the way I used to. And I don’t think I’ll ever mine again.

I’ve come to wonder, too, if we could use the power of the crystals and gemstones without removing them from the Earth. If we simply ground ourselves to the Earth and focus on the crystals we know are there could we avail ourselves of that healing energy without doing such damage?

The metaphysical community claims to love the Earth. Some of us are Pagans, vegans and environmentalists. We are healers. We are organic farmers. We walk lightly on the Earth. We pray, chant, drum and dance for the healing of Mother Earth.

Am I the only person who sees a conflict here?

I’m not sure how to reconcile my love for crystals and gemstones with my love for the Earth. I don’t have any particular solutions, except these two.

Let’s work on developing meditative techniques that harness the power of gems and minerals without having to mine them from the Earth.

And let’s start a conversation about how we can heal ourselves without causing so much harm to Mother Earth.

The One who got Away

We all know about the fish story. Whatever the size of the catch it will never match the glory of the one the fisherman missed. What is it within us that makes us mourn and long for the one that got away more than we are grateful for the one we caught? It doesn’t really matter when it’s about fishing, but it matters a lot when it comes to love.

Recently an article appeared on Yahoo Health that really irritated me. The title is “Study: One in Seven Adults is not with Their True Love.” The article is about a survey of 2,000 adults which discovered many people had “made peace” with their partners but felt that the “love of their lives” was someone who had “gotten away”.

The survey was conducted by an organization that produces an opera festival, so clearly the questions asked may have been written more for their dramatic impact than their ability to create a legitimate scientific study. The article irritated me because it tried to use science to propagate harmful myths about relationships.

To a certain extent I believe in fate and karma when it comes to love. If someone really is your “true love” you will be with them when the time is right. There is no force that could keep that from happening. So it stands to reason if they “got away” they got away for a reason. And if they got away, you have no idea whether or not a long term marriage would have worked with this person.

In the drudgery of cleaning toilets, washing dishes and paying bills it is easy to fantasize about someone you knew when you were young and carefree. Young love is special and poignant. It is harder to find romance amongst the day-to-day operation of a household.  But are people really naïve enough to believe that the one who got away would love them and support them and work with them better than the one who stands by their side year after year? And who is Yahoo Health to promote such unhealthy suppositions?

Another unhealthy supposition promoted by this article is the concept of the one true love. That may have had merit when people were married at thirteen and dead by the time they were thirty. With the longevity we now enjoy there is time in many people’s lives for more than one true love.

Rather than encouraging people to pine for an overly romanticized lost love it may be healthier to help people consider the stability and support many long term relationships provide. If you are not feeling the love for your partner right now, don’t despair. In a long term relationship people fall in and out of love with each other all the time. If you allow the relationship to go through its phases and cycles you may find that you rediscover love with the one who has been by your side all along.

If your long term partnership really doesn’t work, don’t let the fantasy of a long lost love sustain you. If it is time to start a new chapter have the courage to do that while looking to the future rather than to the past.

The age of social networking has brought with it many late-in-life reconciliations and reconnections. It is not unusual these days to hear about a couple who broke up in college and after marriages and kids have reconnected in their senior years, courtesy of Facebook. These are often stories with happy endings, but we cannot assume that these couples “should have” been together for all these years. When we are older being with people we knew when we were young can help us to feel young once more. Sometimes we imprint and bond with a first love. The comfort of that bond can be a blessing in old age whether or not we have spent the majority of our life with that person.

Most of us will have a story about the one who got away. Time will have a way of improving on that story. We may de-emphasize the important point that ended the relationship way back when. The alcoholism may seem like less of a burden in hindsight, for instance. It is important to remember our younger years and to treasure and learn from those memories. But chances are the one who got away did so for a good reason.

Why you are a Magnet for Narcissistic Men and What you Can Do About it

Ladies, are you an a-hole magnet? Do all the men you date turn out to be more into themselves than they are into you? If it happens once, it’s just dumb luck. But if it happens multiple times, there might be a reason.

