Compassionate Detachment

We all need boundaries.

Years ago, I coined the term “compassionate detachment” to describe the state of mind that a good tarot reader must maintain in order to access intuition, help people, and stay healthy. Over time I have come to realize that this state of mind is actually necessary for everyone, not only those who work closely with others, or who engage in the psychic arts.

Getting to the mental space of compassionate detachment isn’t easy. You have to start from a place of compassion for all people.

Let that sink in for a moment; that’s ALL people. That’s not just people you like, or people who are kind to you, or people who act in a way that pleases you, or people who believe what you believe, or people who haven’t hurt you; that’s everybody.

The easiest way for me to get to that state of mind isn’t by being logical or rational, it’s by focusing on my heart chakra and sending my breath there. It’s a meditative process. Try this exercise so you can see what I mean.

Focus on your breathing. Make your breath as full and as deep as possible. Then, turn your attention, and with it, your breath, to your heart. Picture that you are breathing directly into your heart. With each inhalation, as your chest expands with air, feel your heart expand with love. Imagine that your heart is growing bigger and bigger, just like the Grinch’s heart does in How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

With each exhalation, release the anger, fear and hurt that has built up in your heart.

Then, as you breathe in, focus on holding compassion for all people. Understand that hurt people hurt people, and that those who have hurt you, and those who have hurt the people you love, and those who make decisions with which you do not agree, may be acting out of their own lack of love.

As you breathe in, feel gratitude for your own capacity to love. Recognize that you have enough love in your heart to share with those who haven’t enough.

Now, as you exhale, release your need to care about, or control, what happens next, in your life, and in the lives of those you care about.

Wait, doesn’t that sound like a contradiction?

Of course, we need to care about ourselves, and about others. Of course, we need to be engaged in our future, and the future of our planet. But for this one moment, release your need to care and control. Breathe in love, and as you breathe out, release your attachments. Recognize that you can pray, hope and wish for good things, without being attached to the outcome. Know that in this one moment, all that matters is your breath, and your ability to hold love for all.

As you breathe, come to a place where you can trust that whatever happens, the world will continue to turn. Come to a place where you can trust yourself, no matter what happens.

Now, affirm your right to say no to whatever doesn’t feel good and right to you. As you breathe in, feel your own power to make decisions for yourself. As you breathe out, release any attachment to the opinions of other people. As you exhale, let your breath surround you to create around your energy field a boundary of safety and protection.

It is from this loving, detached, protected place that we are best able to help others, and to help ourselves.

Boundaries are super important. So many of us feel guilty when we say no. Yet, we feel even worse when we let people walk all over us. It is impossible to be a compassionate person without maintaining healthy boundaries.

When someone tries to make you feel guilty, hold them in compassion, detach from your desire to please them, and keep your boundaries firm. Forgive people for their manipulation, but, at the same time, don’t let yourself be manipulated. Recognize that your boundaries serve not only to make you safe, but also to make safe the very people who try to push past them. When you stop another person from hurting you, you are helping them as much as you are helping yourself.

Practice this meditative breathing exercise and remember to use compassionate detachment in your interactions with people. This will make you more effective, healthier and happier, no matter the nature of your relationships with others.

Mercury Retrograde in Leo and Cancer

This summer’s Mercury retrograde is from July 7 through August 2. Its shadow is felt for two weeks prior, and two weeks after. Each Mercury retrograde is different, and this one has some particularly interesting qualities. We will experience its energies playing out nationally and internationally as the drama of Leo collides with the sensitivity of Cancer, while Mercury retrograde’s tendency for miscommunication could reflect many of us feeling thrown into a righteous tizzy over small things that seem to take on an overblown sense of importance. The emotionally charged reactions to a Disney movie, and the misremembered history that made airports central to revolutionary war strategy give us a small taste of what could be in store for us over the next few weeks.