One likely reason is quite simple. You are not attracted to very many guys, but the ones you are attracted to all have something in common.

You like dynamic, charismatic guys.

You like their charm, their power and their wit. And when they turn their attention to you it makes you melt inside.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. But here’s the problem.

Many (not all) dynamic, charismatic guys are narcissistic. That’s why so many politicians are jerks. It’s a problem for women who like dynamic men exclusively.

The good news is this.

There are a few guys in the world who are dynamic and charismatic and compassionate. It is possible, though rare, for a person to have both the qualities you like and the qualities you need to have a good relationship.

You generally can’t change what attracts you. But you can manage the pitfalls.

When you meet someone you are attracted to be aware of the huge chance that this person will treat you badly. Be open to the relationship, but look for the red flags. When you see the red flags appear, don’t waste time! You’ve been there before and you know where this is going.

The problem is that the type of guy you need is rare. You need to spend more time looking for him than you spend trying to make a doomed relationship work or recovering from the damage.

If you can quickly weed out the trash, you will have time to find the gem that is right for you.

Three Interesting Trends in Modern Music

I’ve always been a bit of a fan of rap, hip-hop and R&B. When my Deadhead friends were saying “rap is crap” I made them listen to an old recording of a young Bob Weir rapping the lyrics of “Throwing Stones.” When my feminist friends bemoan the subjugation of women in some rap lyrics and the lack of serious female rap artists I point out that the rock world is no different, and direct them to artists like Lauryn Hill and Missy Elliott.

I know the music we hear on urban contemporary radio is a far cry from the energy and creativity of the movement that started forty years ago, but I still appreciate it. It’s interesting to see how music changes from year to year, and to speculate on how it reflects our society.

Here are three trends I’ve noticed recently.

1. Humor and decent music aren’t mutually exclusive.

We know this. In the rock world we had Frank Zappa. In the pop world we have Weird Al. Hip-Hop has a sense of humor, too. Consider the popularity of LMFAO. Their name and appearance mark them as a comedy duo rather than a serious musical act, but their tracks “Party Rock Anthem” and “I’m Sexy and I Know it” are still popular in the clubs and on the airwaves.

The rap world has always placed a high value on clever rhymes, wordplay and cultural mockery, proving that you can be funny and danceable at the same time.

2. Hip-hop is losing its hate.

Maybe something shifted the day Eminem decided to record with Elton John.  Yes, there was a time when the hip-hop world seemed to align themselves with an anti-gay agenda. To those who want to dredge up those unfortunate lyrics now, I have two words for you - Adair Lion. And here’s another two words – Same Love.

3. What a difference a real estate crash makes.

It’s interesting to see how the economy drives cultural trends, and how cultural trends are reflected in music. In 2002 at the height of the housing bubble I had to tell my middle-schooler that we would not spend $100 on a pair of Air Force Ones for him, even though Nelly had to have two pair.

Now, in 2013, post-crash, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis are off to the Thrift Shop with $20 in their pocket and it’s effing awesome.

At my age it would be easy to bury myself in music from my youth, or to stick to one favorite genre to the exclusion of all others. If I did that, though, I think I would be missing some cool stuff.

The masses may sometimes be asses, but just because something is popular or mainstream doesn’t automatically make it shallow and cheap. Listening to the tight rotation of modern FM radio is annoying, and, yes, overly commercial. But America’s favorite songs reflect where we are right-now-this-minute as a culture. Today during morning drive we hear “no freedom ‘til we’re equal” and that it’s awesome to thrift shop. I’m good with that.

Lucky Jack’s a Lucky Find

Lucky Jack’s a Lucky Find

Driving back to the hotel from the last gig of a ten-day working trip to Connecticut we needed a place to eat dinner. We wanted a celebratory meal since it would be our last night in Connecticut before we started making our way back to Florida.

But where does one go to eat at 9 pm on a Sunday night in Northeastern Connecticut?