I’ll leave politics, arts, and culture to the pundits. My job during this summer’s Mercury Retrograde is to help you make the most of the opportunity this time affords you. This particular Mercury retrograde is a time to heal your heart, soothe your soul, and remember who you are. This summer, you can learn to use your energy where you can be most effective, release unnecessary drama and emotional attachments from your life, and harness your creativity in a way that will bring you lasting success and satisfaction.

I’ve developed a special tarot session at a special price to help you work with the unique energies available during this Mercury Retrograde. Your Summer 2019 Mercury Retrograde session is a half hour in length, and available at the discounted price of $50. During this time, we will work together to help you remember who you are and what is important to you, reclaim your creativity, release your attachments and motivate you to move forward on your important projects.

A Mercury Retrograde session with me is only available July 7 through August 2. Don’t miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for healing and insight! Call or text 561-655-1160 to book yours!

Compassionate Detachment Tarot Spread

Here is a spread you can try with your tarot deck, or any other oracle, to help you get to your place of compassionate detachment.

You can arrange the cards in any pattern that feels good to you.

Card 1: My current ability (or resistance) to have compassion for myself.

Card 2: My current ability (or resistance) to have compassion for others.

Card 3: What I need to know or do to cultivate more compassion for myself and others.

Card 4: What I need to know or do to help me release my attachment to the actions of others.

Card 5: What I need to know to help me release my attachment to outcome.

Card 6: My natural ability to hold healthy boundaries.

Card 7: What I need to do to hold and maintain proper boundaries.

Psychic Gallery at Center for Inner Wisdom

On Wednesday, July 17, 7 pm to 9 pm, please join me for a very special evening. I will be presenting a psychic gallery in a small, intimate setting at the Center for Inner Wisdom, 4849 N Dixie Hwy, Suite 2, Oakland Park, Florida 33334.

I love doing psychic galleries because the energy of sacred space, and the energy of a group united for a single purpose, creates the perfect environment in which to receive powerful messages.

In this gallery, every person who attends will receive a reading that offers pertinent information and insight. You may even receive a message from a loved one in spirit!

Group members will hold space and support each other. Everyone will benefit from hearing and witnessing every message.

Ticket price is $30, seating is limited. You can register online now!

The Week in Review

This week I was happy to review a really interesting new tarot book, Tarot for Troubled Times, by Shaheen Miro and Theresa Reed. You can read the review on my website.

If you missed my Three-Card Weekly Reading on Facebook Live this week, you can catch the archive on my YouTube channel.

From Around the Web

Brene Brown has a lot to say about boundaries. Check out this video, any many more of her wise words on YouTube.

Fake positivity is dangerous and gets in the way of true healing! Spiritual bypass is a tricky way to deny your issues and avoid the healing you need to do.

This article uses different words to describe compassionate detachment, but the ideas are the same. Check out these 10 Rules for Reading Tarot for a Friend.

Cards for Your Consideration

This week let’s consider some alternative meanings for two cards. Both of these alternative meanings have become operative in my reading practice. Once I saw these possibilities for these cards, I couldn’t unsee them.

The first is Major Arcana Eight, Strength. Typically pictured as a woman and a lion, we often see this card as affirmation of our own strength to bear what we must and do what we need to do. This can be a card of tempering our wild nature, and that is where my preferred meaning comes in to play. The woman has tamed the lion not with brute force, but with love. Because of this, one of my favorite keywords for Strength is compassion. We must have the strength that the woman has, to recognize the lion’s wild nature, and not fear it. We must recognize our own inner lion, yet when that lion wants to roar, we very often must subdue its angry nature, and instead respond with gentleness.

The second card is the Four of Pentacles. Widely known as the card of the miser, this is often interpreted as selfishness, or a need for frugality. Very often, though, the Four of Pentacles can instruct us to be self-full, and to keep good boundaries. Many times, this card figures prominently in readings for people who come from families with poor boundaries. This card advises us to keep healthy boundaries without guilty or regret.

The next time you see these cards in a reading, consider if these interpretations might add value to your reading!