We remembered there had been a restaurant right off exit 87 in Plainfield. In fact, in the time we had lived in the area there had been many restaurants there.

We were happy to find Lucky Jack’s in that spot. It turns out they had opened only three months prior. Although it was late and the restaurant was just about to close, we were welcomed in and seated graciously.

The décor is marvelous; luxurious brown leather chairs and a western theme understated enough not to be brash or tacky.

The menu is extensive, with something for every taste and diet.

The house salads were large, including a variety of greens and veggies. I didn’t think one could find a great salad in Plainfield, CT, but obviously I was wrong. The dressings were made in-house as well.

My entrée was a chicken dish with arugula, artichoke and sun-dried tomatoes. The flavor and presentation were exquisite.  My traveling partner had a steak, which was a special of the evening. He was equally impressed.

Although we traveled for sixteen days total, I had the best meal of the entire trip at Lucky Jack’s. The service was spectacular, the food was well-prepared, creative, high-quality and delicious. The very reasonable check was a nice bonus, too.

It seems that particular spot, right off 395 at exit 87, has not always been a lucky place to have a restaurant. I hope it will be lucky for Lucky Jack's! If you are in the area check out their website and give them a visit!

A Special Plant

One of the plants I inherited from my Canadian friend was simply called “datura.” I thought this was cool because my office in West Palm Beach where I spent five happy years was on Datura Street.

The plant was large and had spiky seedpods. Soon it developed two distinct kinds of flowers.

When I transplanted it from its pot into the ground it became clear that I was working with two plants, not one. Some internet research lead me to the truth.  What I had was a sacred datura, also called moonflower or devil’s trumpet and its close cousin, a brugmansia, also called angel trumpet.

I was startled by the names of the flowers. One of the first spiritual groups to which I belonged was called “Moonflower,” and the Angel Trumpet reminded me of the Judgment tarot card. Surely these plants were meant for me!

The seedpods belonged to the moonflower, and soon I had moonflower seedlings sprouting up all over. The angel trumpet is becoming a tree that is taller than I am.

Breeding the angel trumpet will be a more difficult matter. It can only be fertilized by one insect – the hummingbird moth.

When I lived in Loxahatchee I had a neighbor who invited me to see a hummingbird moth at his angel trumpet tree. I had forgotten about that until I saw the beautiful blossoms on my own plant.

Another interesting thing about these flowers is they are night blooming. There is something really special about plants that bloom at night.

Both of these plants are considered poisonous. They are from South America, and both are used in spiritual ritual as an hallucinogen.  Sadly, here in the United States some people have tried to use them recreationally with poor results. Therefore, the plants are only legal in 47 states, and datura and brugmansia enthusiasts are very careful about with whom their share their seeds and plants.

There is a strong worldwide community of people who grow, collect and breed these interesting plants. I feel that I will have a lifelong connection to these beautiful living things.

Jerry Week

Each year fans of the Grateful Dead celebrate the first week of August as “Jerry Week.” There are movies, concerts and festivals all over the country honoring the late Jerry Garcia and the music and culture of the Grateful Dead.

Jerry Garcia was born on August 1, 1942. He died on August 9, 1995.

In his lifetime he was a singer, songwriter and a graphic artist. He played rock, blues and bluegrass. He had a passion for American music and with his best-known band, The Grateful Dead, was responsible for creating a new kind of American music that combines jazz, rock and blues, called “jam rock” or “psychedelic rock.”

Like some of his followers, Jerry struggled with the addictions throughout his life.  Those addictions contributed to his death at age 53.

A branch of AA/NA specifically for Deadheads meets during set break at virtually every concert of every band that continues to play Jerry’s music.

One of my favorite Grateful Dead songs is “the Music Never Stopped.” When I am lucky enough to catch a show with one of the many national, regional or local bands that have sprung up since Jerry’s death I am always happy to know that the music won’t ever stop, no matter what.

I meet young people at these shows – kids who were too young to ever to have seen Jerry play. But they know the songs and they love the music as much as I do.

This week I am excited to be working in Connecticut where my love for the Grateful Dead was first engendered when I saw the Connecticut-based band Max Creek in my late teens. I won’t get a chance to see a show, but I will join my fellow Deadheads in appreciation of the life, music and art of Jerry Garcia.

To see a timeline of Jerry Garcia’s eventful life, visit http://jerrygarcia.com.

My Accidental Garden

I did plan to begin gardening, but my garden nonetheless stared accidentally.

While living in a small community in Davie, FL I made friends with some of the Canadian snowbirds.

They loved gardening, and would return in their RVs each year to the same spot to continue nurturing their flowers.

When the announcement came that our community would be closing, I needed to find a new home and my Canadian friends needed to find new places to winter.

They also needed to find new caregivers for their plants.

I found a new home in in a community on the west coast of Florida. The truck would hold just a few of the plants my friend bequeathed to me. Her French was much better than her English – I didn’t get the names of all the plants, nor all of her lengthy instructions for their care.

Part of getting settled in the new home was transplanting the plants into the yard. I had no idea what I was doing.

So far, it has gone better than expected. Some of the plants that were small enough to fit in our van now tower over my head.

I must be doing something right.

The purple queen that Pierette had given me a handful of, saying “Just soak these in water,” is spreading throughout the backyard. When storms break the shoots I’ve taken to planting the shoots in the front – it looks like they’re going to grow there, too.

Because I don’t know what I’m doing I’m not afraid to try things. Some of those things seem to work.

The datura had a lot of seedpods. I spread the seeds around and now I have seedlings with flower of their own. I’ve transplanted some of them to the front, too.

The zinnias are the most difficult. They’ve had mildew, snails and storms threaten them. But they keep on blooming, and keep on attracting butterflies.

Come September I think I’ll start an intentional garden by planting seeds of my own choice. But I’ll never forget the seventy-year-old woman from Quebec who gave me my first plants.

True, Kind and Necessary

How often have we seen a Facebook meme that instructs us before we speak to make sure that what we have to say is true, kind and necessary?

This “filter” as it is sometimes called, has been attributed to Buddha, the Sufis and guru Sai Baba.

The Rotarians have a similar expression. Many gentle religions, including the Quakers and the Unitarians, have embraced this philosophy.

Facebook memes are easy to spread around. Just hit “Share.” Many memes promote kindness and positivity. Some memes are cute and funny. I am a huge fan of Grumpy Cat.

But many memes don’t pass the filter test. A huge number of memes that publicize scary “true” stories and statistics are simply not true, never mind being kind and necessary.

I’ll bet that if any one of us vetted the memes on our Facebook wall on any given day we would find many of them to be untrue. Except the ones about cute cats, of course. The cats truly are cute.

Facebook is a platform for people to share their concerns. Many people like to use Facebook to promote a particular agenda. That’s all well and good. But how is it helpful to spread falsehoods, even if those falsehoods prop up your fears and beliefs?

I never unfriend based on politics. I expect that some people will feel differently than I do about certain issues, and that’s fine. I respect and appreciate everyone’s right to an opinion, as long as those opinions are derived from facts.

Sadly, it seems that a lot of opinions are formed on untruths and half-truths, especially on Facebook. No one side is guiltier of this than another; every agenda seems to have its fair share of misinformation.

For instance, a meme that claims that George W. Bush has the lowest IQ of all presidents for the past fifty years is absolutely untrue. Another untrue meme claims that the majority of Barack Obama’s campaign contributions came from a handful of wealthy overseas financiers.

The next time you see a disturbing anecdote or statistic on social media, take five minutes and vet it for accuracy before you share it. Sharing lies, even with good intentions, helps no one.

We live in a world where fear-mongering shapes our political and social agenda. What would happen if each one of us made the commitment to stop spreading fear and lies, and only shared what we discovered to be true